jhoijhoi's review & discussion service

[quote=-NA- Veng Lmfao]Name: Veng Lmfao Link: [url=http://www.mobafire.com/league-of-legends/build/dragonslaying-adc-329861]vayne guide[/url] Did you comment on my Guide to Making a Guide just now? YES Have you run your guide through a spell check? YES Yea, I agree with MissMaw though. You already know your guide is fantastic :D[/quote]

[quote=jhoijhoi][b]Review Services Open.[/b] I have updated the original post to reflect changes to my grading criteria. ----------------------------------------- [columns] [nextcol width=100][color=#0080ff][b]NAME[/b][/color] -------------------------------- -NA- Veng Lmfao [nextcol width=30] [nextcol width=100][color=#ff8000][b]CHAMPION[/b][/color] -------------------------------- [url=http://www.mobafire.com/league-of-legends/build/dragonslaying-adc-329861]SR ADC Vayne[/url] [nextcol width=30] [nextcol width=100][color=#0080ff][b]RATING[/b][/color] ------------------------------- [color=#008000]8[/color] [nextcol width=30] [nextcol width=100][color=#ff8000][b]DATE[/b][/color] --------------------------- 02/10/13 [/columns] [spoiler=-NA- Veng Lmfao's ADC Vayne Guide Review] As per your request for a review [url=http://www.mobafire.com/league-of-legends/forum/build-and-guide-discussion/will-review-for-food-i-will-read-your-guide-6053]here[/url] :) [b]CHEAT SHEET[/b] ----------------- + Your notes for "Build Into" have Cutlass spelt wrong. + "Choose 2" allows poor choices. Warmog's and Randuin's? GA + Mercurial? I think you should break this up into "offense" and "defence" paths. + Thoughts on Zephyr? + Why max Tumble first? [b]GUIDE[/b] ---------------- + "a movement / attack damage steroid." > Are you referring to Tumble? o.o + "Her skillset is aimed at having a passive laning phase" o.o I don't think this is what you mean. Her skillset is extremely aggressive. + Pros explanation is written poorly, in my honest opinion. It sounds jumbled up. + "very passive laner"? + This is the English teacher coming out of me, but "these glyps are outstanding" means nothing. "These glyphs are outstanding at fulfilling Vayne's MR needs" means something. + Instead of saying "xx is helpful", explain why it is helpful. What does 3 AD mean for Vayne? Put it into perspective for the reader. + "8% armor ignore"? :P + Flash isn't sneaky. + Last time I checked, Ignite ticks through Barrier, thus claiming Barrier doesn't get countered by Ignite is erroneous. + I wouldn't get Exhaust on Vayne. + "huge threat to your opponent, simple because" + "Visit Technical Play for an in-depth explanation." < make this linkable. + This is a small thing, but I consider it unprofessional to write words as symbols (&) in the middle of a proper paragraph. + Something I've noticed in your guide is the incredible amount of repetition. "Great for initiating a gank, immobilizing an opponent or for fleeing" + "Amazing for initiating a gank, immobilizing a target or for fleeing" = boring. If you're going to write a summary of the ability, don't repeat yourself in the "tldr" section. + "can also interrupt some dashes" > I do believe that other abilities have priority over Condemn. Technically you can't interrupt Bladesurge. If Irelia dives you, she dives you. You can always Condemn her away after, but not during her animation; in my experience. + A successful fully maxed Condemn does more damage than a fully maxed Silver Bolts proc. + I am truly disliking the repetitive nature of your guide. Everything "new" is already covered elsewhere. Think of rewriting aspects of your guide that are copy pasta. + "Not recommended to buy" > then why is it in the guide? + What about other boots? Enchantments? Elixirs? + I feel like you waste a lot of space with your synergy section. + With regards to both your synergy and opponent section, I'm not sure why you have such a long introduction. You end up repeating yourself about the champions you use as examples. + I've already told you about how I feel regarding your gameplay images. I think another reason I don't like them is the chosen text font. + I would not waste Condemn on a last hit. + Tumble reset works against all solid objects. [b]APPEARANCE[/b] (2.5/3) ------------- + I like the coding in your guide. A lot of it is very familiar to me, having seen it across MobaFire, or coded similar layouts myself. I especially enjoyed your colour scheme and how the monotony of the text was broken by relevant and aesthetically pleasing banners, icons and dividers. What brings your mark down for me is the gameplay images which are hard to read. [b]CONTENT[/b] (2/3) ---------------- + A lot of your content seems like copy+paste. That was probably not intentional. I realise that is difficult to keep each chapter fresh and unique from the information before it. But by the 3rd or 4th time I read about Life Steal via runes/masteries/etc, I was sick of it. I was surprised to note that there didn't seem to be a certain "depth" to the guide as I was expecting. For instance, despite the repetitive nature of detailing to me the importance of why life steal is necessary on Vayne, you never mention WHY. I'm not exaggerating here, I reread the guide to see if you ever mentioned why life steal is so important on her. (maybe you don't know why?) From reading your guide, I feel as if you actually may not have a good working knowledge of Vayne. I mean this as respectfully as possible, but the guide seems shallow. It's got heaps of bells and whistles, but doesn't have the content I was expecting, especially when I think of your other guides, like your Udyr one. [b]VIABILITY[/b] (3.5/4) --------------- + I would definitely play Vayne the way you've outlined in your guide. I especially like the mastery choices, as they make particular sense for Vayne. What I didn't like was the item build paths in the cheat sheet. Pre-30s use this site and things need to be spelt out for them from the beginning (not multiple times throughout the guide). If you don't want to see Vayne's buying Boots, BotRK, PD, Warmog's, Mercurial's and Mallet, you need to be clearer by what you mean in the purchase order. [b]TOTAL = 8/10[/b] ----------------------------- + I already upvoted your guide ages ago! Your guide is good. Better than the average MobaFire guide, by leaps and bounds in terms of viability and appearance. However, your content is lacking in my opinion. It may simply be neglect to link real knowledge with known knowledge; I know, for example, why attack speed is great on Vayne, but why isn't Shiv explained better? How can Shiv's passive benefit Vayne? According to your guide, Shiv's passive isn't as good as Phantom's. Is that true in all cases of every single game? Or, Last Whisper penetrates more armour than Black Cleaver. So? What does that MEAN? etc etc. Off to uni, hope my review was helpful! - jhoijhoi[/spoiler][/quote]

