jhoijhoi's review & discussion service

[quote=Extise]Guide For: Me. Why I'd like this to be Reviewed: To see for flaws/criticism What I'd like you to focus on: Anything? 0.o Guide Link: [url=http://www.mobafire.com/league-of-legends/build/shen-the-victorious-toplaner-253602]Shen Guide[/url] Have you read my Guide to Making a Guide? Yes Have you run your guide through a spell check? Yes[/quote]

[quote=CounterSnipe]My responces are in [color=#808080]GREY[/color] [quote=jhoijhoi] [columns] [nextcol width=100][color=#0080ff][b]NAME[/b][/color] -------------------------------- CounterSnipe [nextcol width=30] [nextcol width=100][color=#ff8000][b]CHAMPION[/b][/color] -------------------------------- [url=http://www.mobafire.com/league-of-legends/build/i-jungle-jarvan-season-3-267605]SR Jungle Jarvan[/url] [nextcol width=30] [nextcol width=100][color=#0080ff][b]RATING[/b][/color] ------------------------------- [color=#008000]6.5[/color] [nextcol width=30] [nextcol width=100][color=#ff8000][b]DATE[/b][/color] --------------------------- 10/12/12 [/columns] [spoiler=CounterSnipe's Jungle Jarvan Guide Review] [color=#0080ff][h2]Cheat Sheet[/h2][/color] ------------------ [b]Runes[/b] > For a second I was confused about the Attack Speed runes, but then I realised it was a jungle guide, rofl. With this in mind, flat MR seems odd - whilst you will get in skirmishes early game, I don't see Jarvan dying to AP mid. I think scaling would serve you better. [color=#808080][b]Scaling is only better if J4 is in top against an AD opponent. If you're an aggressive jungler who ganks all lanes, as well as invades, you need to have the flat MR. The Odd One talked in depth about this in his jungle shyvana guide, and it's actually the reason I run flats now lol. I mean, just think of ganking bot lane with a [[leona]] + [[ezreal]] combination, or countering an enemy jungle [[fiddlesticks]].[/b][/color] [b]Purchase Order[/b] > Not sure if I like the [[atma's impaler]] here when items such as [[iceborn gauntlet]] would give more damage and the same-ish armour. [color=#808080][b]It would but you don't need the mana or the AP. It's just an option I put because I used it in S2, and still go for it sometimes. Don't forget that Atma's has crit chance, which is a great thing for an AA champion like J4 to have in a fight. But in all honesty, [[randuin's omen]] is king if we're going to debate which armor item he should get because it gives him lots of defensive stats and a super hard CC.[/b][/color] [b]Ability Sequence[/b] > I would suggest writing a note here that grabbing an early level of Q will allow better ganks. [color=#808080][b]I think I talk about it in my guide. Not sure tho.[/b][/color] [b]Masteries[/b] > Why grab [[Butcher]] over [[Fury]]? [[juggernaut]] > [[tenacious]] in my personal opinion. [color=#808080][b]Consider that J4 will be doing 60-70 damage for his first clear. The extra 4 true damage from [[butcher]] is amassive damage % increase for these early clears. Yeah, [[juggernaut]] is better because J4 will be the initiator, so even if he is CCd he can just count to 3 and then go on about his day. I should change it.[/b][/color] [h2][color=#0080ff]Guide[/color][/h2] -------------------- [b]Introduction[/b] > Initially I thought the pros/cons was about your guide. You should make it clear that you're talking about Jarvan here. [color=#808080][b]XD[/b][/color] [b]Runes[/b] > For the love of god, read over your work for grammatical/syntax errors. "You they also help"; read your words aloud to find poorly worded sentences. If you mention that the runes can be swapped out, you should have some alternatives listed. [color=#808080][b]IT WAS LATE XD[/b][/color] [b]Jungling and Routes[/b] > You could add a jungle route map in here for more clarification. [color=#808080]I've read a lot of jungle guides. Probably 90% of the ones on solomid.net and a good portion of the ones here, and I really don't like it when the authors do this. I feel it's like they're trying to make the guide longer than it needs to be. I personally prefer it if the routes are listed with a description below. It's just so much more concise than listing 10 pictures of summoner's rift. That's me, I really don't think Im going to do this unless i every decide to write a counter jungle guide... then things have to be shown by picture, but for a normal jungler, words are fine imo.