Humor Guide by mastajdog
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the screwers
Ability Sequence
Not Updated For Current Season
The masteries shown here are not yet updated for the current season, the guide author needs to set up the new masteries. As such, they will be different than the masteries you see in-game.
Masteries
this build
was specifically designed with a few things in mind. first, a level 1 Starcall can reduce the enemies' magic resistance up to 160. combined with -10 from 
Dread -24 from 
Malady and minus 20 from abissal scepter, they lose up to 214 mr. but there's more than just mr that they can lose.
30% armor from 
Crushing Blow. 40 from 
Spirit Fire. 20 from stark's ferver. 45 from 
The Black Cleaver. and there's still more. 10 each from improved 
Exhaust.
also from exahust, movement speed down 40%. 110% movement speed from 
Wither. 35% movement speed from 
Randuin's Omen. 26% from 
Seismic Shard. running around crazially for 3 seconds from 
Terrify. 35% from ryali's crystal scepter. 40% from 
Frozen Mallet
and still more. losing 50% attack speed from 
Ground Slam. -20 from 
Frozen Heart. -35 from Randuin's Omen.
possible totals:
-234 magic resistance
-30% and 155 armor
-250% movement speed
-105 attack speed.
good times.
so... what does this mean?
ideally, if your opponnent started at the normal 10 armor, 30 mr, then they are taking:67% INCREASED magic damage and 60% increased physical damage.
that freaking 
Master Yi is now hitting at half his previous speed.
nobody on your opponnent's team can move.
you just dropped 
Dr. Mundo 94% of his max health with only 
Deathfire Grasp. lolz on him.
summoner spells
exhaust i got for obvious reasons
Teleport allows for nearly constant laning
Smite for fiddle... he's the jungler. why wouldn't he take this?
Clairvoyance for soraka only if she knows how to use this. otherwise take 
Clarity or 
Heal with the respective masteries.
Laning tips
don't push early game. i know it's hard, but don't push unless it's a team push. why, you ask.
if you push:
pro's =gold faster
a few hits on their tower
cons-you are easially ganked
you are succeptible to hits by the tower.
you're force-feeding the other team exp
if you don't push-
pro's
you can gank the other guy.
you are more likely to get last-hits because you're not buisy auto-attacking sombody down
you can't get ganked easily
their tower can't tough you
cons: you lose a few hits on their tower
WHEN CAN I PUSH, YOU ASK
iff (if and only if)
(a) you are about to port back because you have 2000 + gold
(b) your team just aced the other team
(c) the enemy jungler, roamer, and your laning opponnent are all dead (just don't push for too long
(d) you guys just finished a team fight that you guys won
(e) they're at the turret of yours in the same lane
(f) you have 2+ other teammates with you
laning
top:
Nasus. he'll be soloing, and should do it well.
mid:
Wukong would have to be good, but it can be done.
bot: malfite
jungle: fiddle
roamer: soraka
looks funny, but done right, can work well. still, look at the next chaper please
this should give your team a huge gold and exp advantage. poor 
Soraka will be underleveled, but as long as she gets lvl 6, she'll do just fine. and taking the full utility tree for both fiddle and sokra will make a big difference with that.
TEAMFIGHT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!1
you should have nasus and/or malfite initiating. pop all exhausts now to keep therm there so that you can immediately bring in soraka and let her Starcall all day long. have fiddle 
Crowstorm and bring in the pain once everybody's about at -100 mr. Wukong should be wreaking havock with his combos and 
Cyclone by now.
anybody left by now gets Terrifyed and 
Drained by fiddle. still there? Wither Seismic Shard should give you enough time to wipe them out.
in conclusion
this is filed under humorous as this team composition and item builds are sketchy at best. however, anybody that can try it out please do so and tell me how it went.
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