jhoijhoi's review & discussion service

[quote=CounterSnipe]Hello :D I'm Countersnipe on the N.A. Server! I wrote this guide on how to jungle Jarvan: http://www.mobafire.com/league-of-legends/build/i-jungle-jarvan-267605 I read your guide on how to make guides super awesome and put you in my credits section along with TheOddOne and Stonewall008 :D I also know how to spell and use spell check! I'm hoping you can give me criticism on this jungle guide for J4. It is my first guide, but I made it look nice and pretty and everything! It took me about 10 hours or so to accomplish XD[/quote]

[quote=jhoijhoi][color=#0080ff][h2][b]Current Requests[/b][/h2][/color] ------------------ Sorry, I was away at Warwick for the week for my mother's birthday. Just got back :) I'll get on to these now :) [spoiler=morrkevi][quote=morrkevi] Name: morrkevi Link: http://www.mobafire.com/league-of-legends/build/sona-the-accomplished-etwahlist-aggressive-support-guide-265876 Have you read my Guide to Making a Guide? YES Have you run your guide through a spell check? YES [/quote] [/spoiler] [spoiler=Roronoa Evris][quote=Roronoa EvrIs] Summoner Name: Roronoa Evris Summoner Level: 30 Post Count (Time of Request): 176 Spell+Grammar check: Yes Have you read my Guide to Making a Guide?: YES! Guide for (champion): [[Shen]] Why I'd Like This Reviewed: I have received no comments on how I can improve my build for a long time now. I also believe it brings out a new perspective to how you can play this champ. What I'd Like You to Focus on: Almost everything I guess. :) Link: [url=http://www.mobafire.com/league-of-legends/build/ap-tank-shen-ninja-gaiden-in-lol-196144]here it is[/url] [/quote] [/spoiler] [spoiler=utopus] [quote=utopus] Name: utopus Link: [url=http://www.mobafire.com/league-of-legends/build/twitch-facerolling-over-the-enemy-188596]LINK :) :)[/url] Have you read my Guide to Making a Guide? YES Have you run your guide through a spell check? YES [/quote] [/spoiler] [spoiler=That Trev Person][quote=That Trev Person] Name: That Trev Person Link: [url=http://www.mobafire.com/league-of-legends/build/jungle-amumu-a-guide-to-depressing-your-enemies-193252]Amumusosad[/url] Have you read my Guide to Making a Guide? YES Have you run your guide through a spell check? YES Forgot to post this when I first published my guide, and I'm curious to hear your opinion :D [/quote] [/spoiler] [spoiler=CounterSnipe][quote=CounterSnipe] Hello :D I'm Countersnipe on the N.A. Server! I wrote this guide on how to jungle Jarvan: http://www.mobafire.com/league-of-legends/build/i-jungle-jarvan-267605 I read your guide on how to make guides super awesome and put you in my credits section along with TheOddOne and Stonewall008 :D I also know how to spell and use spell check! I'm hoping you can give me criticism on this jungle guide for J4. It is my first guide, but I made it look nice and pretty and everything! It took me about 10 hours or so to accomplish XD [/quote] [/spoiler] [columns] [nextcol width=100][color=#0080ff][b]NAME[/b][/color] -------------------------------- [nextcol width=30] [nextcol width=100][color=#ff8000][b]CHAMPION[/b][/color] -------------------------------- [nextcol width=30] [nextcol width=100][color=#0080ff][b]RATING[/b][/color] ------------------------------- [nextcol width=30] [nextcol width=100][color=#ff8000][b]DATE[/b][/color] --------------------------- [/columns][/quote]