[/color] [b]Match ups[/b] > You could add headings to each of these seperate types of junglers. [color=#808080][b]I could >.>[/b][/color] [color=#0080ff][h2][b]Score[/b][/h2][/color] ---------------------- [b]Appearance[/b] > 1.5/3. You're on the right track, but there's still heaps of room for improvement. For example, it should be ICON | (space) | Text - that's three columns, otherwise the text touches the icon. Most of your coding can be "fixed"/upgraded to this formatting and it'll improve the aesthetic appeal of your guide. I really like the skill pictures, they're helpful, especially the image of dropping your flag over the wall. Additionally, if you use line dividers, you should add an extra space before and after it so the images don't touch the text. [color=#808080]I will re-read your guide lol. I read it like a year ago.[/color] [b]Content[/b] > 2/3. I like your explanations of pretty much everything except the really short chapters about runes and masteries. You lose points because of these chapters; they're pretty important, but you spend no time to explain your choices here. I also think you could list a few more alternative items. What about [[iceborn gauntlet]]? The reason these chapters are so short: [color=#808080][b]1) Masteries are generic for tanky junglers. You will always see an x/21/x page on any tanky jungler, with the exception of [[maokai]] who is in love with the utility tree. If you're (general, not you jhoijhoi) a noob-ish jungler and need an explanation as to why a tanky jungler would need 21 points in defense then you really have to look at the general jungle guides before looking at champion specific ones.[/b][/color] [color=#808080][b][/b][/color] [color=#808080][b]2) Runes - New jungle makes it so that the only trunes that are absolutely mandatory are the armor yellows. After you go back to base and pick up the [[madred's razors]] J4 will melt the jungle. Then it goes into personal play style. If you're an aggressive ganker like me, you want M.S. and early resistances. If you're a power jungler (jungler till level 6 and usually farms jungle more than gank) then you'd be running a completely different set of runes.[/b][/color] [color=#808080][b][/b][/color] [color=#808080][b]I feel that this is common knowledge among semi-skilled junglers. Or should I have to explain every small detail about every choice I make? I wouldn't mind doing that...... but I think that people should have a minimum level of knowledge before reading champion specific guides, you know?[/b][/color] [b]Viability[/b] > 3/4. Pretty darn viable, and very similar to what I'd build except the Atma's, which is why you lost points here. I'd recommend using the multiple purchase orders available in the new MobaFire builder so you can explain your choices better. [color=#808080][b]I actually disagree with that multiple purchase order thing. I mean, if I were to consider every build order I've made with this champion over the last 7 days I'd need about 15 purchase orders lol. And, personally, I don't think items should even be included in guides! I mean, if you play the game, and you know what the items do, and you know what counter building is, then there's really no point to having an items section lol. But that's me :P[/b][/color] [b]Total Score > 6.5 - Upvote (only receivable with a reply to this thread).[/b] Your guide REALLY doesn't deserve the low score it has, and I'd recommend archiving it and re-releasing it. The area that needs most improvement in your guide are aesthetics via formatting. Your content is great and I feel as if new Jarvan players would really benefit from reading your guide, well done :)[/spoiler] [/quote] [color=#808080][b]I think I'll keep it. I have a bunch of up votes already, and I don't want to have to earn them all over again. Also, don't feel the need to look at my leona guide unless you have the time. I mean, nobody's voted on it (i don't know why lol) but you have a lot more guides to look over, so don't feel obligated to look at it. OH, AND THANKS FOR READING MY GUIDE :D JUST TOOK ME A WHOLE POST TO SAY THANKS AND IT SHOULD HAVE BEEN THE FIRST THING I SAID XD[/b][/color][/quote]

