Searz wrote:
Loads of problems can be solved by just being honest/blunt. If a few feelings get hurt along the way, so be it.
If I insult myself I'm definitely proving you're right about me, even if I believe whatever insulting thing I've said and any compliments given in response only make me uncomfortable. If I show a rare display of self-confidence, I'm clearly doing the same thing somehow....so might as well just not do either thing, since if I do I'll just have to listen to more of this ****.
Ah, but fair maiden, I can assure you he is not so shallow as to give baseless criticism.
There was a very good reason for his bluntness, and that was that, well, it made you look bad.
Before you antagonise me like the rest, please do hear me out.
What you must remember is that on the internet, the MobaFire community is more than just those in the MobaFire community. It is a public site, where people join and view these very forums by the day. Say I was an aspiring forum-goer who wished to interact with the friendly people of MobaFire. I wish to come here to this thread to get an idea of who the people I will be interacting with in the future are. Had I been someone new and still unacquainted with the people here as well as the relationships between people, then you definitely would have been mistaken for a self-conscious girl that was fishing for attention. Of course, as someone who has observed for a time span slightly longer than an hour, I very much know this is not the case, and you are in fact a very respected veteran of the site.
Yet, first impressions still have a much heavier impact on your experience with someone than you think. This view of you being an attention-***** of a girl (remember, purely hypothetically) will have impacted all the view this one person would have had on you. In fact, had you been so impulsive and careless to post the same image on a much more public space, then you would have definitely received more of the criticism that has been given to you, as even in such a tight-knit community such as MobaFire, you were criticised.
Remember that there very much is a difference between constructive and baseless criticism. I can't say I speak for Searz, but I can tell from my own observations that there very much was a potential issue that could have arisen from the image. While here, the vast majority are fine, there was still one person that saw it differently. There are more people than those that speak, and their image of you could have been based on this one instance had it been a first interaction.
Sadly, this is the behaviour of society. There are oversimplified portrayal of specific things that exist, and you need to be wary that you do fall under the one of "self-conscious girl that fishes for compliments" to some, simply because you're a girl on the internet. Of course, from previous observations, you are more than aware of this, so I need not elaborate further.
The main point is that people generally do not care for criticism with no truth, nor will they criticise if there were no potential issue unless they're a special kind of *******. From previous discussion, Searz is intelligent and does not criticise things if there were no issue. The fact that you were still offended by such a remark means that you do know that there might have been some truth in the words, otherwise such remarks would have been regarded as completely unjustified and therefore invalid, meaning that no offense would be taken.
There was a very good reason for his bluntness, and that was that, well, it made you look bad.
Before you antagonise me like the rest, please do hear me out.
What you must remember is that on the internet, the MobaFire community is more than just those in the MobaFire community. It is a public site, where people join and view these very forums by the day. Say I was an aspiring forum-goer who wished to interact with the friendly people of MobaFire. I wish to come here to this thread to get an idea of who the people I will be interacting with in the future are. Had I been someone new and still unacquainted with the people here as well as the relationships between people, then you definitely would have been mistaken for a self-conscious girl that was fishing for attention. Of course, as someone who has observed for a time span slightly longer than an hour, I very much know this is not the case, and you are in fact a very respected veteran of the site.
Yet, first impressions still have a much heavier impact on your experience with someone than you think. This view of you being an attention-***** of a girl (remember, purely hypothetically) will have impacted all the view this one person would have had on you. In fact, had you been so impulsive and careless to post the same image on a much more public space, then you would have definitely received more of the criticism that has been given to you, as even in such a tight-knit community such as MobaFire, you were criticised.
Remember that there very much is a difference between constructive and baseless criticism. I can't say I speak for Searz, but I can tell from my own observations that there very much was a potential issue that could have arisen from the image. While here, the vast majority are fine, there was still one person that saw it differently. There are more people than those that speak, and their image of you could have been based on this one instance had it been a first interaction.
Sadly, this is the behaviour of society. There are oversimplified portrayal of specific things that exist, and you need to be wary that you do fall under the one of "self-conscious girl that fishes for compliments" to some, simply because you're a girl on the internet. Of course, from previous observations, you are more than aware of this, so I need not elaborate further.
The main point is that people generally do not care for criticism with no truth, nor will they criticise if there were no potential issue unless they're a special kind of *******. From previous discussion, Searz is intelligent and does not criticise things if there were no issue. The fact that you were still offended by such a remark means that you do know that there might have been some truth in the words, otherwise such remarks would have been regarded as completely unjustified and therefore invalid, meaning that no offense would be taken.
You seem to be mistaken as to the difference between "baseless" and "serving no real purpose".
I didn't say he had no reason to believe it might be the case, I said whether there is reason to believe it's true or not there was no reason to say it given that the thread in question basically encourages the kind of behavior we're discussing.
And actually, no, it's far more likely a person would be insulted by multiple people saying/implying something completely untrue about them purely because of some ridiculous stereotype about their gender's behavior on the internet.
I didn't say he had no reason to believe it might be the case, I said whether there is reason to believe it's true or not there was no reason to say it given that the thread in question basically encourages the kind of behavior we're discussing.
