jhoijhoi's review & discussion service

[quote=Roronoa EvrIs][quote=jhoijhoi] [columns] [nextcol width=100][color=#0080ff][b]NAME[/b][/color] -------------------------------- Roronoa EvrIs [nextcol width=30] [nextcol width=100][color=#ff8000][b]CHAMPION[/b][/color] -------------------------------- [url=http://www.mobafire.com/league-of-legends/build/ap-tank-shen-ninja-gaiden-in-lol-196144]SR AP Bruiser Shen[/url] [nextcol width=30] [nextcol width=100][color=#0080ff][b]RATING[/b][/color] ------------------------------- [color=#008000]5.5/10[/color] [nextcol width=30] [nextcol width=100][color=#ff8000][b]DATE[/b][/color] --------------------------- 04/12/12 [/columns] [spoiler=Roronoa EvrIs's SR AP Bruiser Shen Guide Review] [color=#0080ff][h2]Cheat Sheet[/h2][/color] ------------------ [b]Purchase Order[/b] > I don't think this is a good purchase order at all, especially the Ruby Crystal start. That is extremely outdated and wouldn't work in any normal game. Additionally, both HoG and Force of Nature will be removed from the game soon. Finally, if you're adamant about keeping the elixirs in the purchase order, as a tank you should be grabbing Oracles > Fortitude > Brilliance > Agility. [b]Runes[/b] > Those quints are pretty random, but I can see them working. [b]Ability Sequence[/b] > I'd grab a point in [[taunt]] at level 3. [h2][color=#0080ff]Guide[/color][/h2] -------------------- [b]Introduction[/b] > Not sure you should admit that you felt Shen was useless. Even unskilled players understand the benefits he can give to a team :P [b]Quick Summary[/b] > When using icons without the text, just don't allocate it a size and it'll be the "default" size of an icon with text. [b]Pros/Cons[/b] > Useless section, don't double up on information! [b]Alternative Runes[/b] > You clearly didn't spell/grammar check your guide. "These will also minory increase"? o.o I also don't like the layout here, as the icons are too big for the amount of text you're using. I feel as if you're trying to "use space" in order to extend your guide. Instead try and conserve space so people don't get bored trying to read your guide. Towards that end, I feel like you need to merge a lot of your chapters, and I'll detail my suggestions later. [b]Summoner Spells[/b] > Don't list useless summoner spells, or "troll picks". You've wasted your time and everyone else's who's trying to read your guide. Just list the top 6 and leave it at that. [b]Skill Sequence/Abilities Description[/b] > Definitely wasting space. [b]Playing Shen Solo Top[/b] > Your video isn't very good at demonstrating your point. You are pushing the lane by auto-attacking and using Vorpal Blades unsuccessfully. I'd suggest a new video; you even admit it's out of date. [color=#0080ff][h2][b]Score[/b][/h2][/color] ---------------------- [b]Appearance[/b] > 1.5/3. There are some sections of your guide that look great, like the jungle section and the lane match-up section; I really like how you've used BBCode creatively/correctly here to emphasis/display information. However, there are multiple areas of your guide that I do not like the look of, including your skill explanation, skilling order, runes etc. An hour or so spent here rearranging some information and coding in a different manner would raise your appearance score highly. [b]Content[/b] > 2/3. Your tips and tricks about Shen gameplay is enlightening and the other content bits of your guide will help newer players. Whilst you try to explain all aspects of the guide, you fall short several times. "Here is a map for warding" - why are those wards where they are? "More armor" - why is more armor beneficial on Shen? Going a little more in-depth on your choices and within your explanations will benefit not only you, but your readers. Additionally, your chapters are all over the place in terms of order (try ordering the chapters as explained in my Guide Guide) and some chapters are virtually useless as chapters and would waste less space as subchapters. [b]Viability[/b] > 2/4. Those spawn items really made your viability take a nose dive in points. Ruby Crystal is not a viable start. Boots + Health Pots are the standard start on any solo top champion, and Shen isn't an exception. With the release of the new Doran's Shield, Shield may be a legit start. Boots are getting a nerf, so they may not be completely necessary anymore. The rest of your guide seems fine; runes look good, masteries are great, summoner's are fantastic. Just those starting items are not viable at all for Season Two, or S3. [b]Total Score > 5.5 - Upvote (only receivable with a reply to this thread).[/b] Your guide can be improved mainly in terms of appearance and viability. Your content is strong but can be severely improved with a little hard work and well-written explanation. Definitely start cutting out useless chapters - there's no need to have a single chapter with less than 100 words, it's a complete waste of space. Otherwise, nice guide :) [/spoiler] [/quote] Many thx for the amazing review! [spoiler]First things first I want to say that I will update this major time when the S3 changes actually occur. Cheat sheet: I never had a problem with that start but i tried starting boots and it worked out fine too. I will get rid of the Elixirs as I fill they just add nothing. The Quints are really working for me and I would prefer only the Swiftness ones over them. I do too! Forgot to update that one. Guide: I was lvl 12 back then when I thought Shen was useless... The referrance to the icon's size is to something specifically or it was just an advise word? Well I think that "these" is the word to use when you talk in plural isn't it? As for the layout I admit that it's not the best I could do but I had problems coding it so I compromised with what u see there. I got 2 downvotes for not listing every Summoner spell and that's why I kept it that way. I don't feel that the ability description is a waste of space. I thing that I should explain as simple as possible to my readers what Shen's abilities do in the game. The Skill sequence could be an overkill though.. I will make a new one as fast as I can... (Studies hold me back...) Sooooooo, I intent to do a major rework on my guide as the S3 enters therefore I would appreciate it if you didn;t upvote this one just yet but re-review it when I'm done with my changes and possibly get a better score. Again many thc for the in-depth feedback![/ [spoiler][/quote]

