Sup boys, my name is BTA Massive. I just love playing league with my huge lads in the little spare time I have between my massive gym seshs. #huge #noroids #onlywhey. So a little about me, I’ve been playing on the garena servers since February 2013 (phwoar, that’s a year and a half) and basically i should be in challenger. But its because of my ****ty internet and massive lags, coupled with the worst Garena matchmaking that is pulling me down to a mere silver 2. I play a diverse range of champions that are played in LCS and OGN such as kata, yasuo and kata. Usually my strat starts off in lobby with my lads when i will insta call mid. Insta calling mid will assert dominance over your teammates, instilling fear in them and creating huge bant. My mates call me Huge Highlord Hugh the Huge because i’m so at the game lol. Also, being passive aggressive in champ select, towards my junglers as well as JayPee’s rengar will definitely help in team spirit! This will be a guide on Yasuo, a champion i have grown fond of after 2 days of hardcore and intense bronze 1 ranked 5’s with him. Hope you guys enjoy my guide and get those massive carries going! LETS GO BOYS!

For Yasuo, I like to go 0-0-30 for the immense amount of utility it provides me in my laning phase. I like to take meditation to get that extra bit of mana regen, so that I can cast that much more spells as yasuo. It is almost like you never have mana at all! The extra bit of instant hp from culinary master, will allow you to make huge baits, as it is basically a free red potion. The massive amounts of gold you would be getting from greed and scavenger will basically be the amino acids you take in to synthesize the huge amounts of protein in your body, allowing you to accumulate mass.

Flat mana quints are the way to go for yasuo. Since he is a champion that does not require mana at all, having that extra bit of mana basically breaks the game. By having something that he shouldn’t have, he basically breaks the rule of absolute huge; nothing is bigger than absolute huge.

I like to max my wind wall first in order for maximum blockage. That extra pixel of wall will stop that cheeky ezreal ultimate or caitlyn q from bringing you a death closer to a “noob feeder”. Phwoar just thinking about it makes me huge.

To take:
Teleport- Do i really need to explain? This summoner allows you to TP back to your lane, to allow yourself access to more farm, and thus getting EXP which is vital for levelling up your wind-wall. It also allows you to maintain a global threat to the enemy team and makes you that much more massive.

Clairvoyance
One of the better summoners in the game to date. CV allows for global vision, preventing ganks so that you can safely farm your huge waves of minions and getting massive. This will allow you to gain a massive advantage over your miniscule lane opponent and emerge into the late game as a force of nature.

Not to take:
Flash- Huge no-no, it is common for inexperienced Yasuo players to take flash due to the extra “mobility” they think it gives. However, clairvoyance will basically make you immune to ganks, so what’s the point?

Ignite- Taking this is just a waste of a slot, there are just so many other better options, such as teleport, clairvoyance, tp, and teletransportation.

Heal- Many of you may think its “meta” to pick heal now. However, people are missing the point here. Lets have a look at its tooltip: “Heals the caster and the target nearest to the cursor”. This means that a massive proportion of the benefit from this summoner spell goes to another ally, and not to you. In other words, it helps other people get huge, and not you. Massive no-no. To be huge, you must be bigger than your teammates, meaning that you have to be the carrying force!

Cleanse- The only real use for cleanse is to get rid of the stun from ashe’s ult. loljk, Ashe worst champ.

Just some quick reasons why I picked these items:
Starting
Hunter’s machete, pot x5 (Helps with jungle clears, useful for leashing buffs at level 1. Also makes it easier to take blue buff by “accident” ;] )
Protein Shake (to get those massive arms warmed up, prepare to get them gainz)
First back
Spirit of the spectral wraith (massive ap gains, easier csing) (massive ap scalings on sweeping blade, huge nukes almost as big as Hiroshima)
After that
-Zhonyas (Huge baits and a half, makes your arms look massive)
-Mercurial scimitar (in case an ashe arrow hits you, eyebrows)
-Ohmwrecker (Huge midgame dives, gets you super pumped)
-Guardian angel (Basically doubles your muscle mass)
-DFG (Instant 15% of target’s health to secure mass transfers to you)

Example build:
-Spectral wraith -Sorc boots -DFG -Ohmwrecker -Zhonyas -GA
-Sorcerer’s boots (people stack mr in the current meta, like LCS, OGN, Faker, and John Cena<-- Phwoar, that mass

Pros:
-Huge samurai
-Massive sword
-Gains huge wind stacks
-Massive mobility
-Massive shield steroid and a half
-Massive arms

Cons:
-Requires spiritual connection with your Japanese ancestors
-Takes a long time to learn (‘bout a game
and a ‘alf)
-Can get larger than the “absolute huge”, at which point your muscle mass will start to ignore the laws of physics

