"I sexually Identify as an Attack Helicopter. Ever since I was a boy I dreamed of soaring over the oilfields dropping hot sticky loads on disgusting foreigners. People say to me that a person being a helicopter is Impossible and Iâ€™m ****ing ******ed but I donâ€™t care, Iâ€™m beautiful. Iâ€™m having a plastic surgeon install rotary blades, 30 mm cannons and AMG-114 Hellfire missiles on my body. From now on I want you guys to call me â€œApacheâ€ and respect my right to kill from above and kill needlessly. If you canâ€™t accept me youâ€™re a heliphobe and need to check your vehicle privilege. Thank you for being so understanding." - Guuse
"uh, I identify as counterstrike and I find this globally offensiveï»¿" - ???