[quote=jhoijhoi][color=#0080ff][b]CounterSnipe:[/b][/color] Flat MR: Then say so in your guide. Like I said, your mastery and rune sections are unexplained. Whilst you should cater the build for "high elo", the people reading your guide WILL BE low elo/unranked/pre30. They don't know what you and I know. Then if Randuin's is better for armour, why have you got Atma's in the build? Ability sequence: You may, but there are NOTES for a reason, so you can add tidbits like that to the cheat sheet when people don't have time to read the entire game. Jungle Route Image: I didn't mean multiple images, I meant one, a MAP. Visual learners are aided by objects like these. My Coding Guide: Just because of your comment, I'm changing the wording to "READ MY GUIDE", not "have you read my guide" rofl. Yes, explain every small detail. You're writing for people who don't know how to play jungle Jarvan. If you aren't going to explain the small stuff, how are they going to grasp the big stuff? Multiple purchase order: Um... Be creative, you don't have to list every single item in every single purchase order you can think of. Instead have lists like "Early Game", "Survivability", "Damage". It gives readers a good idea of what kind of champion they'll be playing. Signs of an Atma's does not equal ADC, for example. +1 on your guide.[/quote]

[quote=jhoijhoi][columns] [nextcol width=450][color=#0080ff][h2][b]Current Requests[/b][/h2][/color] ------------------ Slowly plowing through the list. Please be patient. [nextcol width=30] [nextcol width=450][color=red][h2][b]Shop Status: CLOSED![/b][/h2][/color] ------------------ Please don't request until this says "OPEN!" Thank you![/columns] [spoiler=Nytrite][quote=Nytrite] Name: Nytrite Link: http://www.mobafire.com/league-of-legends/build/updated-let-me-fizz-you-up-a-fizz-guide-245850 YES YES Hope you could check my guide, I really want to know on what other people think ^^ [/quote] [/spoiler] [spoiler=NinjaNick95][quote=NinjaNick95] I'd like to request a review, please :) My guide is brand new for Season 3 and can be reviewed whenever you get the chance. Name: NinjaNick95 =P Link: http://www.mobafire.com/league-of-legends/build/season-3-jungle-amumu-off-tank-ap-and-pure-ap-270317 Have I read your guide: You bet, used some separators and gave credit as well :) Have I spell-checked: Yep! [/quote][/spoiler] [spoiler=ShortyHUN][quote=ShortyHUN] Hi there! Got a review for you, cant refuse, I'm really good at cooking ;) Name: ShortyHUN Link: http://www.mobafire.com/league-of-legends/build/wukong-insanity-season-3-269839 Have I read you guide: umm not sure if more than 10 or 20 times lol Have I spell-checked: Double checked, sorry if I overlooked something [/quote][/spoiler] [spoiler=Roronoa EvrIs][quote=Roronoa EvrIs] Back for a re-review if you please. Summoner Name: Roronoa Evris Summoner Level: 30 Post Count (Time of Request): 176 Spell+Grammar check: Yes Have you read my Guide to Making a Guide?: YES! Guide for (champion): [[Shen]] Why I'd Like This Reviewed: I have updated it for S3 and kept your suggestions in mind. What I'd Like You to Focus on: Again almost everything I guess. :) Link: [url=http://www.mobafire.com/league-of-legends/build/ap-tank-shen-ninja-gaiden-in-lol-196144]here it is[/url] [/quote][/spoiler] [spoiler=Patyfatycake][quote=Patyfatycake] Name: Patyfatycake Link: http://www.mobafire.com/league-of-legends/build/season-3-time-to-play-the-league-of-draven-263963 Have you read my Guide to Making a Guide? YES Have you run your guide through a spell check? YES although grammar is not my strong suite. [/quote][/spoiler] [spoiler][quote=CounterSnipe] Name: CounterSnipe Link