Free RP :)

[quote=Vapora Dark]Keondre, just gonna say, after you explained your joke and I finally got it, I found it funny. :)[/quote]

[quote=Werepirelord]I think this one is really funny, but I don't think this is gonna beat any of the things you posted: A tall man walks into a bar and sees a small man crying in front of his beer. The tall guy grabs his beer and drinks it in one gulp and then asks the tiny man why he is crying. He responds:This is the worst day of my life, first I lose my job, then my wife leaves me and my house burns down and now you drink out the beer in which I put poison in to end my life![/quote]

[quote=Clu Gulager]So I was blow drying my nuts the other day and my wife walks in and asks what I am doing. Apparently heating up your dinner was the wrong answer.[/quote]

[quote=Krisys]3 students, an American, a Mexican, and one from Japan living in NYC decided to go to the empire state building before the end of the school year to celebrate their time together. They each brought an item from their country to toss off it. The student from Japan brought a throwing star and flung it as hard as he could off it. The student from Mexico brought a knife and tossed his as well. The American student brought a bomb and heaved it over the edge. They each then parted ways and headed back to their homes. The student from Japan came home, lots of cars there, family crying. Student's Dad said, "Your mother was killed, a throwing star, fell from the sky and killed her." The student from Mexico came home, his dad is in handcuffs being put into a police car. Cops say that the parents had a fight and his Mom was stabbed with a knife, Dad contests and denies it. American student comes home to see his Dad laying on the ground in the distance, fire trucks, police, big scene. American kid goes up to his dad to check to see if he's ok. Seems to be alright, and he's laying there laughing. American student asks what's going on. Dad says, "I farted and the neighbors house blew up!"[/quote]

[quote=Anastasios]Three guys, Jack, George, and Jim, are on a plane flying over the ocean. Suddently, the plane starts falling, and everyone is sure to die, when Death appears out of nowhere and stops time. Then, he turns to the three, and says: Hey guys, I'm Death, and since I'm feeling kinda merciful today, we will play a game for your lives. Each one of you is going to toss an item in the ocean, and if i find it withing 10 minutes, i will take your soul. So first goes Jack. He tosses a button from his shirt in the ocean, turns to Death and says "Good luck finding that!". Death dives in, and within 2 minutes, he comes back up with the button. Secong goes George. He turns his back to Death and sneakily tosses out a tiny thread from him clothes. After 8 minutes, Death comes back again with the thread. Now Jim is the last one left, so he just walks up and throws something out, and Death dives in to find it. The 10 minutes pass, and Death still hasn't come out. Half an hour passes, still nothing. Eventually, adter 2 hours in the ocean, Death comes back up and says to Jim "Okay man, you win. I will let you live. Just tell me, what the hell did you throw in there?" So Jim looks at him and says "An effervescent tablet!"[/quote]

[quote=Mintleaves][quote=Clu Gulager] So I was blow drying my nuts the other day and my wife walks in and asks what I am doing. Apparently heating up your dinner was the wrong answer. [/quote] IMO beats all of yours. <3[/quote]

[quote=NicknameMy]My Profession!!! You know, now that I think about it I always wanted to be a baker. Ups, stolen from [[Pantheon]].[/quote]

[quote=Rein517]An Asian family sat down at the dinner table, Little Johnny asked "Mom, can I have a dog for Christmas?" The mother replied, "No, you can have ham just like everyone else."[/quote]

[quote=Krisys]The eighty year old millionaire married an eighteen year old country girl. He was quite content, but after a few weeks she told him that she was going to leave him if she didn't get some loving real soon. He had his chauffeured limousine take him to a high-priced specialist who studied him and then gave him a shot of spermatozoa. "Now look," the doctor said, "the only way you're going to get it up is to say "beep," and then to get it soft again, you say, "beep, beep." "How marvelous," the old man said. "Yes, but I must warn you," the doctor said," it's only going to work three times before you die." On his way home, the man decided he wasn't going to live through three of them anyway, so he decided to waste one trying it out. "Beep!" he said. Immediately he was UP. Satisfied, he said, "beep, beep," and he was down again. He chuckled with delight and anticipation. At that moment, a little yellow Volkswagen pulled past his limousine and went "beep," and the car in the opposite lane responded with "beep beep." Alert to his jeopardy, the old man instructed his chauffeur to "speed it up." He raced into the house as fast as he could for his last great lay. "Honey," he shouted at her, "don't ask questions. Just drop your clothes and hope into bed." Caught up in his excitement, she did. He undressed nervously and hurried in after her. Just as he was climbing into bed, he said, "beep," and he was UP. He was just starting to enter his young wife when she said,"What's all this "beep beep" shit?"[/quote]

[quote=SkullzX][quote=Keondre] Lol Skull, that lying little lady. rofl, made me chuckle xD [/quote] thanks, I know a lot of anti jokes but, decided not to post because well most people will think they are to rude... example: how do you make a plumber cry? Murder his family. how did sussy fall off the swing? I pushed her! those are some of the more towned down once that I know XD so you could imagine how mean the good ones are XD.[/quote]