Champion select
No matter what obstacles stand between you and your beloved mid role, you must not take “no” as an answer. Since this is the highest point in the game as a mid laner, where hopefully you shine through in the laning phase. In the realm of darkness and despair called “bronze”, you are the one bright star that shines hope upon the masses of innocent sheep by the name of “filthy feeders”, or simply “scrubs”. To fully become a good Yasuo player, you must immerse yourself into that role. You must acquire a fan, play japanese music, exclaim “Phwoar, the ults doe!” whenever you cast your ultimate, and watch endless amounts of hentai. Also, be sure to have a short sword in handy in order to pay for your failures with your life. Dishonouring your team as a league player is the highest burden one can inflict upon themselves, also known as “”huge disrespects”.

Early Game
I like to go all in at level 1 with yasuo, as the enemy would not be expecting the massive wind wall. This would either kill the enemy champion, in order to get the huge snowballs going, or show the enemy who’s the bigger one in lane. If you happen to die at this stage, it is 9/10 because your jungler did not gank at this crucial moment, as it is his fault for farming the jungle instead of helping lanes GAIN the advantage. However, if you jungler did assist you and you still die, be sure to alert the opponents about the disadvantages of using Singtel ™ as your chosen internet provider.

Mid Game
At this point your windwall should be maxed, about as big as the area covered by your biceps. This will provide a huge cover for your team, and will block many skillshots fired towards your general direction. When ganking lanes, be sure to stay in back until the opponent is low enough for you to swing in with your massive biceps and q’s, thus taking the kill. If the laner complains, be sure to blame your internet service provider as it wasn’t your fault. You will want to repeat this as much as possible to get those “windwalls” (snowballs) going (phwoar massive puns). However, when things start to go south, you could kindly inform the opposition about your lack of experience in this particular champion, explicitly stating how you have only played this champion “x” amount of times. (x<5, x=any real number)


Late Game
This is when Yasuo truly shines. Your windwall will block more damage’s worth of skillshots, as the enemies would have some items and a half now. What you basically want to do in teamfights is windwall, and wait until someone knocks up an enemy. If there are no champions that can knock people up, this would be your team’s responsibility for not picking a champion with such abilities. Be sure to not stack your q, this is a noob trap and is generally a bad idea. The range is too short for you to safely stack and health is vital for you making those massive ults in teamfights. Additionally, using q will eat through your massive mana reserves, thanks to your runes and masteries. When teamfighting, it is important to remember to shout “those *insert huge action here* doe” such as “those jukes doe.” This is to inform everybody in your house, of the teams and yours massive plays. Having your family know about your plays will encourage them to support you, and bring those massive protein shakes and create further bant.

Psychological warfare is a huge component of playing in the battlefield known as the summoners rift. You could “intentionally” feed the opponent in order to control the flow of the game to your will, which some may call the “Late game challenges”. However, I like to think of it differently. By

“INTENTIONALLY”

feeding your lane opponent, you can cause him to underestimate your powers, or rather, get drunk in his own huge powers, causing him to believe that he is massive, when I actually contain most of the mass in lane, caused by me

“***INTENTIONALLY***”

feeding them,

“deliberately”

. This phenomenon is called Huge Utilization of Gaining Enemy mass with Kill Enhancement Neurology through Game Advantage In Noob Zone, also known as HUGEKENGAINZ ™.
As for another mindgame tactic, you could state to your teammates “gg surrender at 20” when your lane is not looking good. You do not actually mean this, you are merely doing this in order to increase your team’s epinephrine levels, allowing more oxygen flow to their huge arms, and thus increasing their performance. You could even pump up your fellow lads with the following speech:
“We are in the preliminary stage of one of the greatest battles in history.... That we are in action at many points—in Midlane and in BotLane—, that we have to be prepared in the dense Jungles of Summoner’s Rift. That the huge battle is continuous, and that many preparations have to be made here at home.
I would say to our team as I said to those who have joined this hell in the name of “Bronze Level Ranked 5’s”: I have nothing to offer but protein, gaynz, muscle mass and pure massiveness. We have before us an ordeal of the biggest mass. We have before us many, many long sets of chin lifts and bicep curls.
You ask, what is our aim? I can answer in one word: Huge. Huge at all costs—Huge in spite of all terror—Huge, however long and massive the road may be, for without hugeness there is no Victory worth fighting for.”
This massive speech will definitely raise a few massive eyebrows and a half

DO NOT ALLOW YOUR TEAMMATES TO PICK ASHE. PERIOD.

Other than that, anyone with huge knock ups will suffice.

Phwoar, isnt this a guide and a ‘alf