http://www.mobafire.com/league-of-legends/build/support-leona-season-3-271286 I read your guide. You're in my credits section. I'll write you a poem and I'll draw you a picture. I have the best spell check in the world. [/quote][/spoiler] [spoiler=Nemo][quote=Nemo] Name: Nemo Link: http://www.mobafire.com/league-of-legends/build/note-in-da-head-retribution-and-protection-sona-guide-s3-173940 Have you read my Guide to Making a Guide? Yes Have you run your guide through a spell check? Yes, but have to make some more fixes tho :P. Best regards, Your Nemo. [/quote][/spoiler] [spoiler][quote=Extise] Guide For: Me. Why I'd like this to be Reviewed: To see for flaws/criticism What I'd like you to focus on: Anything? 0.o Guide Link: [url=http://www.mobafire.com/league-of-legends/build/shen-the-victorious-toplaner-253602]Shen Guide[/url] Have you read my Guide to Making a Guide? Yes Have you run your guide through a spell check? Yes [/quote][/spoiler] [columns] [nextcol width=100][color=#0080ff][b]NAME[/b][/color] -------------------------------- [nextcol width=30] [nextcol width=100][color=#ff8000][b]CHAMPION[/b][/color] -------------------------------- [nextcol width=30] [nextcol width=100][color=#0080ff][b]RATING[/b][/color] ------------------------------- [nextcol width=30] [nextcol width=100][color=#ff8000][b]DATE[/b][/color] --------------------------- [/columns][/quote]

[quote=jhoijhoi][columns] [nextcol width=100][color=#0080ff][b]NAME[/b][/color] -------------------------------- Nytrite [nextcol width=30] [nextcol width=100][color=#ff8000][b]CHAMPION[/b][/color] -------------------------------- [url=http://www.mobafire.com/league-of-legends/build/let-me-fizz-you-up-a-fizz-guide-updated-245850]SR APC Fizz[/url] [nextcol width=30] [nextcol width=100][color=#0080ff][b]RATING[/b][/color] ------------------------------- [color=#008000]6/10[/color] [nextcol width=30] [nextcol width=100][color=#ff8000][b]DATE[/b][/color] --------------------------- 11/12/12 [/columns] [spoiler=Nytrite's SR Fizz Guide Review] [color=#0080ff][h2]Cheat Sheet[/h2][/color] ------------------ [b]FYI[/b] > Your second build has two Rylai's in it. Are you sure you checked over your guide before publishing and asking for a review? [b]Cheat Sheet #1[/b] > I see no flaws whatsoever in this cheat sheet. Masteries and runes are great, items are what you'd expect on an APC. I don't play Fizz, so I can't give you any advice about your sequencing, but as long as you explain it later in your guide, I'm happy with it. [h2][color=#0080ff]Guide[/color][/h2] -------------------- [b]Introduction[/b] > Oh god... bold AND centred text. My two pet hates. Bolded centred text that is not a title looks completely tacky, in my humble and honest opinion. Your list is broken in the "this guide will aim to" section. You forgot an ending bracket. Lastly, I think you use too many line dividers and it takes up and wastes space. [b]Pros/Cons[/b] > Way too much colour. And I really detest so much centred text. [b]Masteries[/b] > You said you spell checked this... "you will definetely need the blue buff". Why lie? Also, what about a 9/0/21 set up? Fizz is all about getting in and out to deal damage, wouldn't [[nimble]] thus boost his mobility? [b]Ability Sequence and Ability Explanation[/b] > This section does not match the cheat sheet. You say you max Trickster, when the cheat sheet maxes Urchin. [color=#0080ff][h2][b]Score[/b][/h2][/color] ---------------------- [b]Appearance[/b] > 1.5/3. I like the fact that you've gone to the effort of using BBCode; you don't know how much I dislike people who think "oh, coding is a waste of time, I don't have to code, people can just read my bland wall of text 8D". However, you can GREATLY improve the visual aesthetics of your guide by doing two simple things. 