I'm BeautyAndTheBard. I'm a Platinum Bard main with a decent winrate and 50k mastery on Bard, so I have enough ethos to educate the world on the Wandering Caretaker. Some of you younglings may be wondering, why main Bard? The answer is simple, yet expansive. First, Bard is ridiculously easy. Your Q is a skill shot that can hit 2 things at once. As long as you aim in the right direction, you'll land it. Your W is a heal. You don't even have to click a team member, just plop it down somewhere and let someone else figure it out. Your E is tunnel that goes through basically anything. Walls, Turrets, Inhibs, Nexusus (Nexi?). Your ult is basically an AoE Zhonya that affects everything inside of it. A blind Brazilian baboon with bad breath could play Bard productively. Second, Bard is just downright fun. He's as mobile as Lee Sin, and with my Korean inspired build, you'll be moving around the map with 500 move speed in no time. Third, the power is in your hands. With Bard's ult you can literally make your team lose with 1 move. Not that you should do that or anything, but I'm just saying things can happen. And in theory you can make the enemy team lose with 1 move, but thats really hard and not worth your time. Lastly, once you mute your team because they've been raging at you for playing Bard in ranked, you can just sit back and listen to soothing chimes and the sounds of nature.

So at this point many of you are probably thinking "Ok so I now know what runes, masteries, items, and champion I need, but what do I do get mad gains?" Aight so picture this. You're bot lane. You have an ADC. The enemy has an ADC and a support. What do you do? You kill motherf*ckers, that what you do. Spam them autos. You have AD Runes and empowered autos from your passive for a reason. Your level 1 Q + ignite does at least 1/4 of any ADC's HP. Just put yourself between your ADC and the enemy laners and nothing can go wrong. Ok some things can go wrong, but thinking negatively will get you nowhere. So once you hit level 3, make sure you have 2-3 heals lying around for your ADC to pick up, then wander around the map an pick up some chimes. Help the enemy jungler clear his jungle, that'll help you keep up in XP. Oh I think mid could use a gank too. Once your ADC has a level or 2 on you, go back to lane. (Note: if you see your ADC getting rekt 5 seconds after you leave lane, its probably not a good idea to leave.) So now you're thinking "Why would I leave so long that my ADC gets so much XP on me, and I'm so far behind?" Well I have the answer for you! From level 3 to 5 nothing changes about Bard, he just gets some more stats. A level 3 Bard has the same laning utility as a level 5 Bard, PLUS your ADC is (hopefully) a higher level than the enemy laners. As long as you can land a stun, your ADC will be able to outdamage the enemies and get a kill or two. Or give you a kill or two. I mean you did just leave lane for half an hour, you could use some kills.

Cons: You'll gain so much elo that you can't duo with your friends anymore

1) Go through a wall with Magical Journey (E). When an enemy follows you, immediately stun with your Q them against the wall you just went through.

2) Ult behind the enemies, so their options are: engage your team, stay still, or backup and get hit by the ult.

3) Make a keybind of something along the lines of "My dearest Attack Damage Carry, I would greatly appreciate it if you were to not get damaged while I am away collection chimes. Thank you!"

Bard was handcrafted to be the strongest level 1 champion in the game. Or at least in the top 50 strongest level 1 champions in the game. Either way, Bard's invading is next level. So instead of buying health potions at the start, get a pink ward. See picture below to see where to put the pink ward. So at about 1:35ish place your trinket in the bush by the buff, but stay on the other side of the wall. When the enemy jungle gets the buff to about 1/2 hp, start making your way around. Take your time to land your Q. You goal should be to stun the jungler to the buff, and kill the buff with that same Q. If you don't get the buff, just kill the jungler who should be at under 1/2 hp. Dont forget your empowered autos and ignite do a ton of damage. So now that you have successfully done something, RUN! You're about to have a mid, ADC, and/or support on your ***. If none of them decide to get the free kill on you, walk around and get some chimes. Chimes are nice.

If you're on Red side
If you're on Blue side

Note: the point of the pink wards is to see if your hiding bush is warded, and if they notice the pink if gives you time to GTFO