Hello guy's! I'm Sanmedina, a noob LAS toplaner in a personal journey to become the very best like no one ever was, to tilt them is my real test and to win games is my cause. (Gotta feed'em all?)

Anyway, i'm just giving my two cents on the matter of this solo Q annoyance known as Teemo top.

Teemo is hated pretty much everywhere, ranging from the philippines to the damn pokemon world and beyond, and as such you could and should use this tilt potential as a psychological weapon to win lane and subsequenlty the game until you either get banned or Rito reworks this vietcong torture machinery they call a champion.

So knowing all that, what's the right playstyle? BE A DOUCHEBAG! The midlaner is in a loss streak according to his profile? roam and KILL HIM! That fiora writes in all caps? SPAWNKILL THAT B!TC#! Ignorant people think noxious trap is teemo's ultimate ability, but that is BS. Teemo's ultimate ability is the ability to tilt someone by just stepping on a godamn mushroom. So use it as such, be the best tiltseeker in the league of laggers and wait for the butterfly effect it causes when the enemy team starts flaming each other.

Good-intentioned god-fearing people try to outfarm the enemy laner by farming more. Teemo is none of that, teemo is an arsehole, a cancer that can't be operated by today's medical techniques and technologies. Teemo DENIES farm.

That Q is not just for mindless poking you know? A smart teemo player will Q an opponent when he is trying to last hit that cannon minion. There's no counterplay for that if you are a melee champion, since you will either waste a cooldown to get the cs with a skill making you vulnerable to trades or give it up entirely.

PROS

-Annoying and tilting
-Almost guaranteed to win lane
-Provides vision and also makes ganking you harder
-Not mechanically intensive whatsoever
-Decent roaming
-Okay sustained damage
-Outrageous short trades
-Looks good in a bikini

CONS

-Not that useful against smart people
-Tanks like maokai can ignore his damage and give the farm up anyway
-Less useful against ranged champions
-NEEDS to win the lane hard to carry
-He gets all sentimental when he drinks

We are aiming for a bruiser; not squishy but with good damage.
The hybrid nature of teemo's damage in the early game makes it so you can't efficiently counterplay him building tanky against him, and once laning phase finishes if you get a wave clear item you can be a really annoying splitpusher.

I'll explain the most important parts of my reasoning for the items:


You will rush Nashor's tooth since it is an amazing item for teemo in the laning phase, but if you get a lead after you got that item you should be rushing mallet to make that gap wider by spawnkilling and more CS denial.

Abyssal mask is the replacement for the traditional rod of ages, since it provides similar damage while making you waaay tankier and giving you some CDR to spam that Q.

Liandry's makes your mushrooms deal that annoying damage we all know and hate without needing a significant ammount of AP so you can build tankier instead.

Gunblade is more of a teamfight oriented item with this build, since you will be able to outsustain the enemies making you a carry they probably won't even focus at first. The slow makes it a good splitpush/1v1 item too and healing off someone that stepped on a mushroom in the other side of the map is invaluably fun by the way.

Finally for the splitpush items You get sunfire cape and thornmail that let you be a tanky splitpusher but luden's echo and runaan's are more slot efficient since you can sell your boots in the lategame and not loose a significant ammount of speed in the process.