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jhoijhoi's review & discussion service

Creator: jhoijhoi June 29, 2011 5:44pm
Aharan
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Yeah. Don't review anything if you don't have to.
(but if you do, make sure it's mine.) :D
Searz
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jhoijhoi wrote:

Scrax's Janna Guide

1) Your section style is a common theme throughout your guide, so I imagine you're going to keep it that way no matter what. My opinion is that it looks a little bit bland. The Summoner Spells run into each other, as do the Abilities. I'd suggest adding in some colour or formatting. I realise that you may consider coding, formatting and colour gaudy, but it does wonders with regards to keep the attention of your readers.

9) So I don't know if you'll listen to me or not, but I think your chapter order is all over the place. Generally I enjoy guides more when they flow. So from all the pre-game stuff (masteries, runes, summoner spells) to the in-game stuff (items, gameplay, etc).

1) What I tried telling him.

9) Yea, those are exactly my thoughts on how you should order the chapters. Pre-game stuff->Ingame stuff.
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jhoijhoi
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Aharan's Corki Guide
Verdict: A bare-bones Corki guide that tries too hard to cater for too many different builds, thus it doesn't focus on any build with enough depth.
Possible Improvements: The organisation needs to be tidied up, as does the coding and formatting. The guide is screaming for colour. Some sections just seemed like waffle and didn't seem necessary. The guide/build isn't bad, but it isn't great (though admittedly it is better than some of the Pro guides out there). It seems like the author could try a little bit harder with his guide to make it 100x better :)

Constructive Criticism:

1) I say this to all people who present more than one actual "Champ Builds". Don't. Display the build you use 90% of the time, and list the other items as Situational Items.

2) Now that Phosphorus Bomb doesn't blind, I imagine you're not going to be levelling that up first anymore, right?

4) Your AD build (the only cheat sheet I'll be looking at) Purchase order is weird. Would you really buy a Long Sword before Tear of the Goddess?

5) 0/21/9 is not something I'm used to seeing on AD carries.

6) Good Hands > Perseverance, especially as you'll be getting Tear of the Goddess asap.

7) Don't Bold Font whole paragraphs. Trying to read that intro gave me a headache. And you've clearly not read over it again, because there are small errors like, "The date falls me". lol.

8) Pre-game stuff THEN In-game stuff:

Welcome to the World of Corki™
Pros / Cons
Runes
Masteries
Skills and their Sequences
Summoner Spells
Core Items
AD/Manamune and AD/Trinity Force other items.
AP other items
Laning 101
Summary
Change Logs.

9) I'd suggest something like this:

Section x: AD Build
Section x+1: Sheen AD
Section (x+1)+1: AP Build

And in each section state the builds and the items you'd get in them. This would:

1. Remove the unnecessary section "Core Items"
2. Be more comprehensive
3. Look neater.

10) You clearly know how to use and implement icons, which makes me wonder why you don't...

11) "Corki, the Daring Bombadier" - Not sure why you keep copy/pasting this everywhere...

12) I forgot to comment on your Summoners - even though Corki has an in-built escape, that doesn't mean Flash isn't a good idea.

13) :/ You try to be funny in your guide, but it just comes off as a bit silly ("DID YOU GUESS CORRECTLY?" - this really isn't necessary). I feel your guide would be a lot lighter and more comprehensive if you focused on one build and just listed alternatives.

Alternative Runes. Alternative Masteries. Alternative Items. No need to state every single way the champion can be played. If I want an AP Corki guide, I would rather read a guide purely devoted to an AP Corki. If I wanted to read about AD Corki - I'd read a guide completely devoted to AD Corki. I feel as if in you're guide you're trying to cater for every aspect of Corki, when you should just be focusing on the build you play 90% of the time.

14) Hextech Shrapnel Shells is not turning up in your guide.

