Your main goal in the laning phase is to act as a ward for your team mates, preferably lane bot with a hard carry like Twisted Fate or Mordekaiser (just a couple of many options). Walk around the lane while invisible preventing your carry from getting ganked, you must act as the womb for your child until they are strong enough to dominate your opponents.

Now by about 20 minutes into the game your team may be loosing faith in your superior strategic plan, but don't fret, just deny all surrender votes and ignore all hate comments until the see the true power house that is Hiemerdinger late game.

By this point you should have convinced all nay-sayers of your incredible carrying potential, now all there is to be done is to show them how big your e-peen really is!

You want to earn as much gold as possible, unfortunately Riot are ******ed and don't allow an extra 4 mastery points to obtain extra gp5. The true strength of this mastery page comes from the tanky dps and incredible attack speed that you will experience. At first your body may not be able to handle the pressure, but that's just a slice of the Hiemerdinger Pie.

After several back breaking months of vigorous testing, I've mathematically proven, through this equation x=*****+vagina that movement speed reds, yellows, blues and quints are the right decision. With this set-up you can be faster than an Ethiopian with a McDonald's voucher!

As a wise man once said "I got 99 problems, but you can SMD nigga" - Ryan "Gandhi" Jones.