I: Introduction

To start, there are plenty of different ways to play each hero, and you have to find the right hero/build for your own playstyle. If you play aggresive and with little to no reservation, this is the Cho'Gath for you. This is not A Cho'Gath. This is not "rack up kills and runaway" Cho'Gath. This is not AP Cho'Gath. This is the MFing Cho'Gath. You wont be a carry, and you probably wont even have the best KD. You will however cause the enemy team to **** their pants repeatedly and more likely than not win the game.

Runes and masteries should, in short, lean towards being as difficult to kill as possible, with cooldown reduction coming secondary, and AP left to the sidelines. (That means ignore it you ignorant ****)

Don't worry too much about it, to be honest, whatever you have set already for a melee character will probably do just fine.

If you're playing the MFing Cho'Gath, it's good to pick out your teams carry and make nicey nice. You have the power to force feed them kills all game. You can fit the MFing Cho'Gath into any team set up, but he really shines when he's the only fat ******* kicking around.

Summoner spells to love:
Teleport: Everyone loves teleport. Mid-Late game you will be running around causing fear and feasting on the lamentations of the enemies women.
Ghost: A sometimes skill. The only thing scarier than the MFing Cho'Gath is the MFing Cho'Gath running out of the FoW and coming at you like a fear guided missile.
Exhaust: Another sometimes Skill. Good for early kills and combos well with Rupture, but you'll soon find that Flash is much more versatile.
Cleanse: LoL.

Summoner spells to avoid:
Ignite: If you're not last hitting, you're not worried about the kill in the first place.
Heal/Clarity: If you arent killing enough creep to keep rupture rolling, or you're low on life, you shouldn't be playing the MFing Cho'Gath. Go back to Ashe.

"But Condon! Where is the AP? Where does the sweet deeps come from?!?!?!" you may be asking in a couple paragraphs.

To the first: Don't be a woman. There is no room for fancy sticks and jewlery when you are the MFing Cho'Gath.
To the second: The Cho'Gath, much like the Chuck Norris, kills through sheer bed-wetting terror. He doesn't need to go out of his way to murder people.

First item: Regrowth pendant. This, mixed with your passive, means you can stand on the front line and suck up more harassment and rack up more minion kills than a two man lane all by your lonesome, and keep close enough to harass with vorpal spikes to boot.

Now, you SHOULD be able to stay in lane long enough to rack up a few thousand gold, picking up your boots and Warmogs all in one go. For boots, choose between the swiftness and mercury treads depending on what the other team looks like. Worry more about stuns than slows, as a slow just means they have to chase you longer before your allies come and feed them their teeth.

After that, you really have to size up the competition. If they're casty or AP heavy, pick up a guardian angel first, and a force of nature then fill up on either sunfire cloak or another Warmogs or an Atmas if you need to eat some towers.

If they're all stabby and physical stacked, get yourself another warmogs and a guardian angel, then the force of nature and get some sunfire cloaks, with a chance of thornmail if theres a warrick and you want to be cute.

Really, after the angel you can do what you like, shoot from the hip. Just get fat, and get sassy. **** leviathan though. It just makes you more wary of death. You don't give a **** about death, you're the MFing Cho'Gath.

**** scream.

No, you shut up.

Vorpal
Rupture
Vorpal
Rupture
Vorpal
Feast
Vorpal
Rupture
Vorpal
Rupture
Feast
Rupture
Blah blah blah

Seriously, **** scream. "But Condon! It's soooo much deeeeeeps, and you can get killllzzzzzz and sillllence!" No, **** you. You are saying this because you are not playing the MFing Cho'Gath. You are playing the girly "Rape me and give me your manseed please" Cho'Gath. If you know how to use rupture, you will do more damage, and cause more urine streaked freak-outs. Remember kids: Rupture has the approximate range of an angry bee guided ICBM.

The goal is to have them run and scream and fear you all game. The more time they spend running, the less time they spend last hitting while you're running up the lane eating their creep like jumbo shrimp at red lobster. You will be on the front line auto attacking all game, meaning if they stick around long enough to get those last hits in, you have them ruptured and are nailing them with spikes the whole time. This adds up, they cry, and start to run like a mother****er whenever they see the ground shake.

The fear begins. The healthy, acceptable fear of the MFing Cho'Gath. Scream is fine later, for the silence more than the burst. As I've said, it works well with flash for a ball-clenching turnaround in team battles, but early game it's just draining your sweet sweet rupture mana.

Feast is not a sometimes skill. Until you have 6 stacks, use it whenever the cooldown is up. After that, don't bother waiting for a last hit to use it. Cocky carry? Open with a feast. They will drop a brick when they hit half health, and your team will pounce on them. You don't need the gold, you need your carry to get the gold.

Try for a solo mid. You can accomplish quite a lot here, and quickly establish a healthy sense of "OH MAN **** MAN JESUS **** ITS THE MFING CHO'GATH." This is a good thing. Let me explain.

There are three possible laning scenarios: You are facing a ranged carry, an ashe or a trist, a veigar or a karthas. This is delicious. They are teeny tiny, and most likely favor mana regen items early game to get their farm on. This is when you scream and gnash and rupture them until they bleed from the arse and run home to mommy. Keep the pressure on, kill all the creep, and push right up to their tower. They will have so much trouble last hitting they will be gimped all game unless they get support.

Protip: Throw ruptures down next to their tower while they are trying to sneak last hits in between tower shots. If they're trying to avoid spikey doom, they aren't making duckets.