15) No need to copy and paste from the database. Just list what you know/explain the abilities in your own words. Adding colour and definitions to your guide would be beneficial as well. Everything da_Neo said about the Garen guide applies to you as well. If you have not yet read my guide about writing a guide, as I explicitly expressed before you request a review, I ask you to read it now. It's in my signature and on the first post of this thread.

16) Please use Headings sparingly. You spam them everywhere, taking away what our eyes should be focusing on. Also, center all videos and images.

If that was harsh, it's because I'm tired and am sick and the two make me a mean lady.
jhoijhoi
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Reviewable Guides

Would you mind reviewing my new Soraka guide? XD
Guide For (champion): Soraka
Why I'd like this to be Reviewed: Revamped it and want a second opinion
What I'd like you to focus on: Whatever you feel needs to be commented on
Guide Link: http://www.mobafire.com/league-of-legends/build/ap-soraka-no-my-horn-doesnt-poke-through-my-deathcap-104646

lefze wrote:

Guide For (champion): Garen
Why I'd like this to be Reviewed: My first guide. Dont know how well the items willwork, as havent really tried the build yet. the reason for this is that im not at home, and i dont have a proper computer with me.
What I'd like you to focus on: The items primary. Ill rework formatting when i get my hands on a proper computer
Guide Link: http://www.mobafire.com/league-of-legends/build/garen-the-healthy-killer-updated-101717

L1LShadow wrote:

Guide For: General Tanking (no specific champion)
Why I'd like this to be Reviewed: Criticism and publicity(I know I need attention :3).
What I'd like you to focus on: Explaination, Format, or your criterion.
Guide Link: General Tanking Guide

Slowly catching up ^^
jhoijhoi
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NamelessBard's AP Soraka Guide
Verdict: A different Soraka approach. Edit: A comprehensive AP Soraka Guide.
Possible Improvements: Needs alteration of colour, maybe some images. Runes need a re-think, and possibly a rethink of the items too. Not your typical support build, so it's hard to get your head around trying to think of Soraka as an AP Mage, not a support bot. Edit: The guide has definitely improved in terms of written knowledge and build purchase, but the author still needs to work on coding, formatting and generally creating a visually pleasing guide that entrances the reader to keep reading :)

Constructive Criticism:

1) UNICORNS!!!!!!! :P

2) Quints of Avarice? :/ Straight off the bat a GP5 is better by far. And of course as this is an AP Soraka, Kage's Pick is worth it's weight in gold :)

3) I find your skilling order interesting.

4) I love that Soraka image in your intro. Did you make it?

5) You could add some colour into your guide (especially to your Pros/Cons)

6) Why aren't the summoner spells iconated? ie: Clairvoyance

7) I'd only list the top 5 or 6 summoner spells, and not mention the rest.

8) You could make all your sections a tad more attractive with coding, formatting and colour.

9) The Doran's Shield start would be for the health, I imagine, not the armour?

10) Your sections about Mejai's and Spirit Visage should just be in a FAQ at the end of your guide in one section so they don't take up space.

11) Your organisation of chapters is confusing. Order from pre-game stuff (masteries, runes, skill explanations/sequence) to in-game stuff (items, gameplay etc).

12) Your skill sequence section should be combined with your skill explanation section.

13) Center all images.

14) Code things. ie: Infuse

15) Combine Early, Mid and Late Game into one section and just separate with a line separator and/or larger headings.

16) No summary?

I don't know if you've read my guide about making a guide (but I was sure you had? o.O), but it has some tips in it on how to make a guide more aesthetically pleasing :)
The_Nameless_Bard
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jhoijhoi wrote:

NamelessBard's AP Soraka Guide
Verdict: A different Soraka approach. Edit: A comprehensive AP Soraka Guide.
Possible Improvements: Needs alteration of colour, maybe some images. Runes need a re-think, and possibly a rethink of the items too. Not your typical support build, so it's hard to get your head around trying to think of Soraka as an AP Mage, not a support bot. Edit: The guide has definitely improved in terms of written knowledge and build purchase, but the author still needs to work on coding, formatting and generally creating a visually pleasing guide that entrances the reader to keep reading :)

Constructive Criticism:

1) UNICORNS!!!!!!! :P

2) Quints of Avarice? :/ Straight off the bat a GP5 is better by far. And of course as this is an AP Soraka, Kage's Pick is worth it's weight in gold :)

3) I find your skilling order interesting.

