Build Guide by Haelstrom
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Not Updated For Current Season
The masteries shown here are not yet updated for the current season, the guide author needs to set up the new masteries. As such, they will be different than the masteries you see in-game.
Shankplank the Gangster Pirate: Background
One day in his mobile crib, Shankplank was drinking orange juice and petting Woojoo the Bird while rotating his M9 in front of the TV analyzing how best to hold it in a fight when, to his dismay, the cable went out. "GAWAHWWRRR" scowled Shankplank, who began slapping the side of his old box. The nerve of that cable company, shutting him down! He was only 11 payments behind, this was racism was what this was.
The phone rang. Probably a bill collector. Or some enemy trying to scare him on his turf. Well, Shankplank wasn't messed with much thanks to his "capabilities," so the second was a rare occurrence. Grumbling, he grasped the phone as the wire barely stretched to his couch, and brought the speaker to his mouth with a scratchy and growling voice of: "What."
Shankplank's good eye opened real wide. Looked like he got himself a ticket to some game show, where these old people in dresses would use magic to teleport him in and, if he won, he'd get his cable paid off forever, and free orange juice. They didn't need to tell Shankplank twice, as he placed his trusty trademark shank in his jeans' pocket, gave Woojoo some bananas, and got ready to set sail for some serious hurt-wishing on anyone he met.
"..Some strange little man ran by and screamed at me in some gibberish, then shot at one of our minions and missed horribly. I.. I'm scared." ~Heimerdinger after first witnessing Shankplank.
Techniques of the Shank
>>>Shanktastic: Every time Shankplank shanks an opponent, they are shanked so hard, they bleed - harming them every second and making wuss heal powers 50% less effective for 10 seconds.
>>>BF Gat: Pops a cap in they azz. Now, as Shankplank, I love shanking. I love eating oranges. But sometimes when I'm not doing either of the above, I wanna option #C, you feel me? Like.. when I'm fighting dinosaurs and.. evil monkies and.. giant tentacle hentai monsters and.. little Chinese gangster Triad assassins and.. giant robots, sometimes the shank ain't enough.
This isn't a normal gat either. Infinite ammo, and it applies all sorta magical **** to make us awesome. Hits some buster for 20/55/90/120/150 plus 100% of Shank's attack damage as physical damage. Shankplank gains 4/7/10/13/16 extra cashflow if BF Gat deals a headshot. This ability can "crit" which is apparently when you don't hold the gun sideways (I don't quite understand this concept just yet), and it applies "on-hit" magical powers. Cappin' foos and taking their money.
>>>Orange Juice: Now some people think this is dumb. But they can shut their mouths. Picture it. You're out in the thicket of the jungle. Some crazy Twilight werewolf glitter glitter moron is trying to caress you and nasty garbage like that. You hungry. You tired. So are they. Suddenly, you pop these orange balls in your mouth and gobble them on down - bam. Vitamin C up in here. You are rejuvenated, and can cap them or shank them more efficiently.
In fact, these oranges are so good, that if people use magical woowoo energy to chain you to the floor, or "stun" you, or stuff like that? Gobble them oranges man, you will feel so energized it'll be the easiest jailbreak ever. You won't laugh at these oranges when you're dead and I'm eating some on top of your corpse. And they're good. Got Vitamin C.
>>>Headshot for Noobs: Ever got tired of silly, buster, horrible, garbage team-mates? Well unfortunately, you can't use this on the other four people on your team, but you CAN use this on the hundreds and hundreds of your "minions." You put your gat to their heads and BOW. Dead. One shot one kill. Now if that ain't cool enough, if you do this by a teammate, they stop being mad fools, run faster, and hurt people more so you don't shoot them next. Also, doing this gives you mad street cred, meaning you also hit harder and move faster.
>>>Woojoo the Gangster Parrot: You want my hidden weapon? You want my ultimate technique? You think I bought this bird just to teach it how to say "Who is your daddy, and what does it do?" Do you .. do you think he is from space and is more intelligent than the average human? You.. you thinking he is masterminding a plot to utilize my standing in the league to take over South America and unify it into a dictatorship so he can become The Emperor? Think he got connections into every organized crime element in da world? No idiot. You.. you idiot. No. No, Woojoo is a beast man, who facerolls all them stupid aliens and garbage.
See, Woojoo is so hardcore, I hand him my M9, and he flies into space. Woojoo then fires intergalactic magic bullets from the sky on a place of his choosing for 8 seconds, just unloading mad caps that deal 100 / 140 / 180 (+20% of ability power) damage a shot, while slowing enemy douchebags 35 / 45 / 55% for 1.25 seconds when dey hit. He holds my gun sideways too. I love that bird man.
His runes are obviously so he'll have an easier time early game, capping foo rather than being wholly reliant on getting items and pure pure pure luck early~mid. Incidentally, his masteries are set to give him a huge offensive boost, make Exhaust weaken fools harder, make Ghost help his slow pirate gangster *** run drive-bys, etc. I picked up Greed and Awareness for simple reasons: done right, Shankplank already makes more money and experience than the opponent. To compound this passively is nice.
His itemization is to increase his gold production, critical strike chance, critical strike damage, total damage output, etc. It is a very standard Shankplank gear load-out, the boots typically being either Tabis or Mercury, although if the enemy team has little CC and you're dominating, Swiftness isn't a bad option.
Remember: Lizard Buff is a great asset to Shankplank. It makes his Shanktastic capability even better, and with BF Gat, gives you some much needed CC besides your Exhaust and ultimate. Don't be afraid to headshot minions, be it yours or theirs; I recommend Headshot for Noobs'ing those canon minions you get, they got them big azz cannons and do they ever shoot the glowy crystal on the towers? No. Slow, muscles for nothin' - shoot them in the face.
A common strategy for Shankplank, besides shanking, is to keep watch of the map. Your ultimate, Woojoo the Gangster Parrot, can really save team-mates -- or, help them land kills. You can participate in team fights without even being there this way, all the while farming cash-flow.
Another strategy, coined "You Silly Hoe," is to keep whooping dem enemies until you're lower health. Bait one of them out, thinking they can get you. Then eat you some oranges and turn around, cap them in they stomach. It's real easy to make cocky players think your Shankplank is about to need to go to the hospital or something, and that's the time you wanna pull out yo gun and show your time playing Playstation as a kid was not time wasted.
Once you get used to Shankplank, about only thing that'll ever get you down is silly fools who get Thornmail or have similar capabilities. They know they can't beat you, so instead, they try to make you beat yourself. Rammus and Galio are real annoying .. stupid Saturday morning cartoon douchebags with this tactic, because they can make you, an otherwise civil minded gangster, do the stupid - and kill yoself as a result. Be forewarned.
That is all for now. I hope you all become real rich and can buy lots of oranges. Thug life.