jhoijhoi's review & discussion service

[quote=Nytrite]Hey jhoijhoi, thanks for the review last time, but can you review my guide again, check the grammar or the way my guide looks like and the things in it? Thanks... Guide: http://www.mobafire.com/league-of-legends/build/let-me-fizz-you-up-a-fizz-guide-updated-245850# Yes Yes[/quote]

[quote=morrkevi]Name: morrkevi Link: http://www.mobafire.com/league-of-legends/build/sona-s3-item-testing-inside-the-accomplished-etwahlist-265876 Did you read my Guide to Making a Guide just now? Just now? No, I read it before/after/during making my guide =-D Have you run your guide through a spell check? YES *Note: you asked me to send you this when I made my season 3 ready guide. Here you are! I also added some super awesome pictures.[/quote]

[quote=F3ar0ner]Hey JhoiJhoi! It would be great if you could do a review on my guide when you have time. Name:F3ar0ner Link:[url=http://www.mobafire.com/league-of-legends/build/akali-the-shadow-assassin-234219]Here[/url] Did you read my Guide to Making a Guide? Yes Have you run your guide through a spell check? Yes One thing through, my matchup section is not finished and it needs a lot of work. If you could, don't take it into account. Edit: I just read that the requests are closed. Anyway, ignore this if you want and I'll request again.[/quote]

[quote=jhoijhoi]I'm on Christmas break at the moment, but I'll get to these requests when I can :)[/quote]

[quote=devdevil]Hi jhoijhoi, I thought this might be a useful place to start for my guide :) Anyways, Name: Devdevil Guide: http://www.mobafire.com/league-of-legends/build/ashes-season-a-christmas-guide-276463 Did you read my guide to Making a Guide just now? Why yes I did! Thanks for making that by the way :) Have you run your guide through a spell check? Yup! By the way, it's not completed fully, I just wanted to see how it is so far :)[/quote]

[quote=jhoijhoi]Note, all of you who requested after I said the shop was closed, won't get reviewed or go on the list of requests ^^ You'll have to request again when I am open :)[/quote]

[quote=Athan][quote=jhoijhoi] Note, all of you who requested after I said the shop was closed, won't get reviewed or go on the list of requests ^^ You'll have to request again when I am open :) [/quote] When will you open again :D? You should update the main post... or maybe you did and i missed it, dunno, i'm blind at times. Looking forward to your re-opening, i need some proper feedback, things are slow at the moment :P[/quote]

[quote=jhoijhoi][columns] [nextcol width=450][color=#0080ff][h2][b]Current Requests[/b][/h2][/color] ------------------ Slowly plowing through the list. Please be patient. [nextcol width=30] [nextcol width=450][color=red][h2][b]Shop Status: CLOSED![/b][/h2][/color] ------------------ Please don't request until this says "OPEN!" Thank you![/columns] [spoiler=NinjaNick95][quote=NinjaNick95] I'd like to request a review, please :) My guide is brand new for Season 3 and can be reviewed whenever you get the chance. Name: NinjaNick95 =P Link: http://www.mobafire.com/league-of-legends/build/season-3-jungle-amumu-off-tank-ap-and-pure-ap-270317 Have I read your guide: You bet, used some separators and gave credit as well :) Have I spell-checked: Yep! [/quote][/spoiler] [spoiler=ShortyHUN][quote=ShortyHUN] Hi there! Got a review for you, cant refuse, I'm really good at cooking ;) Name: ShortyHUN Link: http://www.mobafire.com/league-of-legends/build/wukong-insanity-season-3-269839 Have I read you guide: umm not sure if more than 10 or 20 times lol Have I spell-checked: Double checked, sorry if I overlooked something [/quote][/spoiler] [spoiler=Roronoa EvrIs][quote=Roronoa EvrIs] Back for a re-review if you please. Summoner Name: Roronoa Evris Summoner Level: 30 Post Count (Time of Request): 176 Spell+Grammar check: Yes Have you read my Guide to Making a Guide?: YES! Guide for (champion): [[Shen]] Why I'd Like This Reviewed: I have updated it for S3 and kept your suggestions in mind. What I'd Like You to Focus on: Again almost everything I guess. :) Link: [url=http://www.mobafire.com/league-of-legends/build/ap-tank-shen-ninja-gaiden-in-lol-196144]here it is[/url] [/quote][/spoiler] [spoiler=Patyfatycake][quote=Patyfatycake] Name: Patyfatycake Link: http://www.mobafire.com/league-of-legends/build/season-3-time-to-play-the-league-of-draven-263963 Have you read my Guide to Making a Guide? YES Have you run your guide through a spell check? YES although grammar is not my strong suite. [/quote][/spoiler] [spoiler][quote=CounterSnipe] Name: CounterSnipe Link http://www.mobafire.com/league-of-legends/build/support-leona-season-3-271286 I read your guide. You're in my credits section. I'll write you a poem and I'll draw you a picture. I have the best spell check in the world. [/quote][/spoiler] [spoiler=Nemo][quote=Nemo] Name: Nemo Link: http://www.mobafire.com/league-of-legends/build/note-in-da-head-retribution-and-protection-sona-guide-s3-173940 Have you read my Guide to Making a Guide? Yes Have you run your guide through a spell check? Yes, but have to make some more fixes tho :P. Best regards, Your Nemo. [/quote][/spoiler] [spoiler][quote=Extise] Guide For: Me. Why I'd like this to be Reviewed: To see for flaws/criticism What I'd like you to focus on: Anything? 0.o Guide Link: [url=http://www.mobafire.com/league-of-legends/build/shen-the-victorious-toplaner-253602]Shen Guide[/url] Have you read my Guide to Making a Guide? Yes Have you run your guide through a spell check? Yes [/quote][/spoiler] [columns] [nextcol width=100][color=#0080ff][b]NAME[/b][/color] -------------------------------- [nextcol width=30] [nextcol width=100][color=#ff8000][b]CHAMPION[/b][/color] -------------------------------- [nextcol width=30] [nextcol width=100][color=#0080ff][b]RATING[/b][/color] ------------------------------- [nextcol width=30] [nextcol width=100][color=#ff8000][b]DATE[/b][/color] --------------------------- [/columns][/quote]

