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English proofreading

Creator: Lugignaf September 6, 2011 1:10pm

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Lugignaf
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So, there are a lot of guides from people in EU or just flat out, people who aren't too good at English.
I'm here to offer my proofreading services so you can submit them to other people for review (jhoi or nighthawk) or just have a good grammar check done.
Also, coding errors will be pointed out. Like [[Wriggles Lantern]] instead of [[Wriggle's Lantern]] or "[[pyroclasm" instead of "[[pyroclasm]]"
If you want me to, I'll do a small review just tell me the main section you want me to focus on.
I'll post the main spelling/grammar issues here if you want or, through PM if you don't want them public.

Form for submissions

Primary language spoken: English/Spanish/German/ect.
Experience with English: If it's not your primary language, how long have you known it/how well can you speak it?
Has anyone checked it before: Simple Y/N question.
If yes, how good is their English: just so I know how thorough to be.
How you want replies: PM or through replies here.
Guide link:


I'll try to get them done as fast as I can and in the order they come. Don't forget, the guide has to be published first or I will not be able to see it. If they were through the forums, I will link to the comment I made with the corrections down below.



Guides I am currently proof-reading




VKZ95's Morde guide.

SirSpankAlot's Skarner guide.

NicknameMy's Master Yi guide.


Guides i have finished proof-reading




Siveo's Shen guide.
True love is found only in yourself.
Siveo
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Sooo ... As you know, I would really like that you could proofread my guide!

Primary language spoken: Dutch, second: French, third: English
Experience with English: Uhm ... Let me see, learned it properly in school, so that's 4 years ago! Went to USA 2 times but speaking is not a problem, writing is the issue!
Has anyone checked it before: N
How you want replies: PM and/or here, what the easiest is for you!

You forgot to add that you need to publish your guide and link it here :D

Link: Don't mess with the Shen
theBMB
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Lugignaf
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Siveo's Shen guide:Link



Changes to be made are in green. Things to remove are in red. All mistakes are grouped by section and sections are "highlighted" with yellow names. General is just things that were all over the guide and not just in one section.

General grammar/spelling things


You randomly swap between "alot" and "a lot." Try to be more consistent with spelling mistakes. "Alot" is not correct. "A lot" is correct.

Most situations you use "enemy's" instead of "enemies" and I see it like that a lot. Always use "enemies" if you are referring to more than one enemy. Use "enemy's" if you are referring to something the enemies have. Like armor or MR.

You have a couple run-on sentences. Because you're good at the speech part of English, try reading your guide aloud to see what sounds natural and where commas and periods should go.

I see a lot of exclamation points. Are you trying to scream/be excited in the guide?

Intro grammar/spelling mistakes



"This is my first build I've published so if you have any doubts, questions, ... feel free to leave a comment"

"There are many other ways to build and use Shen so you're always free to try out my build and, if it suits your play style, I would be very happy to know that I've helped someone out!"

Masteries grammar/spelling mistakes



"Decreasing the time you're dead and increasing the exp your champion gets, is very important for fast lvling...."

"...for killing minions so they can build their items and deal loads of damage fast!"


Runes grammar/spelling mistakes



Greater Mark of Magic Penetration - You need to do some damage to help you out early in game and to hold your lane!
Greater Seal of Armor - You are a tank/support so you want to have quite a lot armor to take less physical damage.
Greater Glyph of Scaling Magic Resist - Since you're a tank/support, you want to have some magic resistance to take less magic damage.

"Getting health back faster can be handy at times like that!"


Abilities grammar/spelling mistakes



"This will be your main attack (you only have 1). This attack is very useful in the laning phase to help out your teammates to heal and harass your enemies (ranged attack)."

"You can use this ability to run away if you're almost about to get killed but, it can really be a lifesaver for your teammates thanks to the taunt. If you use it right your teammate can escape from champions." The sentence was run-on and this was the best way I could find to fix it.

Items grammar/spelling mistakes



"...magic resist and that speed that you want to have to properly use Shen on the map (See map awareness)."

"If the enemy team is really heavy on AD, you want to take this item..."

" Guardian Angel: Armor and Magic resist are always welcome for tanks and the passive can be quite useful if you die in team fights. You can resurrect to help out your teammates fast!" Again, that was the only way I could find to fix it.

"The passive has quite a long cooldown but it's still worth the buy since every minute, a teamfight will start!"

" Rylai's Crystal Scepter: You can use the health very well and the AP is very nice..."

" Frozen Mallet: This is the attack-based counterpart of Rylai's Crystal Scepter! Gives you a little bit more health and a little stronger slowdown!"

" Sunfire Aegis: Gives you a nice bonus of health and armor. You're a tank so these stats are always welcome!"

Map awareness grammar/spelling mistakes



"If your allies are almost dying, you can save them easily by using Shadow Dash or your ultimate, Stand United.


Video's/Screenshots grammar/spelling mistakes


Should be titled "Videos/Screenshots"

"The next video is a good example on how to use Shadow Dash and Stand United to save the life of your allies!

And that's it!

I'll be expecting your check for my services in 24 hours. :D
VKZ95
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Primary language spoken: Spanish.
Experience with English: I have been studying english for around 10 years now.
Has anyone checked it before: yes, but no one has given me any feedback.
If yes, how good is their English:
How you want replies: I dont care choose what is easier for you.

Link: Morde


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Siveo
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Thanks A LOT for the proofreading! (<- screaming)

I changed everything, tried to change all the exclamation points (I use it to just stress the sentence but yes, I overdid it).

Enemy's/enemies is only thing that I still have to change. (<- short on time) EDIT: Done

I'm going to read it again aloud when I have the time for it.

I credited you at the end off my guide.

To end it: Again a thank you A LOT.
SirSpankAlot
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Primary language spoken: Dutch
Experience with English: I'm 13 years old and thus my english is not that advanced. My brother teached me xD.
Has anyone checked it before: No, they all declined:(
How you want replies: here
Thanks to Plickz and Alexanpt for the awesome Sigs!
And check out my build on skarner
jhoijhoi
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Permalink | Quote | PM | +Rep September 13, 2011 6:57am | Report
Fantastic service! I hope more people find this, you helped Siveo a lot, and his guide looks really professional because of it. +rep
guide writing tips 'n tricksashes to ashesfancy a sig?

♡ sig by me ♡
Searz
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Great initiative!

Lugignaf wrote:

This is my first build I've published

I think that's grammatically incorrect.
I think it should be:
"This is the first build I've published"

Quoted:
I see a lot of exclamation points. Are you trying to scream/be excited in the guide?

Obviously! I scream from excitement all the time!

:v
""Toshabi took thy **** and strucketh Hotshot in his face 'thou art no god'" Toshabi 3:16" - Toshabi

"And then, TheJohn said something so Brazilian that it made all the Brazilians in Brazil turn to look at him" - Toshabi

"abloobloo ur triggering me" - Toshabi
NicknameMy
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Primary language spoken: German
Experience with English: Well, idk^^, school-english
Has anyone checked it before: N
How you want replies: "I dont care choose what is easier for you."(sounds best)

Link: Final Yi, King of Jungle

BTW: Why not make that sticky?
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