I'm Granmuhh, and for the past 4 years this game has been my life. Over these four years, I've created over 50 accounts dedicated to learning individual champions in the support role. Highest peak was Gold 1 before moving on to another account to learn a new champion. This is my idea of fun and I truly love this video game.

Oh God here we go...

What makes me different from other players?
Why should you follow this guide compared to others?
Who gives a damn about your advice or playstyle?

I'm not special, I'm not gifted, and if you don't want to follow this guide I wouldn't blame you. HOWEVER, if you decide to stick around and listen, I can almost guarantee that you will have fun. I will show you the power of goblin mode gaming.

What does that mean?

I do not give a f*ck about this game.
I do not give a f*ck about the players.
I do not give a f*ck about winning or losing.

I simply want a person on the enemy team to suffer, greatly.

I run around the map like a f*cking mad man from lvl 1-18. Before I even Q up I've already listen to MO3 "Outside" 4 or 5 times and it's on repeat the whole game and you think i'm joking.

I don't care about the enemy team.
I don't care about MY team.
I dont' care about anything.

I'm going to roam around and gank the entire game and a DDoS is the only thing that's going to stop me. I want nothing more than to make someone on the enemy team so miserable that they CANNOT play the game. I want blood and gold. This is my definition of goblin mode.

In pregame lobby I'm already looking at matchups and figuring out who the weakest laner is level 1. One of my favorites to pick on is Teemo top lvl 1 or Veigar mid lvl 1. Let's use the Veigar mid lvl 1 as an example...

Minions spawn and jungle buff spawns, my ADC and JNG are most likely leashing. I'm being serious when I say they are lucky if I hit the buff a single time. I'm normally mid by 1:45 and I'm f*cking SPAM PINGING that I'm ganking. I show up and EVERY SHOT THAT COMES OUT OF MY BOW I WALK ALONGSIDE.

What does this mean?
This means I'm kiting, I'm moving, I'm doing as much damage as possible... WE NEED TO MILK A FLASH AT LEAST! If all works well, and your mid is not useless your team will get the kill.

This next part is very important:

TRY AS HARD AS YOU CAN TO GIVE KILLS/GOLD TO TEAMMATES BEFORE 10 MINUTES

But why Granmuhh? Don't you want the gold? Don't you want the kill so you can GIGA scale??

Listen to me...Your teammates will f*cking LOVE you if you are spoon feeding them this early. You are not only giving them a massive gold advantage but also a major mental advantage.

Think about it, you're an Akali mid and you know you're going to have to deal with an annoying Veigar all lane aannnnnndddddddd he's dead.... and he's dead again.... and he's dead again.... OH SH*T THIS TWITCH IS DOPE!

Trust me, early gold on your laners is VERY GOOD.

Okay so you ganked mid and it went great... Now what?

Well it all depends. Sometimes the enemy mid laner will type. For some reason they love saying, "Get a f*cking life rat." or something like that. I will teach you how to respond in the chat in the next chapter but for now follow these rules.

Keep pissing them off. Always.

If that mid-laner just typed to me, I'm perma ganking mid for the next 10 minutes.

Do I care if that's the best call? Nope
Do I care if the ganks aren't working? Nope

I want that little pig to suffer and I'm just going to keep spamming his lane until I get bored.

Mid laner doesn't type?
Go straight top and do the same thing. ALWAYS spam ping and position yourself appropriately. PLEASE FOR THE LOVE OF GOD AND ALL THAT IS HOLY, USE YOUR HEALTH BAR TO YOUR ADVANTAGE! Especially later on when you are really pissing people off, they will do the dumbest **** ever to try and kill you. Easy bait and flash for another kill.


Okay Granmuhh how long do I do this?

Do this until a lot of grouping and team fights happen. When team fights break out it is your responsibility to kill the squish carry

Should I ever go bot and help my ADC?

Nah f*ck your ADC, it's cool to help them with JNG every now and again but normally it's not worth. Just get your MID or TOP huge and you will have fun.

You're so mean ruining the game for your ADC and other players!

OH REALLY? Who the f*ck are you to tell me how to play this game? If I want to rub jelly on my eyelashes and use them to tickle the keyboard, I WILL

Also, if I were an ADC and my Twitch supp did this I would praise God. Just leave my lane and let me farm. I would not care at all, and anyone who is comfortable with creep farming will be just fine (especially Caitlyn or Ezreal)

People will hardcore flame you on both sides for doing this strategy. We do not give a f*ck. You have two options, flame back or mute. It's that simple.


My go to comeback for almost ANY type of flaming is "You drink soda and smoke cigarettes." There is a high likelihood that this is a true statement and if it hits, IT HITS HARD, trust!



Do not flame if you are worse than the enemy.

-Attack move click should be put on A key

-Limit test to get better

-Use your healthbar as a tool

-Every game has a win condition

-You need to learn how to move and shoot and stop on a dime. Your champion should be an extension of yourself/mind. If you are uncomfy you need to practice. I have spent hundreds of hours in the practice tool alone, you should too. (see practice tool below)

The following is a dumb story that nobody cares about but I'm going to tell it anyway because it holds a valuable lesson:

About a year ago I created a new account to learn a new champ. I've done this 50+ times so I pretty much know the routine. For anyone that hasn't created a new account in a while, it is essentially a **** shoot in regards to what kind teammates you get (some smurfs, some new players, etc.)

However, it just so happened that I got to experience laning and playing against C9 TOWNS who is Cloud9's academy midlaner. This man pushed my sh*t in so hard I almost quit the game. I'm not exaggerating when I say it was as if he knew what I was going to do before I did it. Every. Single. Action. Was PERFECTLY timed. His movement was like nothing I've ever experienced on the rift. If I saw Akali on my screen and was not already running away, I was dead, and I knew it.

Why are you telling us this?

Humble yourself. Do not take yourself too seriously. If you are reading this you are most likely bad and that is OKAY! I'm VERY BAD! EMBRACE BEING BAD! That acceptance has taught me to have fun while playing. I know no matter how hard I work, I will never be near the level that C9 Towns is at and that acceptance has brought me PEACE!

Can you get better?
ABSOLUTELY! Everyone has the ability to show growth. Just relax more and enjoy this game!

So you want to get to Platinum?

Do this and I gurantee Plat or higher...

1) Go into practice tool and select Draven (yes Draven)
2) With NO ITEMS and ONLY his Q ability leveled ONCE go to the toplane
3) Get 100 CS by 10 minutes

Yep, that's it. Complete that challenge and I gurantee you have the hands to get Platinum.

This drill will teach you how a wave works while moving, stopping, and attacking. In my opinion, Draven, Riven, and Ezreal are the hardest champions in the game. I had a personal awakening when I learned how to play Draven so I can gurantee you will too if you follow these steps.

Shadowfoot - S (S+ with obsidian chroma, and my personal favorite)
Ice King - S (Anti-Santa)
Omega Squad - A (The sound of the silencer for AA soothes me, I run this a lot)
SSW - F
Dragonslayer - A
Pickpocket - C (S if you are a furry)
Vandal - A
Mob Boss - S (look at it)
Whistler Village - C
Medieval - F
Kingpin - A
Nacho - F

Mob Boss has best splash art so that's why I picked it for the theme of this guide.

Thanks for reading my guide. For those of you that made it this far...Yes I am in therapy and no it is not helping.

I'm still considering streaming. I know no one will watch but I don't want to feel alone :\

Cheers!
-Granmuhh