[quote=jhoijhoi][columns] [nextcol width=100][color=#0080ff][b]NAME[/b][/color] -------------------------------- NinjaNick95 [nextcol width=30] [nextcol width=100][color=#ff8000][b]CHAMPION[/b][/color] -------------------------------- [url=http://www.mobafire.com/league-of-legends/build/season-3-jungle-amumu-offtank-ap-and-pure-ap-270317]SR Jungle Amumu[/url] [nextcol width=30] [nextcol width=100][color=#0080ff][b]RATING[/b][/color] ------------------------------- [color=#008000]5/10[/color] [nextcol width=30] [nextcol width=100][color=#ff8000][b]DATE[/b][/color] --------------------------- 03/01/13 [/columns] [spoiler=NinjaNick95's SR Jungle Amumu Guide Review] [color=#0080ff][h2]Cheat Sheet[/h2][/color] ------------------ [b]Items[/b] > Hmm. Even including the Gold Quints, I'm not sure this build is affordable. And I haven't play tested Seraph's on Amumu, but as jungle Amumu, it's pretty standard to grab that early Abyssal/Sunfire. Tear is unnecessary. Although this is an AP build, Amumu isn't a caster, or rather, he should be built a little tankier. Have you considered other AP items that give more survivability? [b]Ability Sequence[/b] > Um... :/ You should start with [[Tantrum]] for the reduced damage, it's more optimal than Despair. Starting Despair is subpar to Tantrum. [b]Masteries[/b] > One of Amumu's key strengths is his ganking ability with Flash + CotSM + Bandage Toss (or any sort of combo). As such you should really be taking [[awareness]] to level up faster in the jungle. Also not sure whether Artificer is worth it when you only have one castable item. [h2][color=#0080ff]Guide[/color][/h2] -------------------- [b]Introduction + Is Playing Amumu Worth It + Pro Player Pick Video[/b] > Oh god... coloured AND centred text. You need to consider whether you actually are deterring readers just because of the blast of colour. Additionally, centred text looks tacky :/ Finally, these three chapters should be merged together; you're delaying the reader from reading what they WANT to read. [b]Season 3: What you need to know[/b] > Actually, I'll have to disagree here... Spirit of the Spectral Wraith is a fantastic item on AP junglers and will keep you sustained during your route. Also, this is a poor jungle guide if the only part about the jungle is 50 words :/ [color=#0080ff][h2][b]Score[/b][/h2][/color] ---------------------- [b]Appearance[/b] > 1.5/3. You've tried to use BBCoding effectively and it has worked wonders for some of your chapters, such as your Summoner Spells and Abilities chapter, but I feel as if you can improve your guide greatly by doing two things: 1) Removing all of that awful centred text. 2) Updating your BBCoding to an even higher level. Both objectives will be hard to implement, but if you want your guide's coding to be the best, you need to work for it :) Finally, I feel as if your chapter ordering is off kilter. I tend to believe that a guide should talk about pre-game things before in-game things. When you're in the lobby and it's Amumu free week and you're looking at a guide, you want to be able to scroll down, find the summoners, runes and masteries and just play. Later there is time to read the other stuff. [b]Content[/b] > 1.5/3. I like the content you do provide, but it's severely lacking in many places. You took the time to screenshot useful places for Bandage Toss, but not the time to format and display the jungle route. If I had just skimmed the guide, I never would have seen the 50 or so words about the jungle route and just closed your guide (as a viewer looking for a jungle Amumu route). I felt your Abilities section was quite good, and the explanations for the items really showed your thought processess, which was nice. I get sick of reading things like, "More MR, good"; you instead talk about why Runic Bulwark is good. Thank you. [b]Viability[/b] > 2/4. Sort of viable. There are bits and pieces that are off in my opinion; starting Despair, grabbing Tear of the Goddess, skipping Awareness. I think if you provide better reasoning for all of these (or changed them), your viability rating would be higher. [b]Total Score > 5 - Upvote (only receivable with a reply to this thread).[/b] I enjoyed reading your guide; you have a way with words and don't hesitate to write from your own thoughts, not others. However, in terms of viability, this has hurt your score. I did like your guide and wish you the best of luck for the future! :) Edit: I had a quick read of the comments and I am severely disappointed to see that Athan said exactly the same things I did and you didn't change your guide based on feedback. That's a bad sign of an author too set in his ways to attempt something different :/ To be brutally honest, the least you could have done would be to improve/elaborate on your explanations for why you didn't change your guide to reflect feedback. Any sort of explaining to a comment can go straight into your guide to make it more in-depth and clearer to the reader.[/spoiler][/quote]

