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Let's Dispel The Excuses. (Toshabi's S4 Ranked...

Creator: Toshabi January 29, 2014 12:26pm
Nera
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Rofl! i have a friend who mains malphite and since hes not that good with any of the other normal supports as he doesnt play the role too often that's what he does malph support:D he usually carries like you did:D Even with people like that caitlynn who complain about the pick. its funny:D
Toshabi
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Yeah, this was a good example of "You can lead a bunch of ******s to water, but you can't get em to drink because they'd rather protest about gay stuff and would rather lose LP doing so". I tried so hard. I got so far. But in the end, the team. They just do bad stuff. Bot was 0/10 by the time 15 minutes had hit, but thanks to packing in teleport, I was able to gang bang that twitch with the jungler and sometimes mid. BAP! 500 killing spree bonus to malphite \:3/.



We had this game in the bag. But uh yeah. Jinx and annie had the urge to go on jungle adventures instead of staying with the team. I pinged. Pinged. Pinged. Pinged. But nope. They walked into their deaths. It reminds me of the last boss fight from Silent Hill 4, where you're going face-to-face with Walter Sullivan. You know you can kick this ******'s *** given you have enough time to do so. But the ***** you're trying to rescue will mindlessly walk forward. Yup. She will just walk into that fountain of blood regardless of her not needing to do that. And if you don't do your work fast enough, she will mindlessly throw herself into a giant pool of blood and get ground into 150 pounds of *****eroni.



Actually, this game was a lot like playing Resident Evil 4. No matter what you do, that ***** Ashley will always find a way to die and there's nothing you can do about it.











Leave it to my mid and top lane to ***** about how horrible bot lane was despite their score being..... yeah.



But yes, I was cool like an ice cube. **** happens. I'll get back up in no time.



Magikarp added me. Just 2 more pokemon and I'll have to get a name change.
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(1:07): I prefer your balls over ***hol












Toshabi
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jhoijhoi wrote:

Also, I think the levels of immorality in this thread are astounding. You'd really throw a child off a boat for your own luggage? Wow.





Wayne3100
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I know you're trying to make your posts entertaining, but watch your language. I removed the post with the Malphite games on the last page almost completely just because of the sheer amount of times you felt the need to swear and talk about champions being raped. I realise you're not being serious, but that sort of language is still not acceptable.

I could've honestly done the same with some of your other posts, but I don't feel it's necessary to be too much of a party pooper right now. The earlier Dr. Mundo post - the long one, that is - should be a good indication of what's acceptable (for the most part, anyway).

Good luck in your games! :)

Thanks to Hoppermh for the signature!
Toshabi
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Dear Wayne,


How thoughtless of me to go on about writing posts in the fashion that I do. Where on earth would I be if I didn't have you right by my side to moderate and correct the way I go about representing myself? I blame most of the anesthetic influences in my life from modern television shows and celebrities (and most of the League of Legends celebrities out there on youtube) for my poor lingo and way how I word things. They're the destructive beings that, quite possibly, spawn all the toxicity and poor representation that I generated here in my post. But who cares if this malice wasn't aimed at anyone or if it wasn't meant to be taken seriously? The fact of the matter is that there was doo doo language used on a MOBAfire thread. That is completely unacceptable. You never know when a Sally Sensitive will come along, browse MOBAfire, accidentially click on my ranked thread and be torn to pieces by the sheer amount of naughty words I use in my ranked game thread that their mommy told them not to use. And because of them chancing on this thread, their whole entire pure view of the MOBAfire image will be forever tarnished and sent into the black abyss of "doo doo website". It's comparable to sending an EU bloke to America blindfolded and having him walk down a road with it on, telling him to remove his blindfold when he feels ready. And by chance, that poor fool walked hundreds of miles from the coast and ended up in Detroit and forever brands the rest of the United States as the degenerate hell hole that is Detroit.




Again, thank you for being such an outstanding moderator to come in here and clean up my thread. You're like a beautiful Brazilian maid who loves to clean my house for free while occasionally stealing my personal belongings and throwing away all of my nice clothes because I purposely took a dump on the front porch just so I could watch her bend over.




Your biggest fan,



Toshabi
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So I got bored playing my smurf and decided "AYE! IM PERTY GOOD AT DIS HERE LEAGUE SHTUFF! LETS GO WIT DAY BIG GUNS"



Aka runes, champs, skins, ect. SKINTIMIDATION! It's kind of like that one movie "Warriors". You gotto have your representational thing put on (Like hats, clothing, tattoos, and obnoxiously long 80s hair). It's a real thing according to Reddit and various other websites run by chimpanzees. BUT HEY! WE's getting off track here. Let's get back onto the story that I'm going to force you all to believe.




SO HERE WE ARE on the main account. My other best buddies were like "AYEEEE TOSHABI/DISCORD/MR. BUDDY GUY, when you gonna do RANKED with us?" So I said NOW IS THE DAY and HOOOOLLLY SMOKE HERE I AM!



Let's get to it!




But that was the day ranked was lagging. Like REALLY! Apparently the servers had a major *****torm and we had 5 games where people on both teams went missing for 10-20 minutes. One game I was going to win, I went MIA from the LoL servers for a whole 5 MINUTES. And seeing how I'm Mr. Macho man with my mundo skin and all, and the rest of my team were pale old men, we ended up losing after we had a muchacho big lead. And ofcourse I got 50,000 reports. DAYUM! But hey, it was LOSS FORGIVEN, so all was cool yah?


WRONG!



