Click to open network menu
Join or Log In
Mobafire logo

Join the leading League of Legends community. Create and share Champion Guides and Builds.

Create an MFN Account






Or

It's time for the Midseason 12 Guide Contest! Create or update guides in the following weeks for the chance to win up to $200 in prizes! 🏆
's Forum Avatar

jhoijhoi's review & discussion service

Creator: jhoijhoi June 29, 2011 5:44pm
guiken
<Member>
guiken's Forum Avatar
Posts:
22
Joined:
Jun 28th, 2011
Permalink | Quote | PM | +Rep July 25, 2011 10:47am | Report
jhoijhoi wrote:

Guiken's Leona Guide
Verdict: This is an extensive and very well-written Leona guide.
Possible Improvements: The author has the depth and knowledge down pat, they now just need to work on the aesthetics of the guide in terms of colour, coding, formatting and adding in images for visual relief. The author should also try to condense some of the information in the guide. The only other thing that has irked me about the author's guide is the lack of structure.

I recommend reading over my Guide about Writing a Guide and try to implement the coding and section structure I've provided there. ie: all the pre-game stuff should be at the beginning of the guide (pros/cons, summoners, skill explanation), all the in-game stuff should be towards the end of the guide (gameplay, items).
[...]


Really appreciated the great feedback here I've updated my guide using all of your suggestions, if you (or any one else) has additional pointers I'll keep working with it to make it a top notch resource, thanks again for your time! +rep for sure, I hope you get feeling better soon and best of luck @university. :D
Checkout My Leona Guide: Leona - Try to Leave a Dent! Comments and Suggestions welcomed.
L1LShadow
<Member>
L1LShadow's Forum Avatar
Posts:
80
Joined:
Jun 26th, 2011
Permalink | Quote | PM | +Rep July 25, 2011 10:53am | Report
Guide For: General Tanking (no specific champion)
Why I'd like this to be Reviewed: Criticism and publicity(I know I need attention :3).
What I'd like you to focus on: Explaination, Format, or your criterion.
Guide Link: General Tanking Guide
Rudmed
<Editor>
Rudmed's Forum Avatar
Posts:
2394
Joined:
Dec 10th, 2010
Permalink | Quote | PM | +Rep July 25, 2011 11:58am | Report
^.....Oh the irony.
AngelPixe
<Member>
AngelPixe's Forum Avatar
Posts:
77
Joined:
May 7th, 2011
Permalink | Quote | PM | +Rep July 25, 2011 12:30pm | Report
Warwick is a tank?since when :P.

Leona is missing on the list of tanks as well :3
Rudmed
<Editor>
Rudmed's Forum Avatar
Posts:
2394
Joined:
Dec 10th, 2010
Permalink | Quote | PM | +Rep July 25, 2011 12:42pm | Report
AngelPixe wrote:

Warwick is a tank?since when :P.

Leona is missing on the list of tanks as well :3

She has a point you have listed mostly off-tanks, which should still do alot of damage.
ChefoSLR
<Member>
ChefoSLR's Forum Avatar
Show more awards
Posts:
57
Joined:
Feb 3rd, 2011
Permalink | Quote | PM | +Rep July 25, 2011 3:58pm | Report
Hey! A friend of mine recommended you as a very good reviewer. I just finished my Leona guide: http://www.mobafire.com/league-of-legends/build/leona-a-new-dawn-for-tanks-104374

(I plan on adding a custom-made picture for an intro, but I currently don't have access to Photoshop).

I'd very grateful if you can take a look at it and tell me what you think. Thanks in advance!
Aharan
<Video Contributor>
Aharan's Forum Avatar
Show more awards
Posts:
167
Joined:
May 30th, 2011
Permalink | Quote | PM | +Rep July 25, 2011 4:08pm | Report
Chefo, please read the first page requirements for your build to be reviewed for your own good :D.
I read it, and thought it was very remarkable.
jhoijhoi
<MOBAFire Mother>
jhoijhoi's Forum Avatar
Show more awards
Posts:
14418
Joined:
Mar 20th, 2011
Permalink | Quote | PM | +Rep July 26, 2011 12:53am | Report
I'm still sick, but pending the arrival of dinner, here's a review :3

Scrax's Janna Guide
Verdict: An in-depth and well-written Support Janna guide. The information is coherent, neat and is definitely worthwhile reading, as it details virtually everything and anything you could want to know about Janna.
Possible Improvements: However, the guide is severely lacking in aesthetics. It gives little to no visual pleasure. The guide is also structured in an odd way, which could lead to confusion. Otherwise, a highly recommended guide ^^

Constructive Criticism:

1) Your section style is a common theme throughout your guide, so I imagine you're going to keep it that way no matter what. My opinion is that it looks a little bit bland. The Summoner Spells run into each other, as do the Abilities. I'd suggest adding in some colour or formatting. I realise that you may consider coding, formatting and colour gaudy, but it does wonders with regards to keep the attention of your readers.

For example, in your Abilities section, you could colour each ability in the corresponding colour, or center the icons... Anything to break the text up. While your guide isn't a wall of text in terms of the literary sense, you're still presenting text in the least interesting way.

Spatial grammar is a crucial aspect of successful websites/pages. If a webpage doesn't look attractive, who would read it?