[quote=NinjaNick95][quote=jhoijhoi] [columns] [nextcol width=100][color=#0080ff][b]NAME[/b][/color] -------------------------------- NinjaNick95 [nextcol width=30] [nextcol width=100][color=#ff8000][b]CHAMPION[/b][/color] -------------------------------- [url=http://www.mobafire.com/league-of-legends/build/season-3-jungle-amumu-offtank-ap-and-pure-ap-270317]SR Jungle Amumu[/url] [nextcol width=30] [nextcol width=100][color=#0080ff][b]RATING[/b][/color] ------------------------------- [color=#008000]5/10[/color] [nextcol width=30] [nextcol width=100][color=#ff8000][b]DATE[/b][/color] --------------------------- 03/01/13 [/columns] [spoiler=NinjaNick95's SR Jungle Amumu Guide Review] [color=#0080ff][h2]Cheat Sheet[/h2][/color] ------------------ [b]Items[/b] > Hmm. Even including the Gold Quints, I'm not sure this build is affordable. And I haven't play tested Seraph's on Amumu, but as jungle Amumu, it's pretty standard to grab that early Abyssal/Sunfire. Tear is unnecessary. Although this is an AP build, Amumu isn't a caster, or rather, he should be built a little tankier. Have you considered other AP items that give more survivability? [b]Ability Sequence[/b] > Um... :/ You should start with [[Tantrum]] for the reduced damage, it's more optimal than Despair. Starting Despair is subpar to Tantrum. [b]Masteries[/b] > One of Amumu's key strengths is his ganking ability with Flash + CotSM + Bandage Toss (or any sort of combo). As such you should really be taking [[awareness]] to level up faster in the jungle. Also not sure whether Artificer is worth it when you only have one castable item. [h2][color=#0080ff]Guide[/color][/h2] -------------------- [b]Introduction + Is Playing Amumu Worth It + Pro Player Pick Video[/b] > Oh god... coloured AND centred text. You need to consider whether you actually are deterring readers just because of the blast of colour. Additionally, centred text looks tacky :/ Finally, these three chapters should be merged together; you're delaying the reader from reading what they WANT to read. [b]Season 3: What you need to know[/b] > Actually, I'll have to disagree here... Spirit of the Spectral Wraith is a fantastic item on AP junglers and will keep you sustained during your route. Also, this is a poor jungle guide if the only part about the jungle is 50 words :/ [color=#0080ff][h2][b]Score[/b][/h2][/color] ---------------------- [b]Appearance[/b] > 1.5/3. You've tried to use BBCoding effectively and it has worked wonders for some of your chapters, such as your Summoner Spells and Abilities chapter, but I feel as if you can improve your guide greatly by doing two things: 1) Removing all of that awful centred text. 2) Updating your BBCoding to an even higher level. Both objectives will be hard to implement, but if you want your guide's coding to be the best, you need to work for it :) Finally, I feel as if your chapter ordering is off kilter. I tend to believe that a guide should talk about pre-game things before in-game things. When you're in the lobby and it's Amumu free week and you're looking at a guide, you want to be able to scroll down, find the summoners, runes and masteries and just play. Later there is time to read the other stuff. [b]Content[/b] > 1.5/3. I like the content you do provide, but it's severely lacking in many places. You took the time to screenshot useful places for Bandage Toss, but not the time to format and display the jungle route. If I had just skimmed the guide, I never would have seen the 50 or so words about the jungle route and just closed your guide (as a viewer looking for a jungle Amumu route). I felt your Abilities section was quite good, and the explanations for the items really showed your thought processess, which was nice. I get sick of reading things like, "More MR, good"; you instead talk about why Runic Bulwark is good. Thank you. [b]Viability[/b] > 2/4. Sort of viable. There are bits and pieces that are off in my opinion; starting Despair, grabbing Tear of the Goddess, skipping Awareness. I think if you provide better reasoning for all of these (or changed them), your viability rating would be higher. [b]Total Score > 5 - Upvote (only receivable with a reply to this thread).