Caitlyn Humor Guide by caucheka
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Not Updated For Current Season
The masteries shown here are not yet updated for the current season, the guide author needs to set up the new masteries. As such, they will be different than the masteries you see in-game.
The Descent into Madness
oh god, i said i would stop doing this. why oh dear god why can't i? i mean i was doing so well, the therapy was going great, but then some chick with nice legs and a big gun (you can't milk those) comes into my life, this life i love.. in a brotherly sort of way. i want to keep the relationship professional.
****in satellites getting in your heads with cell phones and their magnetism.
ok so yet again we are greeted with a champion who seems interesting, then when it finally comes out we are left completely lacklustered at this.. willy wonka prostitute.
but unlike some other high class *****, she charges $2.75 a minute. who the **** charges $2.95 per minute?
i swear to god if anyone got that joke i will kill myself. doubles get.
Letters (of Recommendation)
ok so, alphabets used to be written with runes. my god.
can you believe people might have used the greater glyph of alacrity as the letter Q? i'm having troubles just trying to wrap my mind around it.
while we're talking about letters, notice how they made a letter that was 2 u's and it became w? but when they made a letter that was 2 n's it became m?
getting back on track now. as a shirrif, i think she'll need those marks of alacrity. shirrifs have to be really smart to catch those prisoners right? so thats why you should take them dam-fangled new jiggabits of intelligence. and lastly i couldn't find quints of justice so i went with rape jokes and took quints of force.
Talents, i mean Master Yi's
i could talk about this all day. but i'll spare everyones time with a story about a bridge.
sorry i fell asleep for about an hour there. no seriously. then i remembered about the awesome i was writing so i decided to continue. or maybe i decided to just rush through the rest of this guide with ****.
i'll let the reader decide in the worst choose your adventure written ever.
ok so i'm back on track now. masteries are kinda different this time, with 18/8/4, taking points in several improved summoner skills because i hack and can switch out any summoner spell at any time. its also really nice because it erases any traces of the summoner spells i used to have, ie if i loose flash it'll remove all the things i did with flash from everything. yet here i am.
am i cool now? i bought hats for everyone here. are you happy now gaben?
What goes in da purse.
does she even have a purse? i don't think she has much room inside her gun to store the items she bought. (i swear i almost left it as bot.)
i guess she could keep it in her hat, but who would keep a sharp weapon inside a hat? certainly not anyone who was afraid of getting stabbed in the head.
regardless of where she sticks the items she buys (i'll give you a hint, it starts with b- and rhymes with ****) she still has a lot of shopping to do.
start off with a pair of shoes, every girls weakness, but don't buy her that doran's ring.. you don't want that kind of commitment. but then upgrade those boots to the cdr boots because they look cool. actually they look like sandals...
so buy cutting big holes in your boots to make them sandals, not only does that cost 900 gold but it increases your move speed and gives you cdr? that don't make sense.
but we aren't here making cents, we're making gold. is it just me or is it coincidental that the best place to find gold is from the natives who havn't heard the word of jesus christ?
after that, the best thing to buy a woman with a sniper rifle is axes. don't question it, just buy her several axes. she'll squeal with delight. (but thats not the only reason that shes squealing. wink wink nudge nudge.)
skills to pay the mortgage.
also cupcakes. because those traps have cupcakes in them.
lemme just stop and ask you a question here. lets say you're a supervillain, and you just robbed a bunch of money from a bank in piltover. and as you're running, you stop and noticed a trap with a cupcake in the middle. you're hungry and it looks so delicious.
now my question to you, do these jeans make my *** look big? i mean theres so many cupcakes laying around recently and i can't help but eat every single one. the other day they called me lieutenant muffin top when that is totally not my villain name. i am lieutenant sarcasm, arch nemesis to captain obvious, thank you very much.
ok so skillwise you don't really want a max a skill first, but kinda take even amounts of points into each one. (i know thats impossible with the ult but just go with it.)
all of her skills are pretty cool even the muffins. err cupcakes sorry. because cupcakes.
oh and those ****ers who say 'the cupcake is a lie XD LOL' should go and die in a fire. yes we've heard the joke 5 quadrillion times since portal came out.