[quote=jhoijhoi][columns] [nextcol width=100][color=#0080ff][b]NAME[/b][/color] -------------------------------- morrkevi [nextcol width=30] [nextcol width=100][color=#ff8000][b]CHAMPION[/b][/color] -------------------------------- [url=http://www.mobafire.com/league-of-legends/build/sona-the-accomplished-etwahlist-aggressive-support-guide-265876]SR Support Sona[/url] [nextcol width=30] [nextcol width=100][color=#0080ff][b]RATING[/b][/color] ------------------------------- 6/10 [nextcol width=30] [nextcol width=100][color=#ff8000][b]DATE[/b][/color] --------------------------- 03/12/12 [/columns] [spoiler=morrkevi's SR Support Sona Guide Review] [color=#0080ff][h2]Cheat Sheet[/h2][/color] ------------------ [b]Purchase Order[/b] > I'm fine with the current purchase order besides Mob Boots - these, I feel, aren't necessary on Sona due to [[song of celerity]]. In addition to this, I would suggest an earlier Oracles. However, due to the S3 item changes, your purchase order will change anyway, so I'm not too hung up about this. [b]Ability Sequence[/b] > IThanks for picking up E at level 3; this allows for a realistic scenario of helping escape a gank with the move speed boost. [b]Masteries[/b] > I'd pick up [[summoner's wrath]] for the upgraded [[exhaust]] - fantastic throughout all levels/stages of the game. [b]Skill Sequence[/b] > Centred text looks awful :/ Especially centred lists. The "RQWE" at the top is lost and not very noticable. [b]Summoner Spells[/b] > If you don't agree with [[exhaust]], don't list Exhaust, and TELL US WHY! List the pros/cons of Clairvoyance compared to Exhaust and PROVE why it's better. Don't just go with the meta and accept it. [h2][color=#0080ff]Guide[/color][/h2] -------------------- [b]Introduction[/b] > I like the background you've touched upon here, it's always nice to learn how others have come into certain roles in the game. I would try and cut this down just a little bit, as it looks a bit daunting. Try adding some graphical images here to break up the text. Thanks for the thanks! [b]Runes[/b] > I feel that this chapter is lacking in aesthetic appeal. If you increase the length of each description, you can use a standard ICON | DESCRIPTION sort of column set up and it will greatly improve the readability of your guide. Additionally, I don't like your "Why not?" sub-section; why not write out in full "greater mark of resilience" so people can hover over the description? Takes a few seconds and makes it easier to read. [b]Masteries[/b] > I like your explanation about [[wealth]], but I feel that this section is lacking in explanation and description of alternative set-ups. [b]Items[/b] > I would use the Heading tool to create some space and emphasis of headings, as at the moment I'm getting lost trying to follow the text. [color=#0080ff][h2][b]Score[/b][/h2][/color] ---------------------- [b]Appearance[/b] > 1.5/3. I believe that you can greatly improve the aesthetic levels of your guide. Adding in heading tags, colour and icons to represent ideas will boost the readability of your guide by a fair amount. You can easily do this by having a quick re-read of my Guide Making Guide and having a go adding in some of the templates provided. [b]Content[/b] > 1.5/3. Your guide is not yet finished, and as such, I cannot give it a complete score; there are multiple chapters listed as "to be completed" and areas within the guide that need to be fleshed out (such as the ADC section). The content you do have currently will help new players to Sona, and I like the mention of Marks of Insight, Wealth and other bits and pieces that I never considered that are beneficial for people to read. [b]Viability[/b] > 3/4. I don't like the Boots of Mobility and I have a problem with your [[Exhaust]] explanation. Everything else in the guide is completely viable and I quite like it. However, I believe there is plenty of room for improvement in terms of viability - where are the alternative items? What about starting with different items? Things like this will make your decisions even more valid if you explain why you don't take other options. [b]Total Score > 6 - Upvote (only receivable with a reply to this thread).[/b] I liked reading your guide, but I think you can put in a lot more effort to improve appearance and content. If possible, in the future don't request reviews until you've finished the guide! Keep up the great work and try working on the things I've mentioned above :) [/spoiler][/quote]

[quote=Bigg Fuddgee]What is a "Scout point"?[/quote]

[quote=utopus]a very very very nice upvote, fuddgee ;) Something that all guide writers are interested in getting, and also something that many scouts are very hesitant to give out xD[/quote]

[quote=Bigg Fuddgee]interesting lol, It appeals to my competitive side, I must get one for my guide :D[/quote]