[/b] I enjoyed reading your guide; you have a way with words and don't hesitate to write from your own thoughts, not others. However, in terms of viability, this has hurt your score. I did like your guide and wish you the best of luck for the future! :) Edit: I had a quick read of the comments and I am severely disappointed to see that Athan said exactly the same things I did and you didn't change your guide based on feedback. That's a bad sign of an author too set in his ways to attempt something different :/ To be brutally honest, the least you could have done would be to improve/elaborate on your explanations for why you didn't change your guide to reflect feedback. Any sort of explaining to a comment can go straight into your guide to make it more in-depth and clearer to the reader.[/spoiler] [/quote] Hi there, thanks so much for the review! I have a few things I'd like to discuss with you, though (seriously, not arguing or whatnot). Um, upon finishing this, it's reaaaally long. Just a warning. Feel free to respond via a comment or PM if you wish. [spoiler] First off and biggest on my list of concerns, when did starting with Despair become worse than starting with Tantrum? Every jungle Amumu guide starts with this other than the #1 guide (and I think that was off of your suggestion). I'm certain it was the best starting ability in Season 2, when did it make this transition to be better? The only monsters you kill before leveling to 2 is the Blue Golem and its little lizards (at least, in my guide). Wouldn't the % damage (faster kill) from Despair more than make up for the little bit more damage taken? Or, more likely, is this because some will start wolves first, and then blue? I'll go in order based on your review from here on out. [u]Items[/u] Although having a game last long enough to get a full build on any champion is rare, having a full build is never out of the question. I went ahead and looked at total cost of my guide and a few others to see the difference in cost... My build with the Seraph's costs 15,200 gold. The 'Adapted S2 build' costs 15,800. That Trev Person's (#1) Guide's 'Example final build' not including listed consumables costs 16,200. The #2 guide by Vayzian with his 'Spectral Wraith build' and the Captain enchantment for consistency, costs 15,200 gold...the same as mine. I would use the #3 guide as well, but it has not yet been updated since the Season 3 release. None of them recommend Gold Quints either, so uh.... I'm a little confused by your recommendation to build tankier. Archangel's is the only item that doesn't have direct defensive stats. Even then, the significant shield it gives is more than enough to block DoT's such as Ignite or Darius' passive's stacks, which an enemy may rely on to finish you off. Sunfire Cape, Abyssal, and Rylai's are the Holy Trinity as far as Amumu is concerned...what would I change besides Seraph's? Rabadon's and Runic Bulwark are swapping places for my Adapted S2 build, by the way. I've been considering it for a while. Would it be too much to ask your opinion on Liandry's Torment for Amumu? [u]Masteries[/u] I really need some sincere advice here. I'm stretched thinner across the board than I'm comfortable with. How can I reallocate points to afford to put them into Awareness? It's a whopping 4 points for a 5% increase...it was just a huge turnoff when I was looking at my options. [u]Intro + other stuff[/u] Sure, I can combine them. I'll remove some of the colored text, too. I really do like centered text, though =\ I'll probably have to find a few more pictures to make up for the loss of color. I just don't want it to feel/look bland. [u]Season 3 info[/u] So....Spirit of the Spectral Wraith, or tankiness like you recommended earlier? In the mid to late game, damage from monsters isn't a concern at all. I'll be sure to expand on the jungle information. [u]Other[/u] Taking the coding to a higher level? I'm no BBC wizard like you, but I can sure try. I'll take a look at the chapter ordering, thanks. As a quick note on Athan's advice, I have certainly taken it into account, and now that Christmas break has finished, you should see some changes surface in a few days. However, much of what he says refers to my pure AP build, which isn't my main focus, and as I suggest in my reply to him, might end up being removed. The clear order he suggested is very bad. I'm assuming he forgot something in between those two wolf camp clears, because that is a [i]lot[/i] of waiting. Other than the 'more tankiness' thing, I'm not seeing much similarity between yours and his advice at all. [/spoiler] As a final note, thank you for all the time you put into the review and into this shop as a whole ^_^[/quote]