A woman was speeding and a police officer pulled her over.
Woman: what can I do for you officer.
Office: You were speeding mamh can I see your drivers licence.
Woman: Oh sorry I can't do that I lost it.
Officer: what do you mean you lost it?
Woman: I lost it from drunk driving 3 times.
Officer: well can I see your car registration then?
Woman: nope, I can't do that either.
Officer: why not?
Woman: I stole this car and murdered the owner, he is cut up into little pieces in the trunk.
*officer then walks to his car and calls for back up*
*5 minutes later 3 police cruisers arrive*
*senior officer approchs the car with his gun drawn*
Senior Officer: Miss I was told that you stole this vechial and murdered the owner is that true?
Woman: NO, I did not!
Senior Officer: please open your trunk mahm.
*the trunk opens* *senior officer goes to look and finds nothing*
Senior Officer: I see nothing is back there can I take a look at your registration I was told this car is stolen.
*woman shows him registration*
Woman: anything else officer?
Senior Officer: I was told you don't have a drivers licence aswell.
*woman looks through her purse and pulls out her drivers licence*
Senior Officer: well it seems I was misinformed, I am sorry mahm.
Woman: yes, yes it does I bet that lieing officer even accused me of speeding.
Kinda old joke but, hey I find it funny :).
Woman: what can I do for you officer.
Office: You were speeding mamh can I see your drivers licence.
Woman: Oh sorry I can't do that I lost it.
Officer: what do you mean you lost it?
Woman: I lost it from drunk driving 3 times.
Officer: well can I see your car registration then?
Woman: nope, I can't do that either.
Officer: why not?
Woman: I stole this car and murdered the owner, he is cut up into little pieces in the trunk.
*officer then walks to his car and calls for back up*
*5 minutes later 3 police cruisers arrive*
*senior officer approchs the car with his gun drawn*
Senior Officer: Miss I was told that you stole this vechial and murdered the owner is that true?
Woman: NO, I did not!
Senior Officer: please open your trunk mahm.
*the trunk opens* *senior officer goes to look and finds nothing*
Senior Officer: I see nothing is back there can I take a look at your registration I was told this car is stolen.
*woman shows him registration*
Woman: anything else officer?
Senior Officer: I was told you don't have a drivers licence aswell.
*woman looks through her purse and pulls out her drivers licence*
Senior Officer: well it seems I was misinformed, I am sorry mahm.
Woman: yes, yes it does I bet that lieing officer even accused me of speeding.
Kinda old joke but, hey I find it funny :).
Anastasios
<Member>
<Member>
What does a lemon and an elephant have in common?
Neither can ride a bike.
One day, Stalin was writing a speech for a great celebration that would happen the next day.
AS he gets tired, he gets up and goes for a walk. When he return, he finds his pencil is missing. Not too troubled, he picks up another one and continues writing. When he gets up for another break, his pencil is missing again, so he gets yet another one. After many breaks and many lost pencils, he contacts the KGB, and tells them that someone is trying to sabotage his speech, and that they should find him immediately.
About half an hour later, he finishes his speech and gets up, and sees all the pencils have fallen under the table.
He calls back the KGB and says "Don't worry guys, it wasn't a sabotage, the pencils just fell off the table."
And the KGB guys respond "But sir, we have already caught 1000 suspects and 500 of them confessed!"
Neither can ride a bike.
One day, Stalin was writing a speech for a great celebration that would happen the next day.
AS he gets tired, he gets up and goes for a walk. When he return, he finds his pencil is missing. Not too troubled, he picks up another one and continues writing. When he gets up for another break, his pencil is missing again, so he gets yet another one. After many breaks and many lost pencils, he contacts the KGB, and tells them that someone is trying to sabotage his speech, and that they should find him immediately.
About half an hour later, he finishes his speech and gets up, and sees all the pencils have fallen under the table.
He calls back the KGB and says "Don't worry guys, it wasn't a sabotage, the pencils just fell off the table."
And the KGB guys respond "But sir, we have already caught 1000 suspects and 500 of them confessed!"
Keondre
<Member>
<Member>
Lol Skull, that lying little lady. rofl, made me chuckle xD
ì‚¬ëž‘ì€ ìž¥ë‹˜ì´ë‹¤. | ความงามในความà¹à¸‚็งà¹à¸£à¸‡. | æ„›ã¯æ²»ç™‚ã§ã™.
no 1900
@Tosh THAT IRELIA *pulls hair*
@Tosh THAT IRELIA *pulls hair*
Thanks to TRUeLM, Plastictree, Scrax, Xiaowiriamu, foggy12, JahGFX, jhoijhoi, msrobinson, JEFFY40HANDS, Nyoike, MissMaw, and me :) for the sigs!
ExamplePrime
<Member>
<Member>
Why did the girl fall off her bike?
She got hit by a fridge.
She got hit by a fridge.
Shameless plug: www.youtube.com/Exampleprime
---
I play games, I write stories. And I make youtube videos that are way to long.
---
I play games, I write stories. And I make youtube videos that are way to long.
You need to log in before commenting.
<Member>