Hello everyone its been a long time. So long in fact that future historians may notice I'm using runes and masteries from 2016 despite this being published sometime in 2018. This discrepancy almost seeming to suggest I were some sort of procrastinating pleb who never finishes anything they start. But as they say:

- Better late than Half-Life 3


Moving on, I realize that in my absence League has basically devolved into complete madness. The jungle has been changed another 12 times, the first tower is now your rich grandfather whom you must kill to obtain the family inheritance, and you are now legally required to sign a waver form before attempting raptors.

On the upside almost all the players are now Genji players so at least we don't have to deal with that anymore. In other news scientists have discovered that the color green has the curious property of attracting cancer cells.

Welcome once again to one of my guides straight from the fabled archives themselves. This one is all about the ghost of a man - one who faked his death and now lives among us unseen. Our blind stares always looking hard, unable to realize that we never see the G-P.

First begin spikey gloves ( ) and 2 estus ( ) making sure to ignore your idiot rejected arts student of an ADC . Next, invade the enemy jungle and mug them outside of their starting buff - if the enemy jungler is an or it's probably best not to kill them in case you appear racist.

In this case use your support as a sacrifice to escape and then blame them for the bad invade. If a support is not available or you accidentally killed the enemy jungler and fear you may now appear racist, simply inform all-chat that it's OK as you intend to run for president.

In lane use your to mug your lane opponent with which as mentioned in the mastery notes is definitely NOT racist. Feel free to also farm your teammates lanes and follow your jungler around securing their camps. If either complain simply inform them that you're just "getten green like you're supposed to" and you "ain't stopping till you well paid".

By this stage in the game you should have finished your and be almost done with your . Don't worry about purchasing boots as you'll be taping knives to your feet late-game instead.

As soon as your is complete you can begin to run your emulation of the latest Tom Clancy game - Tom Clancy's Crit Plank. In this game you play as a rogue special forces member with a mysterious past in your quest to become the greatest diplomat in the world via .

Remember to leave a few outside bushes to confuse your opponents while you go back to mug their jungler which is now OK even they're an but not if they're a since she's just trying to be a strong dependent black woman. The exception to this is if they're using the Sakura skin but only so long as you don't have a on your team as that would be historically insensitive.

You may also need to take over as ADC at this stage as your is probably composing Emumu levels of poetry. Similar to if he was in fact playing the correct response is to tell him he's a loser and it's not OK to display emotions in public.

By now your build should be complete and with your triple move-speed items including your ghost-knife-feet, you will now move so fast you become invisible. During this stage make sure to go kill Barry Allen's mother to maintain the current timeline.

With your new found invisibility you should be able to move through the jungle eliminating the enemy team in a series muggings gone wrong. Be sure to avoid opera houses so you don't have to deal with another Batman reboot next year. Similarly avoid though mostly because if you've ever listened to him you'll realize he's completely ****ing loony-toons.

Now coordinate with your team ( ) and work together to take down Lovecraftian-Monstrosity-B Baron-Nashor and push down mid-lane. With super minions your team should be able to push for the win but as you do so you'll unfortunately suffer an Opium overdose and die.

The moral of the story is that what the Tracer did to Mei was pretty uncalled for.

Thanks again for reading another League Of Chapman guide. Under my current release schedule you should be able to expect another guide somewhere in a time-frame of FF-XV to F*CK YOU VALVE YOU F*CKERS YOU DON'T GET TO PLAY WITH MY HEART LIKE THIS!

Be sure to check out my other still completely relevant guides such as:

Super Tank Regen Master Defend Mundo

Mega Inferno Flaming Hot Dog Nasus

and be sure to look forward to future guides such as:


Unstoppable Kenyan AD

Legit Just Run In And Die

Toaru Kagaku no

and much much more!