Free RP :)

[quote=Toshabi]Alright *pops knuckles* SO I went down to my friends place yesterday to say hello and GOSH you won't believe what I had to go through to get there. So so so get this, there was like this really annoying person driving in front of me, right? He had this really beat up ugly stupid car that was really old, one of those clunkers you call him. Anyways, where was I again? Oh yeah, so my friends house. Oh that guy, wait let me start over again! Okay, so this guy was driving in this stupid looking car and he pulls up to the side of me, rolls down his window and asks "Hey, why in the world is your head sh-" AND BAM! HE GETS F******ING HIT IN THE BACK BY SOME DIPSH** IN A TRUCK! I MEAN! DAMN! RIGHT IN THE BACK! His head hit his steering wheel and he sort of looked all dazed out and stuff. It was a bad thing that his airbag didn't go off, because now he went and broke his nice steering wheel (which was probably the only good thing in his car to be honest). I kind of lost track where I was going with this because my friend messaged me on steam with some questions. WHAT?! Don't believe me? Here, watch as I give him misguided info as the terrible league of legends player that I am: Never tell your password to anyone. Wednesday, August 01, 2012 10:42 PM - ϟCheerileeϟ: Random question but 10:42 PM - ϟCheerileeϟ: What would you build on Anivia? 10:44 PM - Discord: Warmogs 10:44 PM - Discord: after death cap 10:44 PM - Discord: or before 10:44 PM - Discord: either or, warmogs 10:44 PM - ϟCheerileeϟ: Really? 10:45 PM - Discord: warmogs, death cap, void staff, rod of ages, sorc/merc boots, and a choice between guardians angel or a zhonia's hourglass 10:45 PM - Discord: why a warmogs is because it'll make you tanky when you revert to an egg 10:45 PM - ϟCheerileeϟ: Yeha, that's what I thought 10:45 PM - Discord: the longerr that egg takes to kill, the better distraction it is for a team fight 10:45 PM - ϟCheerileeϟ: True 10:45 PM - ϟCheerileeϟ: So no Unholy Grail? 10:45 PM - Discord: have at it 10:45 PM - Discord: you can 10:45 PM - ϟCheerileeϟ: Or Chalice 10:45 PM - Discord: but rod of ages usually fixes your mana problems 10:45 PM - ϟCheerileeϟ: Ah, okay 10:45 PM - Discord: if your jungler is nice and is giving you blue buff, go for a rod of ages 10:46 PM - Discord: if not, you can go for it over RoA 10:46 PM - Discord: but i prefer RoA tbh 10:46 PM - ϟCheerileeϟ: Yeah 10:46 PM - ϟCheerileeϟ: The levelling up usually keeps it sustainable 10:46 PM - ϟCheerileeϟ: So my opening items should be Catalyst + Sorc/Merc? 10:46 PM - Discord: Yeah. It all depends on who you're laning against 10:47 PM - Discord: but to be honest, anivia kind of kicks the shit out of everyone thanks to her egg. Unless they get the jump on you, you can pretty much farm and punish them with your R/Q+E if they get close enough. Just make sure you can land your Q with the double hit to do TONS OF DAMAGE 10:47 PM - ϟCheerileeϟ: Yep 10:47 PM - ϟCheerileeϟ: TONS OF DAMAGE 10:47 PM - Discord: Now go forth and make me proud. Also, please don't hate me but I'm including this in a MOBAfail post. 10:48 PM - Discord: I was writing a story 10:48 PM - Discord: and you kind of distracted me 10:48 PM - Discord: and I lost my train of thought 10:48 PM - Discord: so now i gotto start all over 10:48 PM - Discord: but instead 10:48 PM - Discord: imma keep what i had 10:48 PM - Discord: and include this in the post 10:48 PM - Discord: It adds to the content 10:48 PM - Discord: smile for the MOBAfailians of mobafail 10:48 PM - Discord: :D 10:48 PM - ϟCheerileeϟ: Okaaaaaay. 10:48 PM - Discord: ....... yeah. Anyways where was I.... Oh yeah! He was making fun of my head. MY HEAD! OUT OF ALL THE THINGS HE COULD MAKE FUN OF, WHY WOULD HE MAKE FUN OF MY HEAD! I know where he was getting to too, JUST BECAUSE I LOOK LIKE ME AND NOT LIKE EVERYONE ELSE MEANS I GOT A PROBLEM, RIGHT?! Either or, he was too caught up with eating his steering wheel to even tell me what he was going to say, so I just drove on ahead without a care in the world. Anyways uh... wait what was this story about again... uh.. wait let me try this again. Okay so me and potatis were inside of a premade today with Wrath and Yukimaru (IM HIS BIGGEST FAN!!!!) when me and potatis decided to go [[leona]] and [[sejuani]] bot (OMG! MOBA BBCODE!). So Yukimaru (my main man) was like "DUUUUDE TOSHABI AND POTATIS DOING TEH TROLLS! SO GOOD!" but he said it in kind of an amused german 'yes' way. Wrath, on the otherhand, was like "WHAT?! NO! THIS IS TROLL! OUR TEAM IS [[irelia]] [[leona]] (WHO WENT AD OH MY FUCKING GOD) [[master yi]] (WHO WENT AP OH MY LORD) [[zyra]] and [[sejuani]] AND WE DONT EVEN HAVE AJ UNGLER! GRAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH WE GONNA LOSE GG LETS QUIT!" and me and potatis were like "DUUUUUUUDE WE GOT THIS >:[" So like 5 minutes in me and potatis are just DEMOLISHING BOT LANE. Like, they had no idea what they were doing against us. I forgot what they had, but it was like (oh yeah, a [[corki]] and a uh......[[I forgot the name of this champion]]. But yeah. Me and Potatis pretty much owned. WE OWNEDDDDD HAAAAAAAAARRRRRRRDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDD. Oh yeah! I remember now, it was an [[alistar]]. I swear, remembering champion names is like trying to remember pokemon. Speaking of which, I got that game pokemon conquest. It's alright, but it really isn't much of anything like Final Fantasy Tactics. Has anyone even played final fantasy tactics in here before? Didn't think so. It was an okay game too... wait... So if pokemon conquest is an okay version of ff tactics..... what does that make it...? Ugh... oh well, I enjoyed it. >:/ Oh yeah back to uh... yeah, don't you remember when there was only 150 pokemon? Not including mew, because that little f*****r didn't come out till the movie came out. OH MY GOD DID THAT MOVIE SUUUUUUUUUCKED. I went to it just for the promo card. I actually had pretty high expectations for it, but oh my god, my parents loved it more then I did. I actually was the only disatisfied kid to come out of