2) You didn't mention Eye of the Storm giving the power of a free B. F. Sword to your carry. I realise you probably have a more in-depth thing going on elsewhere, but you should list the most important aspects of the abilities, even if it's only briefly.

3) Again with aesthetics here, your Items section, while broken up into accurate paragraphical space, is still lacklustre compared to other guides due solely to it's bland appearance. You could also separate each item by a line separator. Also. Due to recent patch notes, you could mention Shurelya's now gives assists ^^

4) Because you spec'd 0/9/21, (and with Shurelya's Battlesong and Soul Shroud + Glyphs of Focus = 6% + 15% + 10% + 5.8% = 36.8% cool downs. Those Ionian Boots of Lucidity will give you 3.2% CDR out of it's 15%. That's a waste of money ^^

5) You say "What's the point of spell penetration"? But you grab Marks of Insight.

6) I'd definitely recommend Doran's Ring as a starting item. The extra health means that if your carry is caught in the wrong position early game, you can attempt to derail any perusers by trailing behind him/her, hoping the enemy will misclick and hit you.

7) Your item related sections are all over the place. I'd go something like:

1. Starting Items
2. Boots
3. Core Items
4. Situational/Last Item

8) I think it's a tad odd you don't recommend/mention grabbing a Heart of Gold on Janna.

9) So I don't know if you'll listen to me or not, but I think your chapter order is all over the place. Generally I enjoy guides more when they flow. So from all the pre-game stuff (masteries, runes, summoner spells) to the in-game stuff (items, gameplay, etc).

10) Okay... the chapter set-up is even more confusing than I thought. At the very least, put "Core Items" after "Starting Items".

11) Adding definition between the aspects of gameplay would be nice. ie, "Mid Game:" could be in a different size, colour and centred. Abilities/items etc should be put into coding (ie: Eye Of The Storm) to break up the walls of texts you are forcing the reader to read ("It's your job to read this etc"). If you want them to read it, make it aesthetically pleasing.

12) "(double-tap SHIFT+Q)" - You may like to have a section about Smart Casting. If you're smart casting as Janna, set hotkeys would be better.

13) Your tips and tricks of the abilities could go in your abilities section. If you don't know what I mean, take a quick gander of my Abilities section in my Ashe guide.

14) You have a lot of repeated screenshots of your match history.

So, the main things that I didn't like with your guide:

a) Your chapter organisation is really confusing. You have sections about items all over the place, and not in order of how you'd buy them. (ie you have "Core Items" half way through our guide, after you've listed your situational items, after boots, after runes and masteries - it's just very unorganised at the moment)
b) Your guide is a very bland in terms of colour, formatting, coding. It's not very aesthetically pleasing. Don't say, "But the text *is* coloured" - yes, I noticed it's not stark white, but a pale blue.
c) YOU MENTION HEXTECH AND NEVER SHOW HEXTECH!
jhoijhoi
<MOBAFire Mother>
jhoijhoi's Forum Avatar
Show more awards
Posts:
14418
Joined:
Mar 20th, 2011
Permalink | Quote | PM | +Rep July 26, 2011 12:57am | Report
Reviewable Guides
Aharan wrote:

Guide for:
Why I'd like this to be Reviewed: I want to know what to improve on in future builds
What I'd like you to focus on: the structure, and if it's easy to read or not
Guide Link: http://www.mobafire.com/league-of-legends/build/corki-insert-creative-name-here-90103


Would you mind reviewing my new Soraka guide? XD
Guide For (champion): Soraka
Why I'd like this to be Reviewed: Revamped it and want a second opinion
What I'd like you to focus on: Whatever you feel needs to be commented on
Guide Link: http://www.mobafire.com/league-of-legends/build/ap-soraka-no-my-horn-doesnt-poke-through-my-deathcap-104646

lefze wrote:

Guide For (champion): Garen
Why I'd like this to be Reviewed: My first guide. Dont know how well the items willwork, as havent really tried the build yet. the reason for this is that im not at home, and i dont have a proper computer with me.
What I'd like you to focus on: The items primary. Ill rework formatting when i get my hands on a proper computer
Guide Link: http://www.mobafire.com/league-of-legends/build/garen-the-healthy-killer-updated-101717

L1LShadow wrote:

Guide For: General Tanking (no specific champion)
Why I'd like this to be Reviewed: Criticism and publicity(I know I need attention :3).
What I'd like you to focus on: Explaination, Format, or your criterion.
Guide Link: General Tanking Guide

@Guiken: :) I'm glad you thought my advice was good. Please don't hesitate in requesting a re-review. And thanks :D

@Everyone else: I'm still sick, and I feel pretty bad. Extensive time spent in front of the computer screen hurts my eyes. I'll try and get another guide done soon. <3
The_Nameless_Bard
<Ancient Member>
The_Nameless_Bard's Forum Avatar
Show more awards
Posts:
12983
Joined:
Jan 17th, 2011
Permalink | Quote | PM | +Rep July 26, 2011 1:02am | Report
Don't push yourself too hard.

HOPE YOU FEEL BETTER SOON.

I'd offer to make you soup or something but you're all the way in Australia...XD

You need to log in before commenting.

League of Legends Champions:

Teamfight Tactics Guide