[quote=morrkevi][quote=jhoijhoi] [columns] [nextcol width=100][color=#0080ff][b]NAME[/b][/color] -------------------------------- morrkevi [nextcol width=30] [nextcol width=100][color=#ff8000][b]CHAMPION[/b][/color] -------------------------------- [url=http://www.mobafire.com/league-of-legends/build/sona-the-accomplished-etwahlist-aggressive-support-guide-265876]SR Support Sona[/url] [nextcol width=30] [nextcol width=100][color=#0080ff][b]RATING[/b][/color] ------------------------------- 6/10 [nextcol width=30] [nextcol width=100][color=#ff8000][b]DATE[/b][/color] --------------------------- 03/12/12 [/columns] [spoiler=morrkevi's SR Support Sona Guide Review] [color=#0080ff][h2]Cheat Sheet[/h2][/color] ------------------ [b]Purchase Order[/b] > I'm fine with the current purchase order besides Mob Boots - these, I feel, aren't necessary on Sona due to [[song of celerity]]. In addition to this, I would suggest an earlier Oracles. However, due to the S3 item changes, your purchase order will change anyway, so I'm not too hung up about this. [b]Ability Sequence[/b] > IThanks for picking up E at level 3; this allows for a realistic scenario of helping escape a gank with the move speed boost. [b]Masteries[/b] > I'd pick up [[summoner's wrath]] for the upgraded [[exhaust]] - fantastic throughout all levels/stages of the game. [b]Skill Sequence[/b] > Centred text looks awful :/ Especially centred lists. The "RQWE" at the top is lost and not very noticable. [b]Summoner Spells[/b] > If you don't agree with [[exhaust]], don't list Exhaust, and TELL US WHY! List the pros/cons of Clairvoyance compared to Exhaust and PROVE why it's better. Don't just go with the meta and accept it. [h2][color=#0080ff]Guide[/color][/h2] -------------------- [b]Introduction[/b] > I like the background you've touched upon here, it's always nice to learn how others have come into certain roles in the game. I would try and cut this down just a little bit, as it looks a bit daunting. Try adding some graphical images here to break up the text. Thanks for the thanks! [b]Runes[/b] > I feel that this chapter is lacking in aesthetic appeal. If you increase the length of each description, you can use a standard ICON | DESCRIPTION sort of column set up and it will greatly improve the readability of your guide. Additionally, I don't like your "Why not?" sub-section; why not write out in full "greater mark of resilience" so people can hover over the description? Takes a few seconds and makes it easier to read. [b]Masteries[/b] > I like your explanation about [[wealth]], but I feel that this section is lacking in explanation and description of alternative set-ups. [b]Items[/b] > I would use the Heading tool to create some space and emphasis of headings, as at the moment I'm getting lost trying to follow the text. [color=#0080ff][h2][b]Score[/b][/h2][/color] ---------------------- [b]Appearance[/b] > 1.5/3. I believe that you can greatly improve the aesthetic levels of your guide. Adding in heading tags, colour and icons to represent ideas will boost the readability of your guide by a fair amount. You can easily do this by having a quick re-read of my Guide Making Guide and having a go adding in some of the templates provided. [b]Content[/b] > 1.5/3. Your guide is not yet finished, and as such, I cannot give it a complete score; there are multiple chapters listed as "to be completed" and areas within the guide that need to be fleshed out (such as the ADC section). The content you do have currently will help new players to Sona, and I like the mention of Marks of Insight, Wealth and other bits and pieces that I never considered that are beneficial for people to read. [b]Viability[/b] > 3/4. I don't like the Boots of Mobility and I have a problem with your [[Exhaust]] explanation. Everything else in the guide is completely viable and I quite like it. However, I believe there is plenty of room for improvement in terms of viability - where are the alternative items? What about starting with different items? Things like this will make your decisions even more valid if you explain why you don't take other options. [b]Total Score > 6 - Upvote (only receivable with a reply to this thread).[/b] I liked reading your guide, but I think you can put in a lot more effort to improve appearance and content. If possible, in the future don't request reviews until you've finished the guide! Keep up the great work and try working on the things I've mentioned above :) [/spoiler] [/quote] Hey thanks for the guide review. It WAS actually a finished guide, but then someone else actually reviewed it before you did so I began to add things (hence the chapters with "to be continued") I'm very sorry about that! I tried to tell you via PM, but I guess I didn't get to you in time. You are right with regards to [[summoner's wrath]] and [[exhaust]]. I think the problem was I was kind of doing a tween thing. I never really take exhaust so I don't take summoner's wrath as a skill. But I put exhaust up because that is the current meta. You are right, I should stick to my guns with [[clairvoyance]] and explain it better. That's the second time I was told that about the runes section so I will 100% be looking into what others do with their runes section and changing mine up a bit.[/quote]