[quote=utopus][quote] [spoiler=Utopus' ADC twitch] Cheat Sheet Title of guide > Why not simply, "Twitch: Facerolling the Enemy"? Purchase Order > I like the opening and purchase order until Bloodthirster. I don't think you need it that early on, and GA is pretty darn important on Squishy McSquishSquish Twitch. Runes > Not sure of the Desolation Marks here, but I'll read your explanation later on. Ability Sequence > I'd definitely grab a point in Ambush at level 3 or even earlier. Similar to Caitlyn, Tristana and Corki, ADCs are in danger of being ganked and killed. Any sort of escape mechanism should be grabbed early in the game for safety. In addition to that, Twitch can make use of the attack speed buff if your jungler comes to gank. Guide Introduction > You said you spell checked this :/ In this section alone I have picked up on 1, 2, 3, 4, 5 errors. You need to reread over this guide and fix up unnecessary capitalisation, missing capitalisation and syntax - when using brackets, you need a space before, for example (like this). Pros/Cons > Don't really like centred text. Random/missing capitalisation here too. Summoner Spells > Don't list useless summoner spells. Choosing a Support: Abridged/Tl;DR > Can be merged with the following chapter to conserve space. Laning:Ranked > Random coding error here. Items > Don't list useless items on Twitch like Force of Nature. The GOlden Rule > Pure gold :P Jungling > I would delete this section and just add a link + short description at the beginning of your guide in the Introduction, something like, "This is an ADC Twitch guide, if you're looking for a jungle guide, please visit xxx". As it is, you don't even link Phoenix's guide or his profile. Score Appearance > 1.5/3. I think that using the float tool is not a great way to format guides. I would recommend using columns instead. There are parts of your guide that are aesthetically appealing, but some sections fall short, such as the Pros/Cons chapter. I also think that you try to use space to bloat your guide (like in the support section) and it'd look better condensed. Content > 2/3. The guide is somewhat content heavy and you explain almost all choices well. You can improve here by expanding the explanations of alternative runes/masteries. I don't like the way you've situated your chapters as I think there are unnecessary chapters and that they are all jumbled up. For instance, why isn't the support section near the counters section? Why are all the ability related chapters in random places? It is hard to read your guide in one sitting without getting confused. You talk about his laning gameplay before you even mention his abilities... wut? Viability > 3/4. Some unviable suggestions in the guide have brought down your score, for instance Sunfire Cape, Madred's and Force of Nature, in addition to never-spec summoner spells. I'm also unconvinced that Desolation marks are better than flat AD. Finally, some supports listed are just not viable as supports/suck eggs. Total Score > 6.5 - Upvote (only receivable with a reply to this thread). I feel as if the content of your guide is quite good; the counters/synergies sections are well written albeit not spell/grammar checked. Interestingly, you haven't compared Twitch to counterpart ADCs he will face in lane. If you tidy up the guide by deleting excessive chapters and rearranging the chapter order, your guide will easily be significantly improved. Fixing the BBCoding and adding some more aesthetic appeal will make it damn worthy of the #1 spot :)[/spoiler][/quote] Thanks for the review, jai! Here are