Howdy!, I'm Paccu, and I have a regrettable amount of mastery on a champ as boring as Malphite.

So I thought, well, I've played this champ a whole lot, so why not try to MAKE him fun by turning him into a bush camping, adc-mood-ruining-hellspawn shaped like a sad rock.

100k M7 Malphite, all my experience is top, and some mid with this build, its more fun than normal malph, but it is not a great part of any team comp

How to play lane:

Level 1-5 is very slow, every time manaflow band is up, poke with Q like any other Malphite game
Farm until nearly to (or till) level 6 and maintain poke, most mid laners will be around half health from poke at this point

A simple cheese strat that works in low-elo (bronze-gold):
Back on 6 immediately with your laner at around half from poke, if they are too low they may also back so be weary, if not though, proceed to tp in and full combo them asap.

Its ok if you die pre-6, just always know: if they are half health, and you have ult, they are dead, just play safe and smart, only EVER engage with ult and your power will grow

Once you get Mythic and some seal stacks, thats when you begin 1-shotting squishies Play Video
Last Notes: You are very hard to kill in lane pre-6 due to Malphite's base stats and passive and you don't have many counter picks besides other cheese characters

As Full Ap Malphite, you don't front line, you do one of 2 things:

1. Pick off 1/2 health squishies and use Q speed to bail
2. Ult Whole Team and use Stopwatch/Zhonyas and pray

Look to warnings for deeper explanation

Please play smart, this build is a meme, but don't int your games because of it:

1. YOU ARE NOT A TANK AT ALL, VERY SQUISHY (this is a recurring theme amongst my builds)

2. Your'e built to get picks on high-priorety carries, that is your job

3. You do little to nothing to tanks, don't even bother with them (yes, even with void staff)

4. You only ever look to fight when your ult is available

5. You are great at trading due to how unsafe this build is, aim to find picks of at least 2 people if you intent to die along with them for diving so hard to make it worth for your team since you've subjected them to this build to begin with

Master the 1-shot rock:

1. Malphite has crazy base stats and a great passive so even when making this build, you are hard to kill pre-6 in lane

2. Once you hit lvl 6, you practically win lane if you aren't a moron

3. Stopwatch ins't a guaranteed way to save you, just use it to stall so your team can do what they want while the enemies try to finish you off before you throw another impact grenade (q)

4. You annihilate squishies (its comical) Play Video
5. Your ult cooldown will be really short late-game

6. Lastly, your combo is R->E->Q->W and start autoing till they die

Rewatch the vids above and tell me this doesn't look silly and goofy

Thank you for reading through this build and I hope you enjoy it/find success with it. Go check out my other serious and not-so serious other guides I have on champs like Sett, Mordekaiser, Garen, Jhin and more soon to come!

~Paccu