[quote=jhoijhoi][columns] [nextcol width=100][color=#0080ff][b]NAME[/b][/color] -------------------------------- Roronoa EvrIs [nextcol width=30] [nextcol width=100][color=#ff8000][b]CHAMPION[/b][/color] -------------------------------- [url=http://www.mobafire.com/league-of-legends/build/ap-tank-shen-ninja-gaiden-in-lol-196144]SR AP Bruiser Shen[/url] [nextcol width=30] [nextcol width=100][color=#0080ff][b]RATING[/b][/color] ------------------------------- [color=#008000]5.5/10[/color] [nextcol width=30] [nextcol width=100][color=#ff8000][b]DATE[/b][/color] --------------------------- 04/12/12 [/columns] [spoiler=Roronoa EvrIs's SR AP Bruiser Shen Guide Review] [color=#0080ff][h2]Cheat Sheet[/h2][/color] ------------------ [b]Purchase Order[/b] > I don't think this is a good purchase order at all, especially the Ruby Crystal start. That is extremely outdated and wouldn't work in any normal game. Additionally, both HoG and Force of Nature will be removed from the game soon. Finally, if you're adamant about keeping the elixirs in the purchase order, as a tank you should be grabbing Oracles > Fortitude > Brilliance > Agility. [b]Runes[/b] > Those quints are pretty random, but I can see them working. [b]Ability Sequence[/b] > I'd grab a point in [[taunt]] at level 3. [h2][color=#0080ff]Guide[/color][/h2] -------------------- [b]Introduction[/b] > Not sure you should admit that you felt Shen was useless. Even unskilled players understand the benefits he can give to a team :P [b]Quick Summary[/b] > When using icons without the text, just don't allocate it a size and it'll be the "default" size of an icon with text. [b]Pros/Cons[/b] > Useless section, don't double up on information! [b]Alternative Runes[/b] > You clearly didn't spell/grammar check your guide. "These will also minory increase"? o.o I also don't like the layout here, as the icons are too big for the amount of text you're using. I feel as if you're trying to "use space" in order to extend your guide. Instead try and conserve space so people don't get bored trying to read your guide. Towards that end, I feel like you need to merge a lot of your chapters, and I'll detail my suggestions later. [b]Summoner Spells[/b] > Don't list useless summoner spells, or "troll picks". You've wasted your time and everyone else's who's trying to read your guide. Just list the top 6 and leave it at that. [b]Skill Sequence/Abilities Description[/b] > Definitely wasting space. [b]Playing Shen Solo Top[/b] > Your video isn't very good at demonstrating your point. You are pushing the lane by auto-attacking and using Vorpal Blades unsuccessfully. I'd suggest a new video; you even admit it's out of date. [color=#0080ff][h2][b]Score[/b][/h2][/color] ---------------------- [b]Appearance[/b] > 1.5/3. There are some sections of your guide that look great, like the jungle section and the lane match-up section; I really like how you've used BBCode creatively/correctly here to emphasis/display information. However, there are multiple areas of your guide that I do not like the look of, including your skill explanation, skilling order, runes etc. An hour or so spent here rearranging some information and coding in a different manner would raise your appearance score highly. [b]Content[/b] > 2/3. Your tips and tricks about Shen gameplay is enlightening and the other content bits of your guide will help newer players. Whilst you try to explain all aspects of the guide, you fall short several times. "Here is a map for warding" - why are those wards where they are? "More armor" - why is more armor beneficial on Shen? Going a little more in-depth on your choices and within your explanations will benefit not only you, but your readers. Additionally, your chapters are all over the place in terms of order (try ordering the chapters as explained in my Guide Guide) and some chapters are virtually useless as chapters and would waste less space as subchapters. [b]Viability[/b] > 2/4. Those spawn items really made your viability take a nose dive in points. Ruby Crystal is not a viable start. Boots + Health Pots are the standard start on any solo top champion, and Shen isn't an exception. With the release of the new Doran's Shield, Shield may be a legit start. Boots are getting a nerf, so they may not be completely necessary anymore. The rest of your guide seems fine; runes look good, masteries are great, summoner's are fantastic. Just those starting items are not viable at all for Season Two, or S3. [b]Total Score > 5.5 - Upvote (only receivable with a reply to this thread).[/b] Your guide can be improved mainly in terms of appearance and viability. Your content is strong but can be severely improved with a little hard work and well-written explanation. Definitely start cutting out useless chapters - there's no need to have a single chapter with less than 100 words, it's a complete waste of space. Otherwise, nice guide :) [/spoiler][/quote]

[quote=Nytrite]Name: Nytrite Link: http://www.mobafire.com/league-of-legends/build/updated-let-me-fizz-you-up-a-fizz-guide-245850 YES YES Hope you could check my guide, I really want to know on what other people think ^^[/quote]