the points i would like to make... [spoiler=Thoughts] [*]Thanks for pointing out my grammar errors! Being a guide-writer yourself, you can probably understand how difficult it is to pick out spelling and syntax errors in a 5,000 word document. [*] I will make a better effort to make my guide more appealing. Admittedly, it is a lot to read through. [*][b]Items[/b] -> You don't always need [[the bloodthirster]] that early on. I stated in the item section that twitches' defensive item, [[guardian angel]], can be bought as a 4th item, or a 6th item. [*][[force of nature]] is a fine item for a 4-5 AP champ team composition. Most of my readers do blind-pick, and funky team compositions like the one i just mention really do happen on blind pick. [*]Deleted [[sunfire cape]] and [[madred's bloodrazor]]. They were terrible items that i've hardly ever used. [*][b]Skill Sequence: Leveling[/b] -> For the level 3 [[ambush]], I listed that as an alternative leveling order. I get a second level in [[expunge]], simply because it can help secure an early game kill much more easily. Additionally, [[debilitating poison]] can be used as a disengage against most jungle ganks, should you get enough notice about the gank. Many experienced twitch players would agree with me on this one. sry :( [*][b]Summoner spells[/b]Deleted the crappy summoner spells. [*][b]Choosing a support: TL;DR[/b] -> with regards to this section, I think I'll keep that. It lets me keep my lengthy Choosing a support section. People have sent me messages thanking me for having both sections. [*][b]Jungling:[/b] -> I switched up the jungling section several hours before you reviewed my guide. I'll look into just linking the guide. ------- Scoring [b]Appearance[/b]. I have been told many times that my guide looks pretty ugly haha. Hell, icecreamy's rating of 8/10 even re-iterates your statement xD I'll make an honest effort to do more columns, though. I tried columns several weeks ago, and the results were terrible. I'll look at icecreamy's guide again, though. [b]Content[/b] I'll explain the early game damage benefits of flat AD marks, and juxtapose them with the early-mid game damage benefits of ArPen marks. Section order: The seemingly disorganized sections are simply a matter or preference to me, because to me, it follows a logical, chronological order. During champion selection, the reader will choose twitch, look at masteries/runes, and [b]then[/b] will ask for a particular support [i]X[/i]. The next important thing for the reader to read is the laning section. In a game, I think it would be best for my reader to be reading my laning section BEFORE he lanes - not afterwards. I list my ability sequence and leveling sequence should be read afterwards, because it isn't important for a reader to read when he starts off at level 1. The items sequence comes later, when the reader recalls and shops. Idk, but for me it's a little practical With regards to how twitch does against other AD's, you might wanna look at [url=http://lolcounter.com/search.php?search=twitch]This[/url]. [h5]EDIT: the votes reset after S3, but it used to say that he was strong against all AD carries, and weak against bruisers and mid laners.[/h5] Twitch was weak against bruisers and AP mids, which usually doesn't have to deal with in the early game. I will think about what you wrote and change these around, after i check out the new items :) ------------------ If you do not mind, I would like to humbly request a re-review at some point later this week [/list][/spoiler] thanks for your time. +rep for your ideas :) -u[/quote]

