Always start Dorans ring. End of story. Then buy 1 health pot. There. Get it? Got it? GOOD!

Ok, being a Teemo main takes lots of skill.(JK) In order to stomp toplane, you first need to get level 1 in your E ability, Toxic Shot. Early in the game, if the enemy has a melee champion toplane, you want to auto attack them as much as possible. I mean lots. If they try to kill one of your minions, auto attack them. If they ever try to even farm, auto them. Be safe about it though. If they try to cs at all, make their life a living hell. Level 2, you get Q. Easy to remember. Now, when they cs, auto attack them, Q, Then auto again to proc Thunderlords Decree and do about half of their health in damage. Level 3, you get E. Again, remember the rhymes. This will give insane amounts of harass, so keep going with the current strategy. At level 4, you can either go for Q, or W, depending if the enemy laner is a wee bit scary. Level 5, get E. Yes, no more rhymes. At level 6, here's where the fun starts. Place these hot potatoes anywhere that you please, but mostly in pathways through the jungle, and top bush at river for vision of incoming ganks. You can also use this to clear minion waves incredibly quickly.

As midgame progresses, you want to place mushrooms all around the map. You also should have completed Nashors Tooth, and are working towards Lichbane. Heres the trick. Kill as many minions as possible. Farm like a madman, get lots of gold, them boom. EZ GAME EZ LIFE

Roam around the map as much as possible, placing mushrooms and taking objectives with your team. If there are any squishy targets on their team, 1 shot them. Keep getting money, get more items, and boom. You are now ready for the final step. Split pushing. Teemo is useless in teamfights, but he does have very good waveclear. Go botlane while your team is in a teamfight. When you are there, put mushrooms on every possible path the enemy can take to stop you. Push waves, destroy towers, and BOOM! You will win the game.

If you build Teemo like I taught you, you will have Nightblue3 worthy stats, as in 1000 AP 1 SHOT MY PARENTS LEFT ME AFTER THIS ONE! 1 shot everybody you see and take down towers. If you are taking down a tower, Q a minion, and proc Lichbane on the tower, nearly destroyed it instantly. Take objectives, be a *****, split push, be a *****, win the game, LIKE A *****! If you follow this guide I guarentee that you will win more games with Teemo, or just in general. Have fun 1 shoting people, and peace out!