[quote=jhoijhoi][columns] [nextcol width=100][color=#0080ff][b]NAME[/b][/color] -------------------------------- utopus [nextcol width=30] [nextcol width=100][color=#ff8000][b]CHAMPION[/b][/color] -------------------------------- [url=http://www.mobafire.com/league-of-legends/build/twitch-facerolling-over-the-enemy-188596]SR ADC Twitch[/url] [nextcol width=30] [nextcol width=100][color=#0080ff][b]RATING[/b][/color] ------------------------------- [color=#008000]6.5/10[/color] [nextcol width=30] [nextcol width=100][color=#ff8000][b]DATE[/b][/color] --------------------------- 04/12/12 [/columns] [spoiler=utopus' SR ADC Twitch Guide Review] [color=#0080ff][h2]Cheat Sheet[/h2][/color] ------------------ [b]Title of guide[/b] > Why not simply, "Twitch: Facerolling the Enemy"? [b]Purchase Order[/b] > I like the opening and purchase order until Bloodthirster. I don't think you need it that early on, and GA is pretty darn important on Squishy McSquishSquish Twitch. [b]Runes[/b] > Not sure of the Desolation Marks here, but I'll read your explanation later on. [b]Ability Sequence[/b] > I'd definitely grab a point in [[ambush]] at level 3 or even earlier. Similar to Caitlyn, Tristana and Corki, ADCs are in danger of being ganked and killed. Any sort of escape mechanism should be grabbed early in the game for safety. In addition to that, Twitch can make use of the attack speed buff if your jungler comes to gank. [h2][color=#0080ff]Guide[/color][/h2] -------------------- [b]Introduction[/b] > You said you spell checked this :/ In this section alone I have picked up on 1, 2, 3, 4, 5 errors. You need to reread over this guide and fix up unnecessary capitalisation, [i]missing[/i] capitalisation and syntax - when using brackets, you need a space before, for example (like this). [b]Pros/Cons[/b] > Don't really like centred text. Random/missing capitalisation here too. [b]Summoner Spells[/b] > Don't list useless summoner spells. [b]Choosing a Support: Abridged/Tl;DR[/b] > Can be merged with the following chapter to conserve space. [b]Laning:Ranked[/b] > Random coding error here. [b]Items[/b] > Don't list useless items on Twitch like [[force of nature]]. [b]The GOlden Rule[/b] > Pure gold :P [b]Jungling[/b] > I would delete this section and just add a link + short description at the beginning of your guide in the Introduction, something like, "This is an ADC Twitch guide, if you're looking for a jungle guide, please visit xxx". As it is, you don't even link Phoenix's guide or his profile. [color=#0080ff][h2][b]Score[/b][/h2][/color] ---------------------- [b]Appearance[/b] > 1.5/3. I think that using the float tool is not a great way to format guides. I would recommend using columns instead. There are parts of your guide that are aesthetically appealing, but some sections fall short, such as the Pros/Cons chapter. I also think that you try to use space to bloat your guide (like in the support section) and it'd look better condensed. [b]Content[/b] > 2/3. The guide is somewhat content heavy and you explain almost all choices well. You can improve here by expanding the explanations of alternative runes/masteries. I don't like the way you've situated your chapters as I think there are unnecessary chapters and that they are all jumbled up. For instance, why isn't the support section near the counters section? Why are all the ability related chapters in random places? It is hard to read your guide in one sitting without getting confused. You talk about his laning gameplay before you even mention his abilities... wut? [b]Viability[/b] > 3/4. Some unviable suggestions in the guide have brought down your score, for instance Sunfire Cape, Madred's and Force of Nature, in addition to never-spec summoner spells. I'm also unconvinced that Desolation marks are better than flat AD. Finally, some supports listed are just not viable as supports/suck eggs. [b]Total Score > 6.5 - Upvote (only receivable with a reply to this thread).[/b] I feel as if the content of your guide is quite good; the counters/synergies sections are well written albeit not spell/grammar checked. Interestingly, you haven't compared Twitch to counterpart ADCs he will face in lane. If you tidy up the guide by deleting excessive chapters and rearranging the chapter order, your guide will easily be significantly improved. Fixing the BBCoding and adding some more aesthetic appeal will make it damn worthy of the #1 spot :) [/spoiler][/quote]