1) Removing all of that awful centred text. 2) Updating your BBCoding to an even higher level. [b]Content[/b] > 2/3. The best part of your guide was the "Jungle Gank" section. In all of my guide reading, I have never come across a section that explains what you're supposed to do to aid the jungler in a gank. I think this is a great bit of advice to give your readers and you did a fantastic job explaining what to do. The rest of your guide is written to cater for newer players, and I like that you've explained a lot of your choices in your own words. [b]Viability[/b] > 2.5/4. Definitely viable. Not sure about the ability sequence, as I don't play Fizz, and you lost points there because your cheat sheet was different to your explanation. The items, runes and masteries are what I would choose if I were to play Fizz. [b]Total Score > 6 - Upvote (only receivable with a reply to this thread).[/b] I enjoyed reading your guide once I could get past the fact that everything was centred and bold :/ The content in it is very good and I feel that it would actually help anyone who read it (sometimes I don't get this feeling about extremely in-depth guides). You can improve your score by upgrading the appearance of your guide and clarifying which ability you should skill first on Fizz in the cheat sheet and the guide itself. Good guide :)[/spoiler][/quote]

[quote=Nytrite][quote=jhoijhoi] [columns] [nextcol width=100][color=#0080ff][b]NAME[/b][/color] -------------------------------- Nytrite [nextcol width=30] [nextcol width=100][color=#ff8000][b]CHAMPION[/b][/color] -------------------------------- [url=http://www.mobafire.com/league-of-legends/build/let-me-fizz-you-up-a-fizz-guide-updated-245850]SR APC Fizz[/url] [nextcol width=30] [nextcol width=100][color=#0080ff][b]RATING[/b][/color] ------------------------------- [color=#008000]6/10[/color] [nextcol width=30] [nextcol width=100][color=#ff8000][b]DATE[/b][/color] --------------------------- 11/12/12 [/columns] [spoiler=Nytrite's SR Fizz Guide Review] [color=#0080ff][h2]Cheat Sheet[/h2][/color] ------------------ [b]FYI[/b] > Your second build has two Rylai's in it. Are you sure you checked over your guide before publishing and asking for a review? [b]Cheat Sheet #1[/b] > I see no flaws whatsoever in this cheat sheet. Masteries and runes are great, items are what you'd expect on an APC. I don't play Fizz, so I can't give you any advice about your sequencing, but as long as you explain it later in your guide, I'm happy with it. [h2][color=#0080ff]Guide[/color][/h2] -------------------- [b]Introduction[/b] > Oh god... bold AND centred text. My two pet hates. Bolded centred text that is not a title looks completely tacky, in my humble and honest opinion. Your list is broken in the "this guide will aim to" section. You forgot an ending bracket. Lastly, I think you use too many line dividers and it takes up and wastes space. [b]Pros/Cons[/b] > Way too much colour. And I really detest so much centred text. [b]Masteries[/b] > You said you spell checked this... "you will definetely need the blue buff". Why lie? Also, what about a 9/0/21 set up? Fizz is all about getting in and out to deal damage, wouldn't [[nimble]] thus boost his mobility? [b]Ability Sequence and Ability Explanation[/b] > This section does not match the cheat sheet. You say you max Trickster, when the cheat sheet maxes Urchin. [color=#0080ff][h2][b]Score[/b][/h2][/color] ---------------------- [b]Appearance[/b] > 1.5/3. I like the fact that you've gone to the effort of using BBCode; you don't know how much I dislike people who think "oh, coding is a waste of time, I don't have to code, people can just read my bland wall of text 8D". However, you can GREATLY improve the visual aesthetics of your guide by doing two simple things. 1) Removing all of that awful centred text. 2) Updating your BBCoding to an even higher level. [b]Content[/b] > 2/3. The best part of your guide was the "Jungle Gank" section. In all of my guide reading, I have never come across a section that explains what you're supposed to do to aid the jungler in a gank. I think this is a great bit of advice to give your readers and you did a fantastic job explaining what to do. The rest of your guide is written to cater for newer players, and I like that you've explained a lot of your choices in your own words. [b]Viability[/b] > 2.5/4. Definitely viable. Not sure about the ability sequence, as I don't play Fizz, and you lost points there because your cheat sheet was different to your explanation. The items, runes and masteries are what I would choose if I were to play Fizz. [b]Total Score > 6 - Upvote (only receivable with a reply to this thread).