I AM SORRY FOR USING AN EXCESSIVE AMOUNT OF CAPITOL LETTERS HERE, BUT IT IS FOR THE SOLE PURPOSE OF EXPLANATION ON THE HIGHEST LEVEL OF EXPLANATION!!!! PLEASE TAKE THE FOLLOWING INTO CONSIDERATION!!!!!

THIS GUIDE WAS MADE OUT OF BOREDOM AND I DECIDED THAT THE BEST USE OF MY TIME WOULD BE, TO MAKE A AMAZING GUIDE. HOWEVER I FAILED TO REALIZE ONE IMPORTANT DETAIL. IN ORDER TO MAKE A GOOD GUIDE YOU HAVE TO BE GOOD AT THE GAME. SO INSTEAD I WILL GIVE YOU THIS GUIDE, THE ONE THAT IS IMPOSSIBLE TO USE WITHOUT GETTING NAGGED BY YOUR TEAM AND A GUIDE THAT IS EVEN IMPOSSIBLE TO CREATE DUE TO THE EPIC PROPORTION OF BADASSNESS THAT HAS NEVER BEEN IMAGINED. OH BY THE WAY, THIS GUIDE WILL CONTAIN BAD LANGUAGE, JUST PRETEND YOU SAW THIS PART FIRST. I GUESS TO SUM IT UP IN A SENTENCE, THIS GUIDE INFORMATION IS FAKE AND CREATED FOR "HUMOR", TO THE *******S WHO FAILED TO SEE THE GENRE BEFORE EVEN READING. ALSO, THIS GUIDE WILL NOT CONTAIN VERY MANY PRETTY PICTURES. YOU KNOW WHY? BECAUSE IM TO ****ING LAZY AND YOUR TO ****ING OLD FOR IT, SO DEAL WITH IT!

P.S. CERTAIN WORDS ARE CENSORED OUT ON THIS WEBPAGE. I AM NOT A *****, IT IS NOT ME DOING IT. MOBAFIRE LIKES COVERING UP BAD LANGUAGE I GUESS, TO PROTECT YOUR FEELINGS. IF IT WERE UP TO ME I WOULDN'T CENSOR THE WORDS. YOU KNOW WHY. BECAUSE I DON'T GIVE A DAMN ABOUT YOUR FEELINGS...
If you are still reading and will continue to read, enjoy the guide =)

This is a guide to one of the strongest, and most unexpected, AD carries in League of Legends. Xerath. When Xerath was first created, he was initially thought out to be a powerful AD carry. But Riot made a fatal error, they made him to strong. SO strong that when they tried to nerf him, Xerath got pissed and said, "NO *****ES, YOU CAN'T CONTAIN ME", so he then killed 5/3's of the Riot staff. The remaining staff managed only succeed in covering him up with AP abilities thus shrouding his true potential and capability from everyone....now continue on and discover the true powers of Xerath!!!

Pros A certified badass Can gank even by shooting from mid Nobody ****s with him Can float, avoiding AOE damage Is great with kids! Cons The enemy team will constantly surrender at 20 minutes due to your badass carry build Your team will ***** about your build Xerath cannot physically have children Playing him makes your computer explode 99% of the time (this hasnt happened yet because every time he was played, the playr got really really really lucky) Every time Xerath is played, he is charged for rape and sent to jail No one knows how to pronounce his name

The only summoner spells that truly work well with Xerath are Smite and Garrison...and here's why.

locus of powerThe only ability you will need throughout the whole game is locus of power. Wanna know the reason why??? It's self explanatory, if you cant figure it out then you must be either ******ed or you must be Sona. Locus of power makes you bound to the ground, which forces you to either A: Kick *** and look cool, or B: Get your *** kicked and look less cool. But the fact of the matter is that even if you die, you won't look like a *****. Some may say, "Wait a minute, I can click the ability again to escape with faster movement speed." But NOOOOO!!! That person would be using the ability wrong. It's also against the summoner's code to run away or back down from a fight. If you know you are going to die, then die like a man, rather than run away like a support.

Note: You may have noticed that locus of power has been selected as an ability for every level. How has this been done? This is due to the fact that the game knows when you are following this build and gets scared. Xerath then threatens the game from inside (You don't get to see this by the way) and then the game allows Xerath to max out locus of power to level 18.

No other abilities are needed for Xerath. As mentioned in the introduction, they are merely there to cover up Xerath's true powers.

Starting items!
Always begin the game with a Dagger, and a sight ward. As Xerath you will want to cover the map in sight wards by mid-game.