that movie theater and I had a LIST of problems with that movie. The backstory was flawed, Mewtwo was a f******* p&&&& and to top it off THE STUPID RETARDED CLICHE POKEMON TEARS BULL SH**! I SWEAR I WANTED THAT LITTLE F****** ASH TO DIE! I WANTED THEM TO CONTINUE OFF THE JAPANESE MANGA ADAPTATION (actually, I didn't know that existed until like..... years later... but uh, just assume I wanted a new main character) EVEN THEN! COME OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOON! THE WHOLE ENTIRE MOVIE WAS A BLOODY JOKE! Oh well, I thought it was just dumb how the pokemon who wants to destroy all mankind gets all QQ over blasting some little 13 year old f*** who RAN IN THE MIDDLE OF A FIGHT. Ash got what he deserved and I'm glad he got turned to stone. In fact, I kind of wish he stayed like that forever. >:[ Woah, I kind of sidetracked there a bit, anyways, back on topic. Yeah about that uh... wait did I not finish that league game? Oh yeah! So me and potatis were owning and were REALLLY OWNING HARD. You would not BELIEVE the amount of damage that AD [[leona]] does. I'm totally making a normal queue NOT ranked material guide for AD [[leona]] because it's just soooo muuuuuuch fuuuuuuuuuuun. Have I mentioned how I enjoy the smurf meta over the tryhard meta? That match was evidence of that. So anyways, wrath was all like "OH MAH GOD! AD [[LEONA]] AND POTATIS AND YUKI ARE MY F******G HEROES!" and then he praised us. But then,..... OUR PUGGY [[irelia]] WAS LIKE "IMMA GO THROUGH THE JUNGLE AND HYAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA I GOT STABBED BY MY OWN FLOATING SWORDS! SEPOKUUUUUU (or whatever that japanese suicide word means.... yeah i think that's what it is. Either or, I'm not googling it). SO she got caught.... alot. And the wrath was like "OH MY GAWD WE GONNNA LOSE CAUSE WE GOT A FEEDER AND WE DONT TEAM FIGHT AND AD [[LEONA]] DIES TOO FA-" suddenly, i DEMOLISH CORKI BOT and it was literally like [[leona]] (Me): >:CCCCCCCC [[corki]]: *KERPOW A BLAM* [[Zyra]] (Wrath): :OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO I still don't get why urf blows up when corki dies with that skin. I wonder if they plan to bring back urf back as a robot... NO! WHAT IF URF IS A TERMINATOR! Dude..... I can totally see another terminator film coming out where Arnold Schwartzagermanorwhateverhisnameis teams up with Riot to create a super killing manatee and they have to stop Windows from launching their new OS which will doom all online gaming! It could make for a good movie and people who do go will get a free urf skin or plush or something.... could be cool I guess.... Oh wait.. where was I again? Oh yeah! The game! Well, I should cut to the chase and just say that I pretty much owned. Wrath was like "OH MY GOD YOU GUYS ARE AMAZING AND I LOVE YOU AND IM GOING TO NAME MY KID AFTE RYOU TOSHABI" And I'm like "That's cool man! Here, let me sign that kid for you when your future waifu pops him/her out of herself." then the conversation got kind of awkward. Then we started talking about Ikea pony.... Have I ever mentioned that I have a crush on Ikea pony? Everyone assumes I like twilight sparkle due to the signature and all, but Ikea pony.... man, that's a fine pony that I'd like to wrap around my finger and vice versa if you know what I mean (it's an old marriage term, nothing sexual you stupid perverts >:[). I mean, just the other week, I went to an Ikea looking around for a new mattress for my new apartment when I saw her working her shift at my local Ikea. I actually HAD the guts to go over and talk to Ikea pony. It was sort of like a dream almost,.... her head focused on her clip board, her hooves doing the physically impossible by holding onto a clip board, her mouth firmly gripping that pencil....... by celestia's name, I swear that such a hard working gal needs a guy like me to fantasize about her..... And I did actually! Without knowing, I was staring at her with those weird googly eyes that those weird anime freaks have on when they're having perverted fantasies about some girl..... not saying that I was. I'm not that kind of guy! Our conversation began with a, "........can I help you...?". Oh god.... it felt like I was being put on the spot. My heart racing.... people stopping what they were doing to gather around and watch me. just like that, the moment was on.... the time was right. Her attention was focused on me and everyone was viewing a chance of a life time! ".... Pia Ikea......" I said as I glanced over into her eyes "....will you....". I couldn't say it! MY MOUTH! IT WAS DRY! My lips were crumbling and suffering from the BURNING sensation of chappness! I HAD CHAPPED LIPS! WHY CELESTIA OH WHY OH WHY MUST I HAVE CHAPPED LIPS NOW! GIRLS DON'T FIND CHAPPED LIPS SEXY! She looked at me, concerned and just about ready to call security, I finally burst out with what I wanted to say, "WILL YOU DELIVER THIS MATTRESS TO MY APARTMENT AND HELP ME SET IT UP!?". Everyone froze in awe, for I did what no man thought was possible. I finally got Pia Ikia (THE Ikea pony) to do a house call.... for ME! She turned around and reached into her bag, pulling out a long white slip with the package number, HER phone number and a employee photo of her. "I'll be there this Saturday at 6. I normally get off at 5, but lets just say this is a special occasion". I COULDN'T BELIEVE IT! I DID IT! WOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOHO-.... oh.... uh... but yeah... moving on.. I uh, ordered that mattress... .and uh yeah. I was suppose to uh... OH YEAH! THE ORIGINAL STORY! Yeah, I accidentally hit my friends car when I pulled up in his drive way, now I got to work overtime this week just to be able to help him pay it off. Now that I mention it, that's not a really funny story, but hey most people take delight in other peoples pain so I guess if you're sadistic, you might find the fact that I have a 500 dollar car bill to pay funny. Right? =/ Oh well. I'm expecting company this Saturday, don't you DARE message me until Sunday. >:^[ Oh yeah, punchline uh.... yeah, my life. ^[/quote]

