Click to open network menu
Join or Log In
Mobafire logo

Join the leading League of Legends community. Create and share Champion Guides and Builds.

Create an MFN Account






Or

's Forum Avatar

Pro Help on Pro Essay QUICKLY

Creator: MrCuddowls September 10, 2012 1:27am

This thread is locked

PLEASE NOTE: This thread has been locked by the moderators. You cannot reply to it.

1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9
Toshabi
<Veteran>
Toshabi's Forum Avatar
Show more awards
Posts:
5946
Joined:
Jan 18th, 2011
Permalink | Quote | PM | +Rep September 10, 2012 9:03pm | Report
MrCuddowls wrote:
Also this Essay is a what you believe kinda thing so you cant not use I in it



Can't use I in it. It's not a personalized essay, but it's not an informative essay. WTF IS THIS ****?!
jhoijhoi wrote:

Also, I think the levels of immorality in this thread are astounding. You'd really throw a child off a boat for your own luggage? Wow.





PsiGuard
<Retired Admin>
PsiGuard's Forum Avatar
Show more awards
Posts:
10290
Joined:
Jun 26th, 2011
Permalink | Quote | PM | +Rep September 10, 2012 9:08pm | Report
I'm pretty sure that double negative was intentional. He's saying it's impossible to write the essay without using "I" since it's a personal topic.

Where did you originally get the idea that using "I" was forbidden for this essay, Tosh?
Thanks to The_Nameless_Bard for the sig!
MrCuddowls
<Member>
MrCuddowls's Forum Avatar
Show more awards
Posts:
1733
Joined:
May 31st, 2012
Permalink | Quote | PM | +Rep September 10, 2012 9:39pm | Report
Psi i love you
Thank you for specifying this
at least someone understands
Toshabi
<Veteran>
Toshabi's Forum Avatar
Show more awards
Posts:
5946
Joined:
Jan 18th, 2011
Permalink | Quote | PM | +Rep September 10, 2012 9:56pm | Report
WHY WOULD YOU MAKE YOUR INFORMATION HAVE LOOP HOLES IN IT WHEN PEOPLE ARE TRYING TO HELP YOU YOU LITTLE FOOL! >:CCCC

PsiGuard wrote:

I'm pretty sure that double negative was intentional. He's saying it's impossible to write the essay without using "I" since it's a personal topic.

Where did you originally get the idea that using "I" was forbidden for this essay, Tosh?


Yeh that's true. I wasn't paying attention to that double negative. Also, yeah, using I or saying "I think"/"We believe" isn't allowed in proper essays when giving a point of view on a topic or discussing a topic in general that isn't personalized. This is in accordance to ALA and MLA formatting and is the standard when writing a paper. Sort of one of the 7 deadly sins of writing. Yeh, my old school/college courses would mark off for using "I" in a paper.
MrCuddowls wrote:

Hahahaha telling me my items are bad HHAAHAHAHAHAHAHAhA
Listen buddy don't judge someone's items if your only level 13
This build is Platinum approved, Thats all you need to know










MrCuddowls
<Member>
MrCuddowls's Forum Avatar
Show more awards
Posts:
1733
Joined:
May 31st, 2012
Permalink | Quote | PM | +Rep September 11, 2012 12:36am | Report
After some hard work here is part of the essay i have so far

Throughout the days of our dreary lives, there comes a point in time each day when we’re plagued by the unwanted feeling of boredom. I Believe that Video Games are a creative way to escape the clutches of boredom. Ever Since i was four years old, I have found my self playing video games. And even to this day i still play video games a lot and I don't plan on stopping. I soon hope that this hobby will turn into an amazing career. Through Video games, People will be able to escape the boredom of their dreary lifes and have a creative way of enjoying them selves a little more.

I began playing Video games when i was four years old. I always enjoyed playing the world's first, First Person Shooter, Doom. Going through the levels slashing through monsters with my chainsaw or shooting everything down with a shot gun was always fun. I also enjoyed less violant games like Castlevania or Mega man, in which the platforming aspect always annoyed me since you had to begin from he start if you fell down. I was very bored as a child, so i took gaming as a hobby to entertain my self in those boring times.

I continue to play games now. I Currently play games like the "MOBA" League of legends and The "MMORPG" Guild Wars 2. Which game i play is decided by how i feel. So when im in the mood for a strategy game i play League of Legends and when i'm in the mood for an aesthetically pleasing action filled game, i play Guild wars 2. I like both games and find that playing these games has been a very good way of entertaining my self.
jhoijhoi
<MOBAFire Mother>
jhoijhoi's Forum Avatar
Show more awards
Posts:
14438
Joined:
Mar 20th, 2011
Permalink | Quote | PM | +Rep September 11, 2012 5:04am | Report
I am lurking MobaFire, because I'm meant to be doing assessment, but I couldn't help logging in for this topic. As a student studying to become an English teacher, I have a vested interest in helping others with their written assignments.

