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Wedding Wishing Well

Creator: jhoijhoi May 1, 2013 3:32pm
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Do you like the idea of a Wedding Wishing Well?
jhoijhoi
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I've attended about six weddings. The four earlier ones I barely remember, due to being under 10 years old. The second last was my own mother's (so I didn't even think of a wedding gift... o.o). The last wedding I attended had a Wishing Well.

A Wishing Well is a physical box, miniature well, vase etc that is put on display at the wedding reception. The idea behind it is that the guests deposit their cards with their well wishes, and if they like, some money to help the married couple.

As I've been invited to a wedding of Patch's cousin, I've read up on Wishing Wells, just to see the "average" cost that is expected to be donated. Most people claim $50-100 is perfectly fine. Others say that a guest should try to aim to cover the cost of the reception ($100+ a head, generally).

I look at these values, and consider what I gave to my cousin. She's 34 or so, and has been with her now-husband for 14 years. So... I gave her $200. My dad gave her $200. And my sister gave her $200.

I look at those values.

And think, wtf were we thinking. I just sincerely wonder if, as a family, my sister, dad and myself gave them more money than anyone else, and we probably did. Even despite travelling 12 hours to the wedding, paying for our accomodation and food... we still gave $600 in total - and my sister and I are university students! I'm only 21, she's still 18!

wtf were we thinking? o.o

Anyway.

Now that Patch's cousin's wedding is coming up, I was re-evaluating how much money would be appropriate to give. I don't think I can afford $200 (by myself) this time, as I'm actually quite low on funds at the moment. I would probably be able to save up an extra $200, but I'm also going on a holiday to ****et in July, and I was hoping to have $1000 to spend there.

So.

Two questions:

1) Do you like the idea of giving the newly weds gifts of cash, as opposed to gifts of silver wear etc?
2) How much do you think Patch and I (as a couple) should give his cousin as a wedding gift?

Thanks,
jhoi
Pheyniex
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this banking industry is everywhere... better kill it now before it erupts like a bubble. oh, wait...


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YayaFTW
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In France we have this saying "C'est le geste qui compte". Which means, It's not the gift that matters, it's the fact that you thought about them that does.

1) I prefer giving them a physical gift, for the sole reason that money tends to be forgotten while physical gifts would remind them of you everytime they see it. I tend to buy house decorations for the newly weds such as paintings or sculptures, since newly weds generally move to a new house after they get married so they could use a bit of fancy decoration.

It never costs me over 100$ and since it's a physical gift, they can never know how much it's worth. So that solves the problem of how much money you should give.

2) If you really insist on giving money instead of physical gifts, you shouldn't overdo it. If you can't give 200$ then don't. If Patch's cousin is a nice lad, I am sure that he'll overlook how much he received and always have in mind the kind act you did for him, regardless of the amount of money.

If you want an exact Value, as a couple, you should give 300$ (150$ each) and if you're really tight on money, go for 200$ (100$ each), or maybe Patch could pay your share then you pay him back later, but that's your personal life I can't suggest anything like that sorry :p)

Hope I helped.
Toshabi
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I want physical gifts. All my friends know I'm a nerd. The girl I'm marrying is a nerd, so therefore we're gonna get a ****load of pokemon/animoo/nerdy stuff. GIVE ME MY GIFTS!
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i feel like it is kind of a toss up. if you give them a gift they want than that is the way to go...if you give them a gift and they don't want it than they have to have the hassle of going somewhere to return it when you could have just given them money to get what they want.

true though that people will remember physical gifts more than money though.

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jhoijhoi
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Thanks for the opinions guys, it's helped me rationalise my thoughts...

I'm thinking that we'll end up giving around $100-200 + a physical gift. I will compile a recipe book and print it off and get it bound. I will also take photos and that'll be my gift. Spoiler'd below is a photo I took at my cousin's wedding last month - they're using it as the back of a "thank you" card. So I think that if I get a few good photos are Patch's cousin's wedding... that'd be a good present?

Spoiler: Click to view


Thoughts? Does that sound fair? We are also travelling 6+ hours for the wedding.
Toshabi
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Can I crash the wedding?
YayaFTW
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jhoijhoi wrote:

Thanks for the opinions guys, it's helped me rationalise my thoughts...

I'm thinking that we'll end up giving around $100-200 + a physical gift. I will compile a recipe book and print it off and get it bound. I will also take photos and that'll be my gift. Spoiler'd below is a photo I took at my cousin's wedding last month - they're using it as the back of a "thank you" card. So I think that if I get a few good photos are Patch's cousin's wedding... that'd be a good present?

Spoiler: Click to view


Thoughts? Does that sound fair? We are also travelling 6+ hours for the wedding.


That's more than fair if you ask me. Sentimental/Home-made gifts work like a charm because they show how caring you are unlike money which sometimes could be interpreted as "too lazy to prepare something", but like you said, why not both :P
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I'd give em' tree fiddy.
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Yes, I had a rough childhood." - devdevil
Pheyniex
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that is actually a very good photo, regardless of whoever is in it... =0

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