[/b] I enjoyed reading your guide once I could get past the fact that everything was centred and bold :/ The content in it is very good and I feel that it would actually help anyone who read it (sometimes I don't get this feeling about extremely in-depth guides). You can improve your score by upgrading the appearance of your guide and clarifying which ability you should skill first on Fizz in the cheat sheet and the guide itself. Good guide :)[/spoiler] [/quote] [spoiler]Wow, I totally agree with you on most things, I guess I forgot about that "you will definetely need the blue buff" part, but I actually checked it, maybe I just didn't saw it, I even let my friends recheck my spellings and grammar, as of now I'm trying to fix these changes since our server was late in the S3 patch, thanks a lot jhoijhoi, I'm glad that you enjoyed my guide, +rep. I'm definitely gonna removing some of those centered text. I'm also definitely rechecking my guide again. But I still don't have much time, a little busy right now. Good day! :)[/spoiler] Also I kinda disagree with you about the [[Nimble]] thing since [[Fizz]] doesn't need that much movement speed since he already has his passive which gives him the "ignore unit collision" thingy :).[/quote]

[quote=That Trev Person]Thanks for the review Jhoijhoi, I'm currently working on implementing the things you mentioned. My cheat sheet is finally up-to-date with season 3, and hopefully gonna work down it throughout this week. I've already voted on all your guides, so [color=purple]+rep[/color] ;)[/quote]

[quote=morrkevi]Hi JhoiJhoi, You told me to request another review when I fixed up everything for Season 3, but I see you're closed right now. I will wait patiently!! =-D[/quote]

[quote=CounterSnipe][quote=jhoijhoi] [color=#0080ff][b]CounterSnipe:[/b][/color] Flat MR: Then say so in your guide. Like I said, your mastery and rune sections are unexplained. Whilst you should cater the build for "high elo", the people reading your guide WILL BE low elo/unranked/pre30. They don't know what you and I know. Then if Randuin's is better for armour, why have you got Atma's in the build? Ability sequence: You may, but there are NOTES for a reason, so you can add tidbits like that to the cheat sheet when people don't have time to read the entire game. Jungle Route Image: I didn't mean multiple images, I meant one, a MAP. Visual learners are aided by objects like these. My Coding Guide: Just because of your comment, I'm changing the wording to "READ MY GUIDE", not "have you read my guide" rofl. Yes, explain every small detail. You're writing for people who don't know how to play jungle Jarvan. If you aren't going to explain the small stuff, how are they going to grasp the big stuff? Multiple purchase order: Um... Be creative, you don't have to list every single item in every single purchase order you can think of. Instead have lists like "Early Game", "Survivability", "Damage". It gives readers a good idea of what kind of champion they'll be playing. Signs of an Atma's does not equal ADC, for example. +1 on your guide. [/quote] Ok... I think I get you now. I archived it after all and made the build lists like you said, but I'm too in love with [[atma's impaler]] to take it off my guide D: And from a total noobie's perspective I can understand how they would have trouble reading the guide. TY :D[/quote]

[quote=Banishedd]Name: Banishedd Link: http://www.mobafire.com/league-of-legends/build/season-3-nidalee-the-feline-menace-ap-build-268147 Did you read my Guide to Making a Guide just now? YES! Of course~ <3 Have you run your guide through a spell check? YES! Extra: I hope you really enjoy reading my guide if you have the time, if you don't, no problem. I know you're usually busy, so sorry if I'm bothering you. Have a nice day~[/quote]