[quote=Xeronn]A woman gets on a bus with her baby. The bus driver says: ''Ugh, that's the ugliest baby I've ever seen!'' The woman walks to the rear of the bus and sits down, fuming. She says to a man next to her: ''The driver just insulted me!'' The man says: ''You go up there and tell him off. Go on, I'll hold your monkey for you.'' [b]2nd one[/b] Dyslexic man walks into a bra[/quote]

[quote=Phil Collins]When Udyr masturbates, is it considered bestiality? EDIT: Yo mama so ugly Rammus said no.[/quote]

[quote=Keondre][quote=tehAsian] But the OP is looking for funny jokes >.> [/quote] Do you see the word "funny" in the OP?[/quote]

[quote=DuskToGlory]Unfortunately you can't win a joke contest with a joke that isn't funny, I certainly don't see unfunny in the OP either.[/quote]

[quote=Phil Collins]OP merely said "Best jokes".[/quote]

[quote=IxieSorrow]Two bored casino dealers are waiting at the crap table. A very attractive blonde woman arrived and bet twenty thousand dollars ($20,000) on a single roll of the dice. She said, "I hope you don't mind, but I feel much luckier when I'm completely nude." With that, she stripped from the neck down, rolled the dice and yelled, "Come on, baby, Mama needs new clothes!" As the dice came to a stop she jumped up and down and squealed... "YES! YES! I WON, I WON!" She hugged each of the dealers and then picked up her winnings and her clothes and quickly departed... The dealers stared at each other dumbfounded. Finally, one of them asked, "What did she roll?" The other answered, "I don't know - I thought you were watching." ------------------------------- A Rabbi walks into a bar with a frog on his shoulder, bartender says, "Where'd you get him?"..and the frog says "It started off as a wart on my ass and now look at it"[/quote]

[quote=Keondre][quote=DuskToGlory] Unfortunately you can't win a joke contest with a joke that isn't funny, I certainly don't see unfunny in the OP either. [/quote] The OP said "post/joke".[/quote]

[quote=tehAsian]That's true. o_o[/quote]

[quote=jhoijhoi]Tosh wtf o.o[/quote]