Click to open network menu
Join or Log In
Mobafire logo

Join the leading League of Legends community. Create and share Champion Guides and Builds.

Create an MFN Account






Or

MOBAFire's first Mini Guide Contest of Season 14 is here! Create or update guides for the 30 featured champions and compete for up to $200 in prizes! šŸ†
's Forum Avatar

jhoijhoi's review & discussion service

Creator: jhoijhoi June 29, 2011 5:44pm
Bellator
<Member>
Bellator's Forum Avatar
Show more awards
Posts:
259
Joined:
Jul 11th, 2011
Permalink | Quote | PM | +Rep August 3, 2011 12:21pm | Report
Rudmed wrote:

1. For example the terms for dummies is a wall of text, which is just a wall of TEXT. You need to brighten it up with colors, or something. That makes your guide seem really long.

2. You need to center your items, and that will make a lot of difference. Now what I find weird is that you did it later on in the guide, but not in the item section.

3. I would also be clearer on what items you consider core, and what items you consider situional, or luxury. I see a list of items, and beside the build order at the very top I have no clue what your reccomend. After all assume the audience has NO CLUE what they are doing. You need to be a guiding hand, and the master.


1. Probably just going to remove that, I put it in there as a filler at the start of the guide and have never really liked it. Plenty of resources elsewhere if the audience is confused about something.

2 & 3. I did it here and there, experimenting with what I like... Going to likely change the items section up a bit and add a few different situational builds. Although, the items come down to preference. Someone might like Frozen Heart over Randuin's Omen as there primary piece of armor. I'll clarify that.

Thanks for the input, I'll implement the ideas soon.
Bellator
<Member>
Bellator's Forum Avatar
Show more awards
Posts:
259
Joined:
Jul 11th, 2011
Permalink | Quote | PM | +Rep August 3, 2011 2:16pm | Report
Bellator wrote:



1. Probably just going to remove that, I put it in there as a filler at the start of the guide and have never really liked it. Plenty of resources elsewhere if the audience is confused about something.

2 & 3. I did it here and there, experimenting with what I like... Going to likely change the items section up a bit and add a few different situational builds. Although, the items come down to preference. Someone might like Frozen Heart over Randuin's Omen as there primary piece of armor. I'll clarify that.

Thanks for the input, I'll implement the ideas soon.


Thanks, Rudmed.
Got rid of the wall of text and centered the guide, I agree that it looks better.
Clarification on the items will be here soon.
+rep to you.
Freddy Shopan
<Member>
Freddy Shopan's Forum Avatar
Posts:
526
Joined:
Jul 16th, 2011
Permalink | Quote | PM | +Rep August 3, 2011 3:29pm | Report
Gawd, the internet here is so awful... but I responded to your criticism on my Sona guide, and I'd love it if you could take a look. :]
Delandel
<Member>
Delandel's Forum Avatar
Posts:
22
Joined:
Feb 12th, 2011
Permalink | Quote | PM | +Rep August 3, 2011 4:07pm | Report
Guide For (champion): Lee Sin
Why I'd like this to be Reviewed: First guide, poor ratings, unsure of what to improve.
What I'd like you to focus on: Anything
Guide Link: http://www.mobafire.com/league-of-legends/build/lee-sin-done-right-videos-included-108880
Rudmed
<Editor>
Rudmed's Forum Avatar
Posts:
2394
Joined:
Dec 10th, 2010
Permalink | Quote | PM | +Rep August 3, 2011 4:10pm | Report
Reminding those who, have forgotten a golden rule. Look at the 1st Page before you post. You might find something useful there, and this goes for those of you coming back for a second review.
VKZ95
<Member>
VKZ95's Forum Avatar
Show more awards
Posts:
319
Joined:
Jul 27th, 2011
Permalink | Quote | PM | +Rep August 3, 2011 6:21pm | Report
jhoijhoi wrote:

VKZ95's Mordekaiser Guide
Verdit: A VERY in-depth Mordekaiser guide that not only gives you a good build for the Twisted Treeline, but explains alternative items well.
Possible Improvements: The author needs to spend some time making the guide aesthetically pleasing. Have a look around at the other guides in this thread and see if you can implement some changes to make it nicer to read. I struggled to read your guide because I grew bored too fast. While you have a lot of good information, I feel as if people are just going to skip everything in your guide due to it not grabbing the reader's attention. Visual changes are not hard to make, pop into my guide about writing a guide and have a look at the various ways in which you can enrich a bland guide :)

Constructive Criticism:

1) As Morde is a caster, a melee caster, I think he wouldn't be able to make much use of the Lich Bane proc with auto-attacks. But I may be biased in my opinion, as the only Morde player I know plays like a caster. Out of sight, out of mind, boom headshot.

2) No Deathfire's? :P

3) You may like to alter your title to say "3v3" or "Twisted Treeline".

4) That's a VERY expensive build for TT.

5) You need to work on your punctuation and capitalisation.

6) Pre-game stuff before in-game stuff.

7) I scanned over the rest of your guide. Why? Because it was really boring to read, lol. Visit my thread for the rest of the review.


1) lich is too important for my build, thanks to this i have an average of 3/4 turrets on TT

2) i had deathfire as on of my optional items, i dont know if you didn't see it but now i moved it to my core build

3) i added TT at the end of my build name

4) i dont have a problem with this I usually get to buy rabadons, anything after it would be one of my optional items which i added for games that are longer than usual, the build is designed to be used like this

5)i did work on this, but im not sure if i corrected everything

6) i changed this

7) im working on this

thanks for the feed back


Mordekaiser the metallic nightmare RIFT, thank you JEFFY40HANDS for this awesome signature
wRAthoFVuLK
<Altruistic Artist>
wRAthoFVuLK's Forum Avatar
Show more awards
Posts:
10852
Joined:
Jan 17th, 2011
Permalink | Quote | PM | +Rep August 3, 2011 9:48pm | Report
adding another post to make it 667 ;)

Thanks to TRUeLM, Plastictree, Scrax, Xiaowiriamu, foggy12, JahGFX, jhoijhoi, msrobinson, JEFFY40HANDS, Nyoike, MissMaw, and me :) for the sigs!
Searz
<Ancient Member>
Searz's Forum Avatar
Show more awards
Posts:
13418
Joined:
Jun 6th, 2010
Permalink | Quote | PM | +Rep August 4, 2011 5:40am | Report
Soooo, could I get a review for my rune guide?
KTHXBAI!

>:3

I'd like you to focus on content (HURR). Well, anything you can think of :3
I just updated it and would like to see if there's anything else in need of a possible update.
"I walked up to her big butt and asked her *** butt what." - Lil Wayne, lyrical genius

"I can't decide where I stand on abortion, on one hand it is killing children, on the other it gives women a choice." - ???
kin333x
<Member>
kin333x's Forum Avatar
Posts:
683
Joined:
Mar 30th, 2011
Permalink | Quote | PM | +Rep August 4, 2011 10:12am | Report
Probly the worst thing i have ever written... It was fun but painful
Beware me cause seisures


Guide For (champion): Nasus
Why I'd like this to be Reviewed: BECAUSE ITS PRO
What I'd like you to focus on: THE PRONESS
Guide Link: PRO NASUS GUIDE
Thanks to jhoijhoi MoonEdge For the sigs!
Rudmed
<Editor>
Rudmed's Forum Avatar
Posts:
2394
Joined:
Dec 10th, 2010
Permalink | Quote | PM | +Rep August 4, 2011 1:27pm | Report
Guide for: Twisted Fate
Why I'd like this to be reviewed: Final error check, and making sure its perfect or almost atleast.
What I'd like you to focus on: Anything.
link: Poker face po po po poker face.

You need to log in before commenting.

League of Legends Champions:

Teamfight Tactics Guide