4) I love that Soraka image in your intro. Did you make it?

5) You could add some colour into your guide (especially to your Pros/Cons)

6) Why aren't the summoner spells iconated? ie: Clairvoyance

7) I'd only list the top 5 or 6 summoner spells, and not mention the rest.

8) You could make all your sections a tad more attractive with coding, formatting and colour.

9) The Doran's Shield start would be for the health, I imagine, not the armour?

10) Your sections about Mejai's and Spirit Visage should just be in a FAQ at the end of your guide in one section so they don't take up space.

11) Your organisation of chapters is confusing. Order from pre-game stuff (masteries, runes, skill explanations/sequence) to in-game stuff (items, gameplay etc).

12) Your skill sequence section should be combined with your skill explanation section.

13) Center all images.

14) Code things. ie: Infuse

15) Combine Early, Mid and Late Game into one section and just separate with a line separator and/or larger headings.

16) No summary?

I don't know if you've read my guide about making a guide (but I was sure you had? o.O), but it has some tips in it on how to make a guide more aesthetically pleasing :)


1. XD yea yea yea I know, bad tag is bad

2. I have both...the build has a philosopher's stone in it and I comment on the others in the early game section XD

3. Like bad interesting? XD

4. I did =D

5. Will do, totally forgot

6. Oops...XD

7. I just like to come up with amusing things for the bad ones.

8. Will work on that

9. Doran's Ring gives the same health. The main reason for the Doran's Shield start is that it gives better general survivability than a Doran's Ring does.

10. Will do.

11. I will move runes and masteries up before items.

12. Ah...will do.

13. OOh yea forgot the ward image.

14. Yup...got lazy on that one.

15. Will add TL:DR section at the end.

THANKS!

I have but I got kind of lazy when I put this together
XDDDD
jhoijhoi
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Doran's Shield - 120 Health
Doran's Ring - 100 Health

^^

And no problem :P (HOW DID YOU MAKE THAT SORAKA IMAGE? It's so pretty!)
The_Nameless_Bard
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jhoijhoi wrote:

Doran's Shield - 120 Health
Doran's Ring - 100 Health

^^

And no problem :P (HOW DID YOU MAKE THAT SORAKA IMAGE? It's so pretty!)

*FACEPALM*
It's still for the overall survivability the item gives, even if I screwed up how much health you get from it.

I put a plasma overlay over the image. Plasma is a multicolored turbulent gradient, usually in bright neon colors (it's a layer option in GIMP). So...if you get GIMP I could show you how to achieve the same effect...
ChefoSLR
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Greeting, jhoijhoi!
A mate of mine recommended you as a very good reviewer.

Guide for: Leona

Reasons why I'd like you review it: I put a lot of effort into this guide, I think it follows the standard format with a pinch of creativity. I've gone into detail about a lot of the strategy needed for a proper Leona play. Overall, I think you'll enjoy the work put into this guide.

What I'd like you to focus on: The style of the guide, my take on the masteries and item paths.

Link: http://www.mobafire.com/league-of-legends/build/leona-a-new-dawn-for-tanks-104374

You've already read Piksel4o's Malzahar guide. I try to follow his example, so hopefully you'll like it. Thanks in advance!
wRAthoFVuLK
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sick? with what? :(

feel bettar

and gratzi on the sticky :)

Thanks to TRUeLM, Plastictree, Scrax, Xiaowiriamu, foggy12, JahGFX, jhoijhoi, msrobinson, JEFFY40HANDS, Nyoike, MissMaw, and me :) for the sigs!

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