[quote=XKillerMachineXx]Name: XKillerMachineXx Link: http://www.mobafire.com/league-of-legends/build/immortal-skarner-336904 Did you read my Guide to Making a Guide just now? YES Have you run your guide through a spell check? YES[/quote]

[quote=Jovy]did you change it now or was I just seeing things? uuh either way I redid my Janna guide so why not. [color=#9869F6]>[/color]Name: MissMaw [color=#9869F6]>[/color]Link: http://www.mobafire.com/league-of-legends/build/youll-be-blown-away-284297 [color=#9869F6]>[/color]Did you read my Guide to Making a Guide just now? yeah, ages ago though [color=#9869F6]>[/color]Have you run your guide through a spell check? not recently but there are no spelling or grammar errors for sure.[/quote]

[quote=-NA- Veng Lmfao]Thanks for the review Jhoi! I'll get to updating when I have an hour or 2![/quote]

[quote=jhoijhoi][columns] [nextcol width=100][color=#0080ff][b]NAME[/b][/color] -------------------------------- XKillerMachineXx [nextcol width=30] [nextcol width=100][color=#ff8000][b]CHAMPION[/b][/color] -------------------------------- [url=http://www.mobafire.com/league-of-legends/build/immortal-skarner-336904]Jungle Skarner[/url] [nextcol width=30] [nextcol width=100][color=#0080ff][b]RATING[/b][/color] ------------------------------- [color=#008000]6/10[/color] [nextcol width=30] [nextcol width=100][color=#ff8000][b]DATE[/b][/color] --------------------------- 03/08/13 [/columns] [spoiler=XKillerMachineXx's Jungle Skarner Guide Review] As per your request for a review [url=http://www.mobafire.com/league-of-legends/forum/build-and-guide-discussion/will-review-for-food-i-will-read-your-guide-6053]here[/url] :) [b]CHEAT SHEET[/b] ----------------------- + I'd recommend deleting your other cheat sheets and consolidating the information into one. + "EARLYGAME" is two words. + Broken image - Runic Bulwark + Your NOTES are terrible. You can't wikicode inside notes. + Your "CORE" build is all out of order, looks really unprofessional. + I seriously dislike the "SITUATIONAL PURCHASES" item selection. Separate these items into categories, like "defense" or "against AP". The way it is now, just looks like you've just tagged every item for a jungler with AP ratios :/ + I don't play Skarner, but a healing ability ([[fracture]]) in the jungle makes a lot of sense - not grabbing it at all until level 13 makes no sense. [b]GUIDE[/b] -------------------- + Your introduction is fine, but you could move the signature sized banner above the text, *inside* the columns for a neat and orderly look. + I understand English isn't your nature language. Try reading aloud. "Skarner is an actually very fun to play champion" should be "Skarner is actually a very fun champion to play". + Coding template error on my part, but add a column between the summary and the explanation in the pros/cons section. + "fastest runner"? I think I'll stop mentioning weird uses of English. I recommend asking for a beta reader. + The copy+paste sections of Skarner's abilities should be in a different colour or italicised so the reader knows that reading it is useless. + Never say "no tips"; if you have nothing to say about an ability, or an item, or whatever, just don't say anything. + I like the screenshots of Skarner's abilities. + I feel like your synergies chapter is based off of one game. It seems sort of useless. + Are you sure you spell-checked this guide? "Rupture stopps you"? I'm finding HEAPS of spelling errors. One of the conditions of my reviewing is that you MUST spell check your guide before asking for a review. I am not a spell checker. I should not have to struggle to read your guide due to spelling errors. "so you can strick to some tips", really. + I don't like your AP Items section. + Route: Smiteless Blue Buff and then straight to Red Buff is an absolutely amazing route. Stopping to jungle the small camps leaves your second buff open to counter-jungling. + "Route(lvl16) - this is terrible and should be deleted. + "Timers" - what do you mean? You need to explain chapters like this in great detail, as they ARE very important. + I like your ganking graphics and accompanying text. + I loved your analysis of Smite except the advice not to use Smite on any other minions besides objectives. That's not correct. If you KNOW an objective is coming up, save Smite. Otherwise use Smite as much as possible, especially with the Mastery upgrade for cash-on-Smite. + Love your warding section and the summary at the end of it :) + "System Specifics" - this should be Spoilered, as the chapter doesn't really fit your guide at all. + lol