Official QQ Thread

[quote=Vapora Dark][quote=Lugignaf][quote=utopus]What did you even say/do to screw up a friendship ? Just curious [/quote] Accidentally said she was worthless [b]without meaning to[/b][/quote] How does that happen? :S[/quote]

[quote=The_Nameless_Bard][quote=Lugignaf]Accidentally said she was worthless [b]without meaning to[/b] and she won't let me apologize at all. Saying sorry apparently just makes it worse for her.[/quote]Well, if she's struggling with those feelings herself, I can imagine this. Recently my mom basically did the same thing in a conversation (said something that basically implied I was a worthless loser), but I tend to give people a chance to explain themselves (in this case she just didn't think about how someone could take what she said) before writing them off. [quote=utopus]If it's a girl, then uhh... good luck :P[/quote]This is stereotyping a bit, don't you think? I've met more than a few guys who were far more inclined to hold grudges than I am. :P Even if it was a joke, it's still somewhat insensitive given the discussion.[/quote]

[quote=utopus]I can see how I came off as misogynistic there - I guess my comment was in the context of a bro-to-bro talk. Quite literally, I meant that there may not be anything he can do to reconcile. I've lost contact with so many female close friends, because they reacted badly to something that my friends or I had said/done, and opted to end friendships and cut contact than even try to make up. Many of the times this has happened to me, in my experience, I never got a chance to improve things with these girls: They would block me on facebook, their friends would block me, and they would not answer any texts, or read any snapchats I send them, even I haven't spoken to them in years. I haven't lost touch with any guy friends from this.[/quote]

[quote=The_Nameless_Bard][quote=utopus]I can see how I came off as misogynistic there - I guess my comment was in the context of a bro-to-bro talk. Quite literally, I meant that there may not be anything he can do to reconcile. I've lost contact with so many female close friends, because they reacted badly to something that my friends or I had said/done, and opted to end friendships and cut contact than even try to make up. Many of the times this has happened to me, in my experience, I never got a chance to improve things with these girls: They would block me on facebook, their friends would block me, and they would not answer any texts, or read any snapchats I send them, even I haven't spoken to them in years. I haven't lost touch with any guy friends from this.[/quote]I've lost many a male "friend" because they decided if I wouldn't date/sleep with them, they couldn't be my friend. And this wasn't because I gave them some wrong impression either. It was just the more and more common "putting kindness coins in a girl so you get sex and then whining about being friendzoned when she says she doesn't want that" crap. I've been given the distinct impression in these cases that the only way to "reconcile" is to go ahead and sleep with them, how is that any better? I get this is about personal experience, but guys do equally stupid and unfair things to girls. :P Also, depending on the situation, it's also fair to just cut contact with a person. If a guy thinks it's cool to joke about rape/abuse/ect, that's a huge red flag for me and I tend to just distance myself from those sorts of people because they often make triggering and insensitive jokes. I have enough issues as is without people causing panic attacks because they're insensitive assholes who don't know when to shut their mouths. Not saying you are that person, but wanted to point out that there are situations in which just not associating with a person anymore is the best option.[/quote]

[quote=Latest Legend]QQ[/quote]

[quote=Vapora Dark][quote=The_Nameless_Bard][quote=utopus]I can see how I came off as misogynistic there - I guess my comment was in the context of a bro-to-bro talk. Quite literally, I meant that there may not be anything he can do to reconcile. I've lost contact with so many female close friends, because they reacted badly to something that my friends or I had said/done, and opted to end friendships and cut contact than even try to make up. Many of the times this has happened to me, in my experience, I never got a chance to improve things with these girls: They would block me on facebook, their friends would block me, and they would not answer any texts, or read any snapchats I send them, even I haven't spoken to them in years. I haven't lost touch with any guy friends from this.[/quote]I've lost many a male "friend" because they decided if I wouldn't date/sleep with them, they couldn't be my friend.[/quote] That's not really a bad thing tbh. If they don't wanna keep being friends after being rejected, that's usually because they want to forget about you and move on, rather than latch onto you for months/years hoping you'll eventually change your mind and fall in love with them. It would be selfish of you to expect them to still want to be friends with you even though the only reason they are is because they're hoping to eventually become more than friends. Just sayin'.[/quote]

[quote=SkidmarkD]How can people let words bother them so much?[/quote]

[quote=The_Nameless_Bard][quote=Vapora Dark] That's not really a bad thing tbh. If they don't wanna keep being friends after being rejected, that's usually because they want to forget about you and move on, rather than latch onto you for months/years hoping you'll eventually change your mind and fall in love with them. It would be selfish of you to expect them to still want to be friends with you even though the only reason they are is because they're hoping to eventually become more than friends. Just sayin'.[/quote]You're misunderstanding what I was talking about. I would understand a guy who legitimately wanted to date me wanting time to get past the pain of being rejected. But there's a difference between that and some douche bag friend asking if you wanna "have some fun" and refusing, upon being told you're not interested, to be friends with you again until you sleep with them. :P Also it's actually equally selfish to become "friends" with someone purely because you hope they will eventually date you instead of just because you want to be their friend. Friendship should not be treated as a means to get in a relationship with someone and people who treat it as such are being pretty shallow.[/quote]

[quote=Janitsu][quote=SkidmarkD]How can people let words bother them so much?[/quote] Words can cause emotional pain or insult you. They do not cause bruises or broken bones but a hurt mind instead.[/quote]

[quote=sirell][quote=SkidmarkD]How can people let words bother them so much?[/quote] Funny you should ask this. Pretty sure I've seen you bothered by words in the past. The lack of empathy seems very apparent in you. There are actual (and very valid) reasons, but I'm pretty sure someone as smart as you already know them if you even just took a second to think about it.[/quote]