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jhoijhoi's review & discussion service

Creator: jhoijhoi June 29, 2011 5:44pm
jhoijhoi
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Wrath <3

Also, Rudmed, will get to it soon (after the Eve ones, I've kept those young'uns waiting for a while now :P) ^^
guide writing tips 'n tricksashes to ashesfancy a sig?

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Sinjustice
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Guide For (champion): Jarvan IV
Why I'd like this to be Reviewed: Because I have taken fancy to your opinion, sir MA'AM.
What I'd like you to focus on: Kind fellow Sweet miss, would you care to investigate the whole thing? It would sure make my britches all jumbly!
Guide Link: Jarmander

EDITED FOR REALIZATION OF THE FEMALE PERSUASION.



If you like one of my guides or a comment of mine, toss me a +Rep. Please and thank you!
PM me if you have any questions or suggestions.
Temzilla
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Sinjustice wrote:

Guide For (champion): Jarvan IV
Why I'd like this to be Reviewed: Because I have taken fancy to your opinion, sir.
What I'd like you to focus on: Kind fellow, would you care to investigate the whole thing? It would sure make my britches all jumbly!
Guide Link: Jarmander


Jhoijhoi is a lady :D
Tri lane for life.
Symphunny
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Guide For (champion): Me (Cho'gath)
Why I'd like this to be Reviewed: my first build, i feel like im lacking something, also need criticism to improve my guide and organization.
What I'd like you to focus on: whole guide
Guide Link: http://www.mobafire.com/league-of-legends/build/junglin-cho-holy-shyt-dont-eat-me-63383


Special thanks to Brynollf, -FanArt-, Xiaowiriamu (x3), Spooon, reppinFTC and jhoijhoi for making the awesome sigs :P
palzm
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Hey thanks for reviewing my guide. And here are some improvements/changes I made after taking some of your advice.

Quoted:
1) I understand there are many ways to play different champions. For the sake of ease of use and readability, make one guide for one build (or two), not for. Tell the reader what you get 90% of the time, not 25, 25, 25, 25% of the time. As such, I will be only reviewing the first cheat sheet and build.


I'll improve this later, since it will take a lot of time.

Quoted:
2) I'd suggest Marks of Insight or Desolation. That 32 health isn't that great in comparison.


Changed to Insight, since she deals magic damage with her spells.

Quoted:
3) Good Hands > Perseverance.


I prefer Perseverance over Good Hands. I'm somewhat an aggressive player who likes to harass early and use a lot of my spells, so this will help me regen both mana/health that I might lose from what I do.

Quoted:
4) AP&Attack Speed (Ardor) is better than less minion damage. Dodge is also fairly bad.


Changed to 1 point less in minion damage, removed dodge, and put points into HP regen and Ardor.

Quoted:
5) Center your images/icons etc for aesthetic reasons. Check out my guide about writing a guide (in signature) to read how.


I centered any picture that do not have explanations. For the pictures with explanations, I think I'll need space for the words, and I made it easy to quickly scan.

Quoted:
6) No need to mention useless summoner spells.


Fixed. thx :P

Quoted:
7) Order the skills in order of maxing out (when explaining order)


Fixed.
jhoijhoi
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ARedFeather's Evelynn Guide
Verdict: A very in-depth guide about Roaming Eve.
Possible Improvements: Unfortunately this guide is out-dated, and the champion is soon getting a remake as well, sending this guide further into obscurity. However, the guide is extremely well-made, and almost all of it can be salvaged. Improvements include possible video gameplay, some screen shots of the success with this build. Formatting, colour and coding are all virtually impeccable.

Constructive Criticism:

1) You have no escape mechanisms, and with the new stealth rework, you aren't going to be able to turn invis to run away. So, you're probably want to get Flash.

2) Your skilling order is all over the place.

3) Roaming is an old meta, but I really appreciate that section. it is extremely in-depth.

4) You can use "list" to make numeric... lists. Will look nicer.

5) It'd be good if you explained Eve's abilities. For instance, I thought Hate Spike was a toggle, but it isn't o__O

6) Searz's format is great, but you need to add in an extra column and add the word "space" in it, coded black. This will separate your columns.

7) I'd suggest turning on Comment To Vote.
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jhoijhoi
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DeadlyTricks' Evelynn Guide
Verdict: A good Evelynn guide that details the three main ways to play her.
Possible Improvements: The formatting is a tad messy, more colour is needed, some coding would be beneficial. Else-wise, the author has clearly put in a good amount of time in this guide.

Constructive Criticism:

1) I'd suggest only displaying one build, the build you make 90% of the time in games, and suggest the other builds in your guide in alternative items.