at that Kog'Maw blue buff steal :P + "efford", really??? D: + All of your "To Do" list is centred. You should spoiler it all, as it's not interesting/relevant to the reader anyway. [b]READABILITY (1.5/3)[/b] ---------------------- + So let's cover the positives first. You seem to have a good grasp of BBCoding and you've using that advantageously with solid coding techniques. Your graphic artist has done a nice job on the banners, which separate the chapters well. I enjoyed your visual aides, such as the ones for Skarner's abilities, the jungle and ganking routes. All these are great! Now for the bad things. I know English isn't your native language; it really shows. You have typos, grammatical errors and spelling mistakes everywhere. Your written work starts off relatively okay, but declines in quality the further you get through reading the guide. Sometimes what you've written doesn't make much sense initially, and I'm forced to really think about what you've meant. Your chapters flow well sometimes, but I feel like some chapters are out of place, or can be merged together. You can improve your score here by leaps and bounds by actually running the guide through a spell check, like you claimed you did. [b]CONTENT (2/3)[/b] ----------------------- + There is actually a lot to like about your guide. I was surprised with the jungle knowledge in this guide, and I specifically enjoyed reading your different strategies and techniques in the jungle for ganking and securing buffs. What I didn't like were the ability, item, runes, masteries and synergies sections. I felt like the content was severely lacking in these chapters. I personally would remove the synergies chapter all together. The other chapters need more depth. You explain that xx rune gives xx - WHY is that good for Skarner? You mention that xx item gives xx stat - HOW does this item benefit Skarner? You say xx active of xx item is great - WHEN do you use this active and why? You need to extrapolate on all this knowledge and deliver us some content that is invaluable. [b]VIABILITY (2.5/4)[/b] ------------------------ I question some of your item choices. Atma's is awful. Thornmail is highly situational. Warmog's is costly for a jungler. Do you really need Elder Lizard? Why don't you grab an early level of [[fracture]]? Again, I don't play Skarner, but these questions/points are intuitive. You need to rework the cheat sheet - for example, have a look at [url=http://www.mobafire.com/league-of-legends/build/wanderlust-warwick-132336]my Warwick cheat sheet.[/url] I break down the item choices into an easy build path; readers don't have to make many decisions. [b]TOTAL = 6/10[/b] ------------------------ What I really like about the guide is your jungling chapters which are full of knowledge. What I dislike is pretty much everything else. I can tell you're a dedicated author and that you are willing to improve. If you focus on the following things, I guarantee your guide will be better: 1) Fix your cheat sheet to be far more comprehensible and remove objects that don't make sense (Atma's). 2) Read it to an English speaking friend. Fix up the stilted language, grammatical and spelling errors and your paragraphs. 3) Remove chapters of your guide that are useless (synergies) and work on merging chapters that can go together. 4) Expand on the information you currently have. Your guide is [url=http://www.javascriptkit.com/script/script2/countwords.shtml]4300 words[/url] long. And at least 1000 of it is useless due to poor wording. Consider printing off the text in your guide and using a red pen to cross out anything that doesn't make sense without pictures. You'll soon see that a lot of your descriptions need more explanation. Pictures are great - but pictures aren't great if they just "fluff" up your guide and don't really do anything. As always, I'll upvote when you reply to my review, and I hope this review helps you out! - jhoijhoi <3[/spoiler][/quote]

[quote=OTGBionicArm]Name: OTGBionicArm, Sona Mai Waifu, Jennifer. CHoose whatever you want. :3 Link: [url=http://www.mobafire.com/league-of-legends/build/taric-complete-guide-to-outrageous-secret-powers-338320]TRULY OUTRAGEOUS[/url] Did you comment on my Guide to Making a Guide just now? Yup Have you run your guide through a spell check? Yup[/quote]

[quote=jhoijhoi]No liiiiiiinks, no revieeeeeew, Jennifer.[/quote]

[quote=OTGBionicArm]There is a link in my signature -.-[/quote]

[quote=jhoijhoi]And the review is in my head, would you like me to type it out, or would you rather try mind reading it from me <3[/quote]