A few pointers:

1) For the love of all things cute and fluffy install a spell-check within your browser. In a day and age like today there is no excuse, not one, for a spelling error (which run rampant within your essay, Cuddowls). Alternatively copy+paste from Microsoft Word. Don't have Microsoft Office Suite? Get a Google account and use Google Docs.


2) If this is an essay essay, a legit format should be followed, which is:

Intro > Body {Par1, Par2, Par3}, Conclusion

via:

P
E
E
L

P = Point
E = Evidence
E = Explain
L = Link

Start a sentence with a Point. Follow up this Point with Evidence. Explain said Evidence. Provide a Link to the next Paragraph.

The Introduction should include the concepts (or Points) you will be discussing within the essay. The Conclusion should never introduce new information and should be a summary of the Points within Par1, Par2 and Par3.


3) Do not repeat yourself unnecessarily, "since I was four".


4) Even if this is an opinionated essay, do not divulge "unattractive" or else-wise unsavoury habits/hobbies. Instead of talking about "slashing through monsters", talk about the drive you felt to discover hidden secret rooms through puzzle-like mechanics, or the necessity to have good hand-eye co-ordination to ensure your reaction time is adequate enough to defend your character in unknown confines.


That's all for now, I'll be back to check later.
guide writing tips 'n tricksashes to ashesfancy a sig?

♡ sig by thenamelessbard ♡
jhoijhoi
<MOBAFire Mother>
jhoijhoi's Forum Avatar
Show more awards
Posts:
14438
Joined:
Mar 20th, 2011
Permalink | Quote | PM | +Rep September 11, 2012 5:19am | Report
k, so read the other pages in this thread. It's an opinion piece. Structuring it like an essay may help you though. I've just added in random topics as points that may help you a little.

Intro: Introduce us to the topic. Video games lessens boredom. Point one, point two, point three. Link.

Par1: Start a sentence with a Point (VIDEO GAMES LESSEN BOREDOM VIA... ?). Follow up this Point with Evidence. Explain said Evidence. Provide a Link to the next Paragraph.

Par2: Start a sentence with a Point (IN ADDITION TO THE POINT ABOVE, VIDEO GAMES HAVE HELPED ME DEVELOP...). Follow up this Point with Evidence. Explain said Evidence. Provide a Link to the next Paragraph.

Par3: Start a sentence with a Point (IN THE FUTURE VIDEO GAMES WILL...). Follow up this Point with Evidence. Explain said Evidence. Provide a Link to the next Paragraph.

Conclusion: Reinstate the topic, summarise main points.
guide writing tips 'n tricksashes to ashesfancy a sig?

♡ sig by Jovy ♡
MrCuddowls
<Member>
MrCuddowls's Forum Avatar
Show more awards
Posts:
1733
Joined:
May 31st, 2012
Permalink | Quote | PM | +Rep September 11, 2012 6:35am | Report
Lota college students
I wish iwas in college with you guys
Anyway in terms of the essay
Peope have monumentaly helpful and i learned a lot
Im going to try and change some stuff based on what jhoi said.
Im in class right so im reaallly busy
Canoas
<Member>
Canoas's Forum Avatar
Posts:
3064
Joined:
Nov 9th, 2010
Permalink | Quote | PM | +Rep September 11, 2012 11:01am | Report
@Toshabi
What buggers me is that MrCuddowls was supposed to know what his text is about but instead was fine with the paragraph you wrote, when he should know fully well that it has nothing to do with what was asked.

@Jhoijhoi
It seems you didn't read the other pages.. It's not supposed to be about video games, or proving how good/bad they are, it's about a personal experience. What you're doing is pretty much what Tosh wrote.

@MrCuddowls
As I just said to Tosh, you should know what kind of essay you are supposed to write. Tosh wrote an informative piece and you were OK with it, it was me and PsyGuard who had to say it wasn't what was asked. And as it wasn't bad enough, you just did the same thing with Jhoijhoi. It seems to me you don't even know what kind of essay your teacher assigned, maybe you should work on that before you ask for help with writing it.
Toshabi
<Veteran>
Toshabi's Forum Avatar
Show more awards
Posts:
5946
Joined:
Jan 18th, 2011
Permalink | Quote | PM | +Rep September 11, 2012 11:57am | Report
Wait, you're in college cuddles…?


@Canoas, there's a 90% chance that this guy has no idea what his teacher truly wants from this essay and chances are, this was suppose to be an informative essay, yet he's too dead set on stocking to a reference text as closely as possible that he has literally warped the initial instructions of his professor in order to make it suitable so he can strictly follow the guideline set up by the example. From the rules post he made about the structure of this essay, it's obvious that he has no clue what the teacher really wanta and is fumbling through a binder full of papers to complete an essay assigned weeks ago. I ain't helping this idiot more than I have (seeing how he was asking for me to do a body paragraph for him). My last piece of advice to cuddles is to pay attention in class and actually do the exercises in class and NOT WAIT TO THE LAST MINUTE TO DO PROJECTS. That means NOT spending 90% of your work time on videogames. Aight, abandon thread!!!


This post was made on my droid smart phone:3
1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9

League of Legends Champions:

Teamfight Tactics Guide