Hello, you requested a review from my Guide review service, found here. Again, apologies for taking so long to get to your guide. With anime boston being this weekend, I just didn't have a whole lot of time to review your guide.

I uploaded my markups of your guide as a PDF in the spoiler below - I hope you don't mind. I'd like to reiterate that the score attached with your guide doesn't necessarily reflect on the actual quality of your guide, but should instead be used as a means for you to gauge the relative importance of the points that i'm bringing up.


Overall a pretty good guide. It's a little funny though - In most of my guide reviews, I end up asking my guide writer to add most content on X and Y. However, in your guide, you did cover the actual content that I wanted you to cover, but not in the detail that I was expecting.

I'd like you to expand on a couple sections a little bit more (like the art of ganking, or gauging risk & rewards, or how to tower dive)

I'd also like to see some more content added to team fighting, and knowing when you can catch a carry.

Lastly, there's a little bit of cleanup that i'd like to see in your guide. I'd like you to really reorganize your cheat sheet, and remove the description of various enchantments and smite buff bonuses. There may have been other things that I asked you to remove in the review, but I can't remember them off the top of my head.

If you make these changes and go into sufficient detail, request a re-review from me and i'll upvote your guide. If you have any questions, you can reply to my comment here, or PM me if for whatever reason i'm taking a while to respond. I hope you got something out of this. If my review helped you out at all, throw me a +rep - it means a lot to me :)

Thanks for your time,
Michael

It has a lot of substance and potential.

Er, I get the sudden sinking feeling that you neglected to read the "Champion Select" section, where I go into more detail about the fluidity of the mastery page: a Mastery page, unlike the Rune page, must shift according to the team you're playing against. For example, I wouldn't want to take Evasive against a team like top Garen, mid Zed, jungle Kha'Zix, marksman Caitlyn and support Lulu.

Furthermore, I don't think my guide deserved a down-vote because you found one thing you took issue with--not only took issue with it, but also failed to support yourself with details! Pardon me for seeming indignant.

The reason I split my page into 0/16/14 is so I can have Wealth , which grants me an additional potion to use during my first clear of the jungle, not to mention the early ganking presence. Since the current meta supports snowballing, it remains imperative that I gank as soon as possible, and sometimes, even before the enemy expects it.

I will strive to make this clearer in my guide.

masteries are just a mess u cant split masteries like that becuz u lose the incredible advantages of the 21 element

I am giving this guide an upvote because you have explained many of your decisions thoroughly so I understand why you choose a certain item/mastery/rune etc. Also I found your mini-guide on jungle camps very helpful as well. Keep up the great work!

First off, thank you for your comment and vote! I don't really understand how these three items you mentioned turn into a downvote.

Then again, I am rather new to MOBAFire.

I list Locket of the Iron Solari as a core mid-game item. In the "Itemization" sections, I list alternatives, such as Banshee's Veil and Abyssal Mask. Some--but not all--support players pick up an Aegis of the Legion into a Locket of the Iron Solari, which is why it is important to communicate with your team about aura item purchases.

Sunfire Aegis doesn't stack, and as it is usually core on top laners I play with, I don't pick it up. Yes, it provides armor and extra damage to Flail of the Northern Winds, but I find the unique active, mana, cooldown reduction, and armor on Frozen Heart better in comparison.

Also, Sunfire Aegis, like Bladed Armor , has a non-zero chance to steal a buff I mean to give to my mid laner or marksman while I tank it, something I would rather avoid. If I want to build damage, I build Liandry's Torment, an item well-suited for The Winter's Wrath.

Since Sunfire Aegis causes a turret to target you, it is more difficult to safely siege with this item. As the tank, you are the front wall between your damage-dealers and the enemy, and if you have to retreat out of turret range because of this item, the enemy could find the opportune moment to engage you under their turret as you retreat.

I could go on, but I think I made my point about neglecting Sunfire Aegis and using Locket of the Iron Solari instead.

The guide is color-coded. Everything that is the same color is the same stat. For example, green is the color I used to show cooldown reduction, and white is the color of damage mitigation.

I'm sorry it hurts your eyes, but this is a style choice I get to make, and since the color makes it easier to skim the guide, I'm going to keep it.

I don't see where I need spacing between paragraphs. The guide is written in a business letter format.

Not every Udyr jungler plays him the same. Sometimes he counterjungles you a little, sometimes a lot. This is true for every champion in the League of Legends.

With this in mind, I don't think a matchup section is a good idea because it'll set up my readers to believe things that might not necessarily be true about their situation. The best thing a reader can do is start to think for themselves and gain experience in the jungle.

I mention that Sejuani does poorly against early-game duelists, and even list a few, and I go on to post a link to show how she does against different champions of the League. Is this not sufficient?

Again, thank you for your feedback, and I look forward to your reply.

I dont see how iron locket of the iron solari is viable early game. While cooldown is good, it might be better to get other tank items, cuz if you have this much money to get all of your core than your lucky. Usually you might want like a short dive under turrent after ulting so I would rather you get sunfire, spirit stone and boots for early game

Also your ability slides hurt my eyes really bad. change the colors, dont make it all the same. Need some spacing between paragraphs. I also think you should try to put up a small matchups section, like what to be focused on in this situation or whatever

overall, your content seems to be lengthy enough, just need to finish off some parts and explain why it is better to get iron before some tankier items.

Yay someone who knows how good move speed QUINTS are!!

That aside the reason I upvoted was because the build was solid, the guide was crafted well. One can easily see the effort and deadic... I mean dedication you put into it.

I personally like the fact that it does not have many images but most people are not like me, so if there is something I would change about it is to have more imagery whether relative or not. Something easy on the eyes and interesting.

Also not at all required but a video apparently matters a lot to some.

I wish your guide the best of luck in its development

Sincerely,
Deady

First of all: thanks for your comment!

Comment to Vote is on. I already learned from that mistake :)

Just fixed up the abilities section, as per your suggestion. I am quite content with its layout now.

I am working on making my runes and masteries explanations better, though I am at a loss as to how to do so. I suppose I could put up some examples?

Thanks again for your feedback!

Switch on Comment to Vote (CV2) so that you don't get random downvotes.

All you have done in the abilities chapter is list of the stats. Talk about the abilities! Which should you max first and why?? What kind of tips and tricks do the abilities have??

Elaborate more on your runes and masteries. One-line answers will not satisfy most people!

Good build looks like fun +1