[quote=IceCreamy]If for some reason you can't figure stuff out, feel free to leave a reply on the columns guide or PM me, I'll see what I can do to help :) *is touched about how people read his guide*[/quote]

[quote=jhoijhoi]Utopus: I disagree most with your explanation of your chapter order. It is really messy and hard to read. Not really logical at all :/ Please do request a rereview AFTER the S3 roll out on MobaFire :)[/quote]

[quote=Nytrite]Ehmm... C:[/quote]

[quote=jhoijhoi][color=#0080ff][h2][b]Current Requests[/b][/h2][/color] ------------------ Slowly plowing through the list. [spoiler=That Trev Person][quote=That Trev Person] Name: That Trev Person Link: [url=http://www.mobafire.com/league-of-legends/build/jungle-amumu-a-guide-to-depressing-your-enemies-193252]Amumusosad[/url] Have you read my Guide to Making a Guide? YES Have you run your guide through a spell check? YES Forgot to post this when I first published my guide, and I'm curious to hear your opinion :D [/quote] [/spoiler] [spoiler=CounterSnipe][quote=CounterSnipe] Hello :D I'm Countersnipe on the N.A. Server! I wrote this guide on how to jungle Jarvan: http://www.mobafire.com/league-of-legends/build/i-jungle-jarvan-267605 I read your guide on how to make guides super awesome and put you in my credits section along with TheOddOne and Stonewall008 :D I also know how to spell and use spell check! I'm hoping you can give me criticism on this jungle guide for J4. It is my first guide, but I made it look nice and pretty and everything! It took me about 10 hours or so to accomplish XD [/quote] [/spoiler] [spoiler=Nytrite][quote=Nytrite] Name: Nytrite Link: http://www.mobafire.com/league-of-legends/build/updated-let-me-fizz-you-up-a-fizz-guide-245850 YES YES Hope you could check my guide, I really want to know on what other people think ^^ [/quote] [/spoiler] [columns] [nextcol width=100][color=#0080ff][b]NAME[/b][/color] -------------------------------- [nextcol width=30] [nextcol width=100][color=#ff8000][b]CHAMPION[/b][/color] -------------------------------- [nextcol width=30] [nextcol width=100][color=#0080ff][b]RATING[/b][/color] ------------------------------- [nextcol width=30] [nextcol width=100][color=#ff8000][b]DATE[/b][/color] --------------------------- [/columns][/quote]

[quote=CounterSnipe]I'm actually going to have to re-do my guide a little bit because: a) It's a jungle guide, so I have to rework the mechanics and builds. b) I have 1 more loss than win in ranked games for my guide's champion... I don't feel I have the right to tell people how to play a champion if I can't maintain a 50%+ ratio on that champion XD I will re-post to this thread once the new guide is completed. Don't feel the need to hold my place in line or anything, there's no rush. :D *Edit*: Also... I don't know if this is a bug in Mobafire's system, but I can't seem to edit my posted guide... :\ I'll give it a few days, but if worst comes to worst I'll just re-post it lol XD *Edit #2* I can edit now... Something was wrong with Firefox, but Chrome works fine with Mobafire ^^[/quote]

[quote=That Trev Person]Might want to postpone my guide review for now, since I'm still doing some testing for the new season 3 stuff and testing the new item build tools on mobafire.[/quote]

[quote=jhoijhoi]I'll postpone all reviews for a week while everyone sorts out their new masteries and items etc for S3.[/quote]

[quote=Roronoa EvrIs][quote=jhoijhoi] I'll postpone all reviews for a week while everyone sorts out their new masteries and items etc for S3. [/quote] Good decision.[/quote]