Sane people beware, this is not the right guide for you.

All of us wanna try something crazy sometimes and I believe I got ya a pretty crazy build for Vlad. :)

Late game with full build you should end up with over 1.1k AP and easily over 4k health.

Runes:

9x for some magic penetration
9x nice defensive runes, although seals don't really matter to me.
9x for that extra cooldown reduction to spam your Q extra hard. :D
3x typical health quints, help a lot early game. can be replaced by 3x Greater Quintessence of Ability Power if you're confident with your early game and want that extra AP and damage.

Together with Ruby Crystal and 4 points in Veteran's Scars and these quints, you will have a strong ~830 HP at level 1, making you extra hard to kill.

Masteries:

For masteries I go for an AP/tank set, rushing Archaic Knowledge in Offense for magic pen and going for typical tank masteries, ensuring better survival and easier early game.

Spells:

- Pretty simple, they ignite you and you ignite those *****es back with an ult on top for some supa-DO/T.
- A handy escape mech. Can also help to get that one more Q to kill them, or maybe even Q and R.
What? You want ghost so you can Q more than once? Well if they're running and you haven't even got em low enough, then pls delete 'cause you suck. Protip: Don't chase with ghost, you'll get screwed over somewhere in the jungle, where a flash over a wall can be way more useful and way more annoying to the enemy team. Then hopefully you can regroup with teammates and rape their ***es extra hard.

Possible alternatives:

- Fine, ya sissy. Ghost is alright combined with your supa-sissy Sanguine Pool to escape all those people who are awesome, 'cause you ain't and they wanna keeeeeel you. "Like sewiously guys" you can only pull a "Ghosting to battle" with that to get back into lane, but speed shouldn't be an issue with the awesome Boots of Swiftness
- Very useful for checking who's going where at the start, checking for ganks, baron, dragon, etc. If you take it, spam it as much as possible.
- Handy getting out of stuns. However there is something way better, look below in the items section.

This is the main "Trololol" part of this guide. Sane people beware, this- oh wait said that already. Anyways....

Core build:

Pretty simple, eh?

Start off with a . Already said why - the ~830 hp is a facerape to all bastards early game. Afterwards the usual second item - .

Then, sell your old lame and unfashionable and go for . Hopefully you should afford this first time back. If you got some nice early kills, you might be able to go for a instead.

After that it's pretty simple, finish off your first lovely , should have about 230 AP right away. Turn your old lame boots into those sweet pimped out . THEY GOT WINGS! SRSLY LIKE, WINGS N ****!
(Yeah, that extra speed helps to harass with your Transfusion.)

Afterwards get MOAR RABADONS!!! There you go, you can even have the icon for them -
You can start buying the after you got the 2nd or the 3rd.

At the end you should have like shiiiiiiit loads of AP and Health, you'll be raping everyone.
Seriously, you'll be eating Twitches and Teemos and Caitlyns in two-three bites, no chewing.

Now, I do understand it's an expensive build, but you really have the tools to obtain the money. Tides of Blood is the ultimate farming tool, Transfusion is an omgwtfvladsop rape nuke, Hemoplague together with Ignite will finish (nearly) anyone off easily, and if you end up in a place that's too tight, ya can use the sissy-wussie-noob Sanguine Pool and slip away, hopefully to go behind your teammates who have arrived to help you and then slap those enemy *****es across the face with your giant... emm... something...

Ok, and here's the promised "better than cleanse" thing - yep, thats right, its the almighty Quicksilver Sash . This baby will only cost you 1440 and get you outta **** like stuns, ignites, taunts, damage over time spells and then some.
You will have to sacrifise about 200-ish AP for it, but in some cases its well worth it. Plus, the cooldown is 45 secs shorter (unless you take a point in Willpower, skill making QS 15 secs better).

OMG I GET LOADSA KILLS WHY NO SOULSTEALER YOU IDIOT? Well ya know what, you can take that Mejai's Soulstealer of yours and stick it... somewhere safe. No, but seriously, MSS is a gamble. At max stacks it gives you 160 AP and 15% CDR. You die - you're down stacks and you're less powerful. Meanwhile, Rabadon's Deathcap grants you a fixed amount of AP, just 5 AP less than full MSS and when you die you're just as strong and ready to go recycle their faces into blood. As for CDR, get blue buff! You got CDR runes anyways, cooldowns shouldn't be a problem.

Not much to explain here.

In order of priority:
- Super HIV ult that causes a lot of AIDS damage (more late game) after a few secs. Best for finishing off wussies who run away.
- Main rape skill. You rip off bits of enemies and omnomnom them. Simple enough.
- Your main escape mechanism. Also great for escaping ults from champs like as well as many others. Also helpful early/mid game in 2v2 lanes when you're healthy and your laning partner is getting raped by someone like or . You can slow them and damage them at the same time and possibly kill them afterwards allowing teammates to escape.
- More of a late game skill. Handy last-hitting minions, so put a point in at level 4. Does a good bit of damage in teamfights, especially if you build up the 4 stacks of damage on minions beforehand. Not really a rape skill though.

First off, to mid or not to mid? (That is the question. Trololol Hamlet's feeling suicidal)
Well, it's entirely up to you. Vlad is a good mid for his survivability, but in my opinion it's much better to let someone like or or or anyone else mid, because they need that extra experience way more than you do.

We all know how much Vlad's ult has been nerfed and you don't need to rush to get to lvl 6, although lvl 9 would be nice for rank 5 Transfusion, it would still be better to have a good carry in mid.

Looking from your point of view, you gonna be with over 830 hp at lvl 1. You should be absolutely raping your side lanes slurping blood outta em bad guys and getting plenty of kills, way more than you'd get in mid where you don't get a kill/killed until 10 mins in (unless ganked or one of you is an idiot or both).

Afterwards use your common sense. Ask for help if you really need it, help others if they're having problems, ya know, just play LoL like you're meant to. :D

Have fun, go spread fear and terror among your enemies with your supa-hats. :D

1.0 - Build created.
1.1 - Added the extra about Quicksilver Sash that I forgot at first. >_<