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Toshabi's Chamber of Critique

Creator: Toshabi December 15, 2014 10:07am
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Janitsu
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Permalink | Quote | PM | +Rep December 19, 2014 10:17am | Report
I'll make a serious request now:








What should I do to improve and make them look pertier?

Thanks to OwenTheAwesomer for the signature =)
NorthernRedStar
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Permalink | Quote | PM | +Rep December 19, 2014 2:09pm | Report
Toshabi wrote:



Masterpiece!

Any suggestions on this before I try adding font?


Where Trolls Fear To Tread
Signature by Xiaowiriamu

Toshabi
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Critique shop will be closed until Christmas. I'm working on a few projects of my own (and have been since Friday). Besides, I much prefer to do these critiques on one of these.


My apologies for any inconveniences, though, don't let this stop you from submitting in your requests.
MrCuddowls wrote:

Hahahaha telling me my items are bad HHAAHAHAHAHAHAHAhA
Listen buddy don't judge someone's items if your only level 13
This build is Platinum approved, Thats all you need to know










Toshabi
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I said I was going to be back on Christmas, but it turned out that

Janitsu wrote:
I'll make a serious request now:






What should I do to improve and make them look pertier?




Let's start on this one.


The good is that the color scheme is great on this piece. The blues and light colors compliment the color scheme of that skin for kennen. Additionally, the background pattern was a pretty nice choice to add some texture to the background to make it less boring.


What I feel could possibly use some work is the negative space management and placement of kennen. I feel that Kennen is a bit too centered for that action, and can benefit design wise by being placed a bit more to the right. Additionally, a suggestion to help with the negative space created on the left side would be to invest some time playing with the font to fill in the space. A larger font for the name wouldn't be all that bad to help balance out the space here.



Overall, it's a solid piece, but I think the negative space is what's ultimately making it seem as though something is missing.





This one, on the other hand, is much like the last one, except the background textures add in some strong accent to the negative space, which makes it more interesting to look at. Additionally, it complements the gesture overall of the character to some degree.


My only advice I would give about this one is positioning of the vector. I feel that the emphasis is inadvertently placed on her chest as opposed to the action overall. This is simply because the hands are cut out, which creates dissonance within the gesture. I suggest lowering down the vector image to help fix this so you can see the hands. You loose a bit of the chest, but I feel that you will have a stronger image overall.
jhoijhoi wrote:

Also, I think the levels of immorality in this thread are astounding. You'd really throw a child off a boat for your own luggage? Wow.





IPodPulse
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Permalink | Quote | PM | +Rep January 5, 2015 12:48am | Report
Do you mind critiquing this for me?

If you found me helpful give me some +Rep :)
Kadius
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Here is one for ye

Another one for ye

And I'm going to give you this because i want to learn how to make the text pop out more.

Thanks Toshabi ^_^
Like my post? Be sure to toss me a +Rep!

Credits to Amanda for making this... yeah, you're not having happy dreams tonight.
Janitsu
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Permalink | Quote | PM | +Rep January 6, 2015 7:24am | Report


did a quick edit to make sure I grasped the idea (not much to be changed tho if I did lol)
Toshabi
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I'm Starting up the warmachine again today.

IPodPulse wrote:
Do you mind critiquing this for me?



What I like:

The concept is strong and solid. Additionally, the font choice is strong in this one. It's kept close to the subject, which really complements the form overall. Additionally, I do like the fact that you kept everything in the same color hue.



What Needs Improvement:

While the concept and typography is great, the readability is skewed due to the background colros of the moon. "Dzaster" becomes incredibly hard to see due to the dark reds of the moon being similar in value as the type. Because of this, Dzaster can be mistakenly read as a variety of different words. Mind you, this is also a result of the font being light/thing in nature. At that size, readability is greatly hindered by the smallest of things.



How to Fix This:

I'd suggest going into the main file and simply flipping the moon image you used, having the dark side of the moon face on the left side and the light side of the moon on the right side (our right and left, mind you). This will give the text a brighter background to shine, allowing people to have an easier time reading he text. Below, I did a quick clone brush touch up to show this (It's shoddy due to me working quickly with a mouse rather than my tablet, but it shows the difference none the less). I simply took the clone brush and applied it on a new layer to swap the sides together since I didn't have the master file. I then went to the brightened layer and masked out the sections where the text was affected by the clone brush. As you can see, the type is much more easier to read when this is done.









Let me know if you have any questions or concerns regarding this critique.
jhoijhoi wrote:

Also, I think the levels of immorality in this thread are astounding. You'd really throw a child off a boat for your own luggage? Wow.





Toshabi
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Kadius wrote:

Here is one for ye

Another one for ye

And I'm going to give you this because i want to learn how to make the text pop out more.

Thanks Toshabi ^_^



It's all a matter of contrast at this point with these three submissions. The concept in them is all good and strong (And I do love the creativity you did with the shaco submission). It's always important to desaturate your images to see the values of them. This will give you a sense of how strong the text pops out in them (either it's too strong or it's too week). Rather than go on explaining this, I think it'd be easier to show you by dropping the saturation of your pictures to a gray scale.




Even on pictures I draw, I always make sure to first apply on the shading in gray scale to see what stands out and what blends together. With raster graphics and typography, this is also a good method to do to test how well your "signature selling point (90% of the time, the font)" stands out.



On this one, I beefed up the contrast by going over the font by simply duplicating the signature on another layer, applying a dodge to it and simply masking out everything but the text. Additionally, what needs to be beefed up on here is the font size. There is a lot of negative space below and above the signature, which makes it feel empty and uninteresting overall. The action of the graphic is a nice touch, so it should have font that compliments that. Make it big and loud!



The same treatment was done with this one, However, I feel like it could strongly benefit IF the font were white instead of opaque. It blends too much with the background. With lightening up in the fashion that I did, it stands on a bit more clearer, though, I feel the positioning of the font doesn't read well period in this one. The action of leblanc is pointing upward, and yet, the font is below her staff. Now, if we were to have the font out there, it'd look ****py, so the only logical place to put the font would be at the bottom right corner of this pose. It'd require that you revisit this graphic positioning and position it so that the action flows with the font. The viewer will first be drawn in by the tip of her staff. After flowing through her outfit, it'll then be brought to the font, which should be located near her left hand (our right). I believe you should give that arrangement a shot and see how the results look.




This was my favorite piece you did. However, it suffered greatly from contrast problems. If you are to do stand out font like this, always make sure it contrasts with the subject matter from the original piece. Even if you were to outline the letters in white or a contrasting color, readability will still kill this piece. That's why changing the value or even the hue of the cropped out letters is a must. I've simply applied dodge to this, mixed with hue/saturation control and added in a levels layer to bring out the readability in this. It was a quick touch up. If I had the original files, I feel like it could be done a bit better than what is shown above.




If you have any questions or concerns regarding this critique, let me know.
jhoijhoi wrote:

Also, I think the levels of immorality in this thread are astounding. You'd really throw a child off a boat for your own luggage? Wow.





The_Nameless_Bard
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Permalink | Quote | PM | +Rep April 30, 2015 7:07pm | Report

I'd love to hear your thoughts on this :3
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