5 games were lost like this due to the servers blowing up. So I'm just sitting here twiddling my **** on my 10th provisional game thinking "AYE! I got 5 more to do with this and I only lost 1 for real so YEHHHH". So I won my last game and it turns out Riot is like "You knooooooooooooooooooooooooooooow we don't have a good system in check for provisional matches to see if it were loss forgiven, so lets count it as a loss" and BOOM! SILVER ONE! The almighty golden Toshabi (I need to get my statue in the garden painted silver now) is now Silver.



1.




Silver 1




But hey that shouldn't matter, I'll be able to climb out yeah? Right? Right?





Well, that would be easy, if I didn't find this hilarious skin with a really stupid back animation that's so annoying and so hilarious that I HAD to have it.








So I'd agree to support since Morg pretty much sucks at everything she does. Except the stupid long snare, ****** strong ult (cc wise) and her ability to have a mini black king bar every 15 seconds.


(I WONDER WHERE THEY GOT THAT FROM)



but yeah. I spent the whole game doing my back animation. And it worked for the most part, because lucian would always run over to shoot me every time I exposed my breasts to the air as I floated away. And ofcourse, I'd go around and be like "BAM! GATCHA *****!" and snare him. And when Jinx would pay attention (probably 10% of the time), she'd point her oversized minigun at him and blast that snared loser to smitheroons! BLAM!





I took time out of my day to make this gif.












...... maybe I should open up a gif shop on MOBAfail.... Any who!





Our team didn't deserve to win this game, given how terrible they are at the game, but me and the Electrike carried nonetheless (Just look at how those scores contrast with our team). If it were a normal game, I would've thrown the game. But dems the breaks!




But yeah, morg is okay. I don't know WHY I got these items actually, but hey, it's 1 AM and I'm tired and I'm pretty sure everyone else was. But yeh, gimma like a week to get back to where I was before.








Also, remind me tomorrow that I have a product label design project due for my design class.
Toshabi
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This post is dedicated to my first gaming crush. *bluuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuush*



I remember meeting her over a year ago. It was a cold winter and I had forgotten my coat. I was at my usual coffee shop, ordering the usual drink from the usual waiter who spits in my usual drink with his usual saliva that will probably give me the usual case of mono. But something about the day was unusual. A usual day being unusual is quite.... well...... unusual. The ground quaked. Men cried. Women screamed. Kids ran in terror. Enter in from the back of the cafe, doors blowing off the hinges; Pig Lady Sejuani. Our eyes met and instantly we fell in love. Her desire to destroy and matched that of mine. Rather than being that fragile young lady who would sheepishly cross the crowds with utmost delicacy and awareness, she simply tore through the crowds, breaking tables and bodies as her piggy trampled 500 people to death (It was crowded today). She got off her war beast and looked at me.




We then made PG-13, MOBAfire approved sex on the mountain of corpses her entrance made. And it was pretty damn amazing. We went on date after date after date on summoner's rift, killing champion after champion, carefully stacking skull after skull on the very cafe we destroyed on our first meet. The weeks went on, then months, then,.... something happened.




I had received a letter in the mail from the Department of IRL that I was going to be called away from Summoner's Rift. I was torn, for you see, this would mean that my beloved princess of destruction would be torn forever from my grasp. When I would shatter a bone or spill the blood of my enemies, it would not be a doing of both of ours, but only of myself. I couldn't bare to face her to share this disastrous news, so I left silently, without giving her any mention. She would understand. She always has and always will.




She waited at our usual spot at the usual time we'd meet in her usual attire. She waited there every day, despite her not seeing her usual lover. She'd wait. And wait. And wait. When I would not come, she would go out on her daily killings, but would go and slaughter twice as many foe for her beloved lover. She waited.



waited.




and waited.





A year had passed, and I had come on home to Summoner's Rift. But she was not to be found at the usual place. She was not there. It was as though she had finally moved on.







Then her flail dug 15 inches into the back of my skull.








She rang me out like a soggy gym town and used me as her flail for 1 hour to signify the amount of pain I put her through. But as painful as it was, god help me, I love the girl and would've gladly gone for another hour. After she let out her frustration, we made love. The PG-13 kind. That MOBAfire would approve of. And maybe some select religions.





Then, we went out and slaughtered the masses in the name of Chaotic love.













Oh and special guest WaveDsh joined me for the game expectantly! Of course, I rigged the queue and stuck him with the ****tiest teammates in the world. I'll be playing with WaveDsh sometime in the future so we can continue to climb up together. Maybe we'll have a few rival matches, seeing how the league queue system can do that.




















I got a name change to match my duo queue buddy, Electrike.
jhoijhoi wrote:

Also, I think the levels of immorality in this thread are astounding. You'd really throw a child off a boat for your own luggage? Wow.





WaffleWarrior
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MY TEAM :(

Thanks for the amazing sigs Brynolf,JEFFY40HANDS, Katoki, and myself
koksei
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What's up with that lichbane on ur nida?

U seem to be the only 1 fed so splitpushing doesn't seem all too smart.


~ Sig by Xiaowiriamu ~
WaffleWarrior
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koksei wrote:

What's up with that lichbane on ur nida?

U seem to be the only 1 fed so splitpushing doesn't seem all too smart.


It adds to my damage and pushing capabilities. I was able to 1v1 the fiora and ez. It would have also allowed us to push to a win if we had the opportunity. For some reason, my team wanted to base race leaving thresh and me behind to defend despite the many pings.

Thanks for the amazing sigs Brynolf,JEFFY40HANDS, Katoki, and myself

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