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Introduction/Player Profile
STEP 1: Nag Robert until he finally lets you know his password, make sure he regrets that decision for the rest of his League Career.
STEP 2: Force Robert to play Master Yi jungle on your account all day long. Refuse to play anything but Heimerdinger on his account while you're over at his house.
STEP 3: Log into his account when he's trying to play and didn't give you permission, then feed really hard with Heimerdinger
STEP 4: Complain to everyone (especially Robert) about how you want Heimerdinger so badly. Log into your smurf and buy him on your smurf instead of gifting him to your main because you have Parkinson's disease.
STEP 5: Finally save up enough to play Heimerdinger, 1v1 Robert, lose (blame it on lag), and then make sure to play a normal and go 3/20 to Katarina, get discouraged and stop playing for a while.
Once you've followed all of these steps Robert will stop playing League with you and you'll be free to play Heimer 24/7
STEP 2: Force Robert to play Master Yi jungle on your account all day long. Refuse to play anything but Heimerdinger on his account while you're over at his house.
STEP 3: Log into his account when he's trying to play and didn't give you permission, then feed really hard with Heimerdinger
STEP 4: Complain to everyone (especially Robert) about how you want Heimerdinger so badly. Log into your smurf and buy him on your smurf instead of gifting him to your main because you have Parkinson's disease.
STEP 5: Finally save up enough to play Heimerdinger, 1v1 Robert, lose (blame it on lag), and then make sure to play a normal and go 3/20 to Katarina, get discouraged and stop playing for a while.
Once you've followed all of these steps Robert will stop playing League with you and you'll be free to play Heimer 24/7
Pros:
+Most ****ing annoying champion to lane against. (See: W)
+Good burst/poke with his W
+Stupid as **** pusher.
+Press R to escape any gank
+Steal enemy/Robert's buffs with ease.
Cons:
-Dies a lot when trying to counter jungle
-Gets hard countered by Katarina (See: 3/20)
-Needs ganks and babysitting 24/7 so Robert has no time to gank other lanes.
+Most ****ing annoying champion to lane against. (See: W)
+Good burst/poke with his W
+Stupid as **** pusher.
+Press R to escape any gank
+Steal enemy/Robert's buffs with ease.
Cons:
-Dies a lot when trying to counter jungle
-Gets hard countered by Katarina (See: 3/20)
-Needs ganks and babysitting 24/7 so Robert has no time to gank other lanes.
Laning Phase:
Make sure to barely help Robert with his leash and then beg for ganks 24/7 and demand blue buff all the time. When Robert reminds you that there are other lanes to be ganked, make sure to call him a noob and tell the enemy team to report him for harassment. When you feed and he tells you that your lane is hopeless, get mad at him. If Robert ganks your lane and actually gives you some hope, make sure to rage about him KSing when he accidentally gets the kill.
Teamfights:
Make sure to wait until the teamfight starts, then throw down 2 turrets and hit R. That's all you really need to do in teamfights. Make sure to steal kills with your W and miss your E because it's the ****ing hardest skillshot to land in the game. Seriously though, just KS with your W all day, it's so easy.
Other/Stealing Buffs:
Make sure to take Robert's buffs without asking and then wonder why he doesn't gank you. You can set up 2 turrets by the enemy blue because Robert won't give you a blue (See: "UGH ROBERT WHY'D YOU TAKE THAT KILL!). Wandering around in the enemy jungle until Katarina finds and kills you is a definite must. Make sure to bush camp if you have a Maokai on your team (especially if its glendogggy).
Make sure to barely help Robert with his leash and then beg for ganks 24/7 and demand blue buff all the time. When Robert reminds you that there are other lanes to be ganked, make sure to call him a noob and tell the enemy team to report him for harassment. When you feed and he tells you that your lane is hopeless, get mad at him. If Robert ganks your lane and actually gives you some hope, make sure to rage about him KSing when he accidentally gets the kill.
Teamfights:
Make sure to wait until the teamfight starts, then throw down 2 turrets and hit R. That's all you really need to do in teamfights. Make sure to steal kills with your W and miss your E because it's the ****ing hardest skillshot to land in the game. Seriously though, just KS with your W all day, it's so easy.
Other/Stealing Buffs:
Make sure to take Robert's buffs without asking and then wonder why he doesn't gank you. You can set up 2 turrets by the enemy blue because Robert won't give you a blue (See: "UGH ROBERT WHY'D YOU TAKE THAT KILL!). Wandering around in the enemy jungle until Katarina finds and kills you is a definite must. Make sure to bush camp if you have a Maokai on your team (especially if its glendogggy).
#10 Get really mad when playing League
#9 Complain about Galen
#8 Blame things on your "Parks"
#7 Bother Robert about learning his password
#6 Feed Kat
#5 Complain when Robert ganks other lanes
#4 Complain about Robert not giving you blues
#3 Complain when Robert "Doesn't gank right"
#2 Complain when Robert steals kills
#1 Go on Robert's account when he doesn't give you permission and feed in games.
#9 Complain about Galen
#8 Blame things on your "Parks"
#7 Bother Robert about learning his password
#6 Feed Kat
#5 Complain when Robert ganks other lanes
#4 Complain about Robert not giving you blues
#3 Complain when Robert "Doesn't gank right"
#2 Complain when Robert steals kills
#1 Go on Robert's account when he doesn't give you permission and feed in games.
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