Let it be clear: After you get enough for a warmogs, you don't give a **** about duckets. You are the MFing Cho'Gath. If they aren't getting Duckets, you are fine not getting any either. You will still be the MFing Cho'Gath as a poor *******, and they will still be food unless they can farm.

Now, you have their carry on the run, you're fat and sassy because of your passive and vorpal spikes, and the enemy team has already seen a couple shots of your ugly mug eatinating their precious carry. It's time they sent in the B team.

This, much like the two man scenario, is perfectly okay. You are auto attacking creep and you regen like a mother****er. Until they put three men in that lane against you, you're laughing, because you sir, are the MFing Cho'Gath. Even better, if you manage to eat one of the ******bags you have just advertised to everyone in the game that you are the MFing Cho'Gath, and you will eat who you please. Nothing kills morale like losing a 2v1 fight. From this point on, you are a force to be feared, and they will turn and burn unless they know they can press the advantage, or they are self mutilating feeders.

Scenario two: 2v1

This usually happens when the enemy team can't agree on who should mid, or they have some devious sneaky plan to try to kill your teams carry early on. Either way, you are laughing.

A well played MFing Cho'Gath can hold his own against two men without too much trouble. Just pretend one of them is a more annoying caster minion. Keep one low as you can, and pick on him the whole time. Either his ally will get a god complex and do something stupid, or you will be down to a one man lane soon. In either case, one of your allied lanes has an easy time pushing, and lets those two heroes run around ganking asap.

The only thing to really watch for here is early double stun. You don't want to let them kill you before you get huge, it will make them think they can beat you. We can't have that. You must be the MFing Cho'Gath at all times. They have to prefer self mutilation to attacking you, because you are an unstoppable force of nature fueled by fear and orphans tears. Survive till feast and eat the weak one whole, preferably with flash for effect.

Fear is key here, you don't want them realizing you're just another hero.

Scenario three: Jungling support.

This is quite possibly the best scenario for a MFing Cho'Gath. This means they have two solo lanes, and one in the jungle, probably nunu or warrick.

"But Condon, that means you have to be careful and that they will have three high level characters!" Go back to the home grandma, you don't know ****.

Levels wont help them if they can't generate gold, and you can bet your *** the jungling hero will be *****ed at to come mid and shut you down if you're doing it right. Better yet, try to stay lower and play looser than you usually would, provoking gank attempts as often as possible when you have an escape planned. The more time the jungler spends trying to kill you, the less gold/level advantage he gains, and the more he nerfs the center lanes XP in your favor. Even if you get an early death or two, you should more than make up for it with your aoe mob slaughter and the pressure you're putting on mid's gold generation.

In either case, when you finally break the tower down and go back to buy your warmogs, its time to make like Charlie and force GI to go home.

Mid-Late game you want to make your presence known all over the map. Jump out of the bushes, whether or not you're going to get a kill, pop up behind people in lanes, generally take advantage of the fact that you are a large, imposing character model with early game kills and a gimped carry to face. Doesn't matter if you're getting duckets or actually accomplishing anything, just make sure you run into team battles and tank towers when needed. Your biggest role is fear-mongering. They can't do much if they're afraid to lane against you. So what if you can't nuke them down, so what if you're just going to turn and burn if they enguage, the mindset is still "Holy **** that's a huge MFing Cho'Gath, we'd be fools to try and assault him without the whole team. ****** force assemble!" Then, if all goes well, they gang**** you.

"Wait, what? Parle vous sanity? Why would I want to get gangraped?" Don't be stupid Agnes. They take the two minutes to jump your ***, one of two things happens: Your team jumps in and pushes their testes into their throat, or your team eats one of their lanes like you eat creep. Precious time wasted running away from or towards the MFing Cho'Gath can never be returned. You should be fat enough to make a good chase, and with flash it's all the better because you might actually get away.

"So we're pushing them in all lanes, and they live in fear of the Mighty MFing Cho'Gath. What next?" Sit down and listen good, Timmy. By now, you're huge. Like, 5k+ life and a shadow the size of your E-peen huge. You are "walk into the enemy base and eat a tower/inhib unless they chase you" huge. Your team should outgold/exp them by miles at this point because you've done such a good job sewing fear and disrupting enemy farming. You can kick up your feet, autorun pretty much anywhere, and watch your team reap the rewards for your excellent early/mid game MFing Cho'Gathitude.

Congradulations on not being useless.

If you just lost, examine why.

Did your team take advantage of the huge open lanes and wicked rupture/feast assists you handed them?

A: Yes of course! If Im with friends they know how to play, and if I'm with pugs they are all greedy ****s who will praise themselves and pretend it was all them, but I don't care, because I'm the MFing Cho'Gath.

Did you get fat enough to tank a tower all on your lonesome?

A: Indeed I did! I wasn't ******ed and outpaced the enemy DPS/mobility so early on that I've got twice their HP.

Did you turn their carry into a snivelling little girly man?

A: He sent me a bill for a therapist, which I promptly ate so he could read it himself, the greedy *******.

Did you sew so much fear and confusion that all chat turned into screams of pain and cries to various deities?

A: Of course! What little self confidence they had remaining was destroyed by my subtle yet genius taunts, and witty banter. Some of my favorites are "OM NOM NOM" and a smattering of "Immunna eachu" before a gank.

Did you end up in a side lane because of some nearsighted *****?

A: Yes, but I made up for it by absolutely skull****ing the weakest member of that lane, causing infighting and multiple lineup switches that led to even more lost time and sloppy play while my teams carry farmed up seven Bloodthirsters!

If you answered correctly, you didn't lose, your team did. Better luck next time, and if you're lying to yourself, read this guide again as penance.