Mid-game items!
All you need here are six daggers. The reason why you want to start off with attack speed is because you want to attack with a lot of speed. Once you have these daggers you should strap yourself to the ground and snipe people with really fast basic attacks. locus of power also makes your sex appeal and reputation increase by 200% which intimidates off anyone trying to get close.

Late-game!
As you see our build took a drastic leap down. We are now using ability power again. "BUT WHHY WOULD WE REVERT BACK TO THIS LUDICROUS BUILD AFTER YOU TOLD US AD CARRY WAS SOOO STRONG, THEBIGBIRD, WHHHHHHHHY!!!!!" Well you see, this is simply a trick; pure strategy. This should confuse the enemy into thinking your just a average joe Xerath. NOBODY realize what your true build is....

Final Build
AHAHAHAAA SURPRISE *****!!! You've just been XXXeraped!!! This is what you will be spamming in /all chat once you whip out your final AD carry build. This IS the moment when the game breaks. The moment you have been waiting for!! Enjoy yourself and kill to your hearts content.

This rune set should be very obvious for Xerath. Attack speed is the name of the game when it comes to binding yourself to the ground. These runes should help you until you reach your final item build. As for the hybrid runes; those are there to give Xerath some double penetration. And no this isn't a sexual reference for those pervs out there. If you could remember I mentioned that Xerath cannot have kids. The only logical way for that to be so, is if Xerath had no *****. How did this happen...long story, lets get back on track. These double penetration runes help Xerath rape everyone in the ***. That, and you can brag about your powerful DPness in /all chat.

TEAMWORK...WTF IS TEAMWORK!!!!!! NO, you do not need teamwork when it comes to Xerath. Then your team will just take all your glory. The only person you need to help you while playing Xerath is your balls. Because Xerath lacks them. (By the way, this means girls will not be able to use this build successfully. If there is a girl reading this guide, then I HIGHLY recommend playing Sona and then you will be able to support your team from the kitchen.) Sorry...I'm sorry. Needed at least one sexist joke in the guide and I think that just about covers it...moving on!

Strategy with Xerath in team fighting is simple. If you acknowledged what was typed above then you will understand this simple to read list perfectly...

Step 7: If you get in the bed with Ahri, try not to catch her nine STD's. Yea, shes one sneaky *****.

Step 1: Don't be a girl (OK.... maybe another one...)

Step 4: Group up your seven team mates in middle lane.

Step 5: Tell your team that they are ***s and to wait next to a turret.

Step 2: Install the game.

Step 6: Dive through all your enemies turrets while they chase you down.

Step 97,861: Disregard step number 7. Xerath doesn't got a ****.

Step 99: Skip from step 6 to step 43

Step 43: Proceed with step 6 with your screen minimized to read the next step in this guide just in case you forgot.

Step 44: Make your screen larger again then close your eyes and press every key on your keyboard.

Step 45: Open your eyes and realize that you have ****ed up and your team has already lost.

Step 47: Stop smoking weed (Presumably the reason you lost)

Step 48: Make time go backwards back to step 1, then skip to step 6. (Weed...)

Step 6: Dive through all your enemies turrets while they chase you down.

Step 840,345,207,402 and a half: WIN!

These are some things to remember to do when playing Xerath. Remember that your champion cannot lead you to victory unless you play your own part as well. First, you must pledge your allegiance to the Xerath. Second, you must be the very best, that no one ever was. Thrid, to catch them is my real quest, to train them is my cause. Fourth, stop singing the Pokemon theme. Fifth, make sure to always keep good verbal language in all of your games. this means you must cuss the **** out of your own team, and your enemy.
Example 1: 'team chat' hey! stop sucking so much punk *** motha Sona's. your dying more times Jason, that chicken from family guy, and you have died more times then Dane Cook on stage.
Other examples of good and appropriate verbal skills...
- Mention other players moms A LOT. So much that it will look like you have a mom fetish!
- Use awkward/weird stereotypical words that teenagers use that embarrass or irritate the hell out of everyone or that no one knows the true definition of as insults such as...
troll, swag, beast, u mad, bro
if you wanted to be a complete *** then you could use all of the above in one super sentence. This may make all players in the game commit suicide because they would have just noticed that society is screwed and the next generation is a bunch of idiots!

To sum up Xerath...4500+4499=OVER 9000!!!! Over 9000 watts up your opponents ***! Xerath can never be beaten! He has everything you need to kick ***. All you have to do is follow the guide. And you can't forget the fundamentals of the game. Make sure to be as rude as possible, sent immature taunts that do not relate to the game, and talk about moms all the time.

Do not abuse this guide. It is possible to piss of Xerath and then he will stop working.

Fair well fair fairy summoners!!