2) Good Hands > Perseverance

3) Don't list useless summoner spells. Also, if you're going to use the line separator, add in extra enter spaces so that the guide flows better.

4) An explanation of your skills would be nice.

5) Try centring your images/icons etc for aesthetic reasons.

6) With your Build Examples, I'd suggest instead of linking, showing.

ie for Ashe:

7) Combine your Pros/Cons into one section with different headings for better comprehension and less waste of space.

8) You need a lot more colour in your guide.
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jhoijhoi
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I shouldn't be the only one providing feedback, and it'd be fantastic if the people I've reviewed in this thread turned around and voted and commented on each other's guides.

Comments on my own guides would be lovely too :P <3 Keep the requests coming! ^^

Pending Remake of Guide

My guide for: Gangplank, the Saltwater Scourge
Why I'd like you to review it: Some criticism, to know was six hours making of it worthful, etc. =D
JhoiJhoi's NOTE: GUIDE HAS BEEN ARCHIVED. If the author wishes me to review this, I ask that he re-request once he re-releases the guide. Will remove this from future "To Do" lists.

Reviewable Guides
Rudmed wrote:

Guide For (champion): Tanks
Why I'd like this to be Reviewed: To be further reviewed and criticsed
What I'd like you to focus on: Anything
Guide Link: Dia Link..Right here

TheJohn wrote:

Guide For: Mordekaiser
Why I'd like this to be Reviewed: I want to know if there's anything that I'm still doing wrong
What I'd like you to focus on: Anything
Guide Link: http://www.mobafire.com/league-of-legends/build/wanna-rock-so-get-ready-for-the-show-101119

Sinjustice wrote:
Guide For (champion): Jarvan IV
Why I'd like this to be Reviewed: Because I have taken fancy to your opinion, sir MA'AM.
What I'd like you to focus on: Kind fellow Sweet miss, would you care to investigate the whole thing? It would sure make my britches all jumbly!
Guide Link: Jarmander

Symphunny wrote:

Guide For (champion): Me (Cho'gath)
Why I'd like this to be Reviewed: my first build, i feel like im lacking something, also need criticism to improve my guide and organization.
What I'd like you to focus on: whole guide
Guide Link: http://www.mobafire.com/league-of-legends/build/junglin-cho-holy-shyt-dont-eat-me-63383
guide writing tips 'n tricksashes to ashesfancy a sig?

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jhoijhoi
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Rudmed's General Tanking Guide
Verdict: A nice introductory lesson to being a tank. Edit: A revised, more serious edition, but still needs a bit more work.
Possible Improvements: Needs to work on grammar and what sort of tone the guide should convey (more authoritarian would be good), some images would be beneficial. More champion examples - Galio, Jarvan etc would be great. Edit: There still aren't any images, formatting is a bit of an issue, other examples of tanks would be nice, but not necessary. A jungling section is almost required due to the current US meta of tanks in the jungle. The author also still needs to work on his spelling :P

Constructive Criticism:

1) You have a lot of random space in your disclaimer.

2) You could merge your introduction and your disclaimer together.

3) You need to work on paragraphical space. When you make a new line in a new paragraph, add an enter above and below it. ie:

Quoted:
Welcome fellow tank players to my guide. I will teach you all the true way of tanking by the end of this guide. Now I will not go into how to build each champion that is for other guides that you can find on this site.
ENTER
Rather my goal is too teach you the general idea of tanking, and how to do it sucessfully successfully.
ENTER
At the end of these guide you will have learned a valuable lesson, and be able to do your job as a tank to the best of your ability.


4) Have a read of my Guide About Making a Guide (if you haven't already, I lose track of who has read it or not) and try to implement some of the coding in it. For example, your Commandments of Tanking could be a numerical list which would look nicer.

5) There are a lot of walls of text with no visual relief. Add some images/icons, anything. A lot of champion abilities look really nice as headers, ie:

Quoted:
Protecting your comrades



Now remember overall you ought to be doing very little damage (unless your abillities abilities have a high base damage), so you are not really a threat.

^ this also shows me you still have a lot of spelling errors that I probably didn't notice :3

6) I'd suggest a separator between each skill, and also more enter spaces. (don't ask me what a separator is, I've already told about 20 people in my thread about it ^^)

7) Still nothing about jungling?
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kin333x
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hey... jhoi can you read my panth guide its not very good... and i need a few pointers. i was gonna do a trynd build but i dont wanna get started till i finish my panth one.
Thanks to jhoijhoi MoonEdge For the sigs!

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