And actually, no, it's far more likely a person would be insulted by multiple people saying/implying something completely untrue about them purely because of some ridiculous stereotype about their gender's behavior on the internet.
Perhaps the underlying message was a bit cloudy in my wall of text, but I like to think he said it because it made you look bad, and not because he's an ***. Do note that the thread encourages that you post a picture of your face so we can associate your online persona to a face, not post images so we can evaluate your attractiveness. In an environment where the aim is to get to know each other better, asking people to comment on a dress might seem a little self-centered to some.
Perhaps I simply was mistaken as to how people react to stereotypes. Pardon me for generalising based on my own opinions on issues.
Perhaps I simply was mistaken as to how people react to stereotypes. Pardon me for generalising based on my own opinions on issues.
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Imma 'bout to end this man's whole career My rather unimpressive and slowly growing anime list! Currently watching:
Nisekoi: False Love |
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I didn't ask anyone to evaluate my attractiveness. I asked them to evaluate the garment. Now that was perhaps a bit too much to ask and I probably wasn't as specific as I could have been, but that difference should be noted since you're making claims about what I was trying to do without knowing what my actual intent was (which does matter, given that only a small percentage of people involved in this discussion seem to have taken it that way).
There's still no reason to make me look bad over a photo posted in some thread in the off-topic subforum. If I'd said something stupid about league, he'd be completely justified in making me look like an idiot. He also makes a habit of being rude to me when other people have done/said similar things, in a thread, that he has entirely ignored, so forgive me if I've started to get tired of that.
There's still no reason to make me look bad over a photo posted in some thread in the off-topic subforum. If I'd said something stupid about league, he'd be completely justified in making me look like an idiot. He also makes a habit of being rude to me when other people have done/said similar things, in a thread, that he has entirely ignored, so forgive me if I've started to get tired of that.
The_Nameless_Bard wrote:
I didn't ask anyone to evaluate my attractiveness. I asked them to evaluate the garment. Now that was perhaps a bit too much to ask and I probably wasn't as specific as I could have been, but that difference should be noted since you're making claims about what I was trying to do without knowing what my actual intent was (which does matter, given that only a small percentage of people involved in this discussion seem to have taken it that way).
There's still no reason to make me look bad over a photo posted in some thread in the off-topic subforum. If I'd said something stupid about league, he'd be completely justified in making me look like an idiot. He also makes a habit of being rude to me when other people have done/said similar things, in a thread, that he has entirely ignored, so forgive me if I've started to get tired of that.
There's still no reason to make me look bad over a photo posted in some thread in the off-topic subforum. If I'd said something stupid about league, he'd be completely justified in making me look like an idiot. He also makes a habit of being rude to me when other people have done/said similar things, in a thread, that he has entirely ignored, so forgive me if I've started to get tired of that.
I'm unaware of any other grudges he has towards you, and I won't try to act like I do, so I'll avoid that for the time being.
If we were to evaluate the garment, then you would have just posted an image of the garment. Instead, you posted an image of the garment on you, showing your figure. Perhaps this is just an interpretation error, but "What do you think of my new dress?" generally implies that you care about the dress on you, since the garment by itself is lessened in value unless it's worn.
Your intent can be vastly different to how people interpret what you've written. You may have had sound intentions, but once again, seeing something like that makes you seem like you do wish for compliments. While I have no issue in people finding confidence in something if that's what you were aiming for, it can still seem like you're seeking attention.
There's little to no point in posting a picture of an unworn dress. Also, it would be somewhat off-topic to post a picture of a dress by itself, given that this is faces to names not "post random pictures of clothing and ask people what they think" to names. Admittedly my face was somewhat cut off, but that was mostly because I felt uncomfortable with the way my skin looks currently and it's my choice anyways.
My point with mentioning intent is that, given the responses that were posted, the vast majority of people did NOT take my comment to mean what you're saying it could mean. Fair or not, that implies the post does not give most people the impression you are claiming it could give.
My point with mentioning intent is that, given the responses that were posted, the vast majority of people did NOT take my comment to mean what you're saying it could mean. Fair or not, that implies the post does not give most people the impression you are claiming it could give.
The_Nameless_Bard wrote:
There's little to no point in posting a picture of an unworn dress. Also, it would be somewhat off-topic to post a picture of a dress by itself, given that this is faces to names not "post random pictures of clothing and ask people what they think" to names. Admittedly my face was somewhat cut off, but that was mostly because I felt uncomfortable with the way my skin looks currently and it's my choice anyways.
My point with mentioning intent is that, given the responses that were posted, the vast majority of people did NOT take my comment to mean what you're saying it could mean. Fair or not, that implies the post does not give most people the impression you are claiming it could give.
My point with mentioning intent is that, given the responses that were posted, the vast majority of people did NOT take my comment to mean what you're saying it could mean. Fair or not, that implies the post does not give most people the impression you are claiming it could give.
Because they know you. I mean, so does Searz. Once again, if I were someone unaware of the relationship between you and other MobaFire members, then it would have been a simple scenario of a girl asking for attention, with a band of mindless desperate guys following.
(Once again, I would like to reiterate that that is not what I think of you before I'm accused of insulting someone, I'm just speaking hypothetically)
EDIT: Formatting issues
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PS You look gorgeous in that dress by the way.