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jhoijhoi's review & discussion service

Creator: jhoijhoi June 29, 2011 5:44pm
Dante Rebellion
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Guide For: Me.
Why I'd like this to be Reviewed: Just to see what other people think about my guide
What I'd like you to focus on: Quality of content, is there enough explanation? are the pictures helpful.. and anything else you like
Guide Link: http://www.mobafire.com/league-of-legends/build/shaco-ahueahueahue-86236
Piksel4o
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Guide For: Me.
Why I'd like this to be Reviewed: I want to understand other people's oppinions on it, and possibly learn to play him better by doing that.
What I'd like you to focus on: Mainly Item choices and explanations
Guide Link: http://www.mobafire.com/league-of-legends/build/malzahar-come-mortal-witness-your-demise-91835
Thanks to Alexanpt and wRAthoFVuLK for the AWESOME sigs!
Bryun
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I updated my Jax guide, I am at a loss to what else I should add in my Gameplay section. I tried to add as much as possible. And for masteries, I just think I can't go more in-depth than that x.x

Wintermond
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Guide For: Me.
Why I'd like this to be Reviewed: It's my first Guide and I would like some professional feedback.
What I'd like you to focus on: Format, Explanations, Section choices and quality.
Guide Link: http://www.mobafire.com/league-of-legends/build/ezreal-ad-bar-hopping-and-pub-stomping-73170

El Psy Congroo.


|You can't spell slaughter without laughter.|

Searz
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I just felt a sudden urge to post a link to my Urgot guide.


Seriously though, I'm mostly interested in what parts I'm missing, parts that need to be covered.
I'm trying hard not to make it a wall of text though.
Edit: to clarify; this is primarily for my guide template. I want to know which categories that could be added.
I'm a strong independent black mage who don't need no mana.
orochinagi
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Guide For: Blitzcrank
Why I'd like this to be Reviewed: Just wanna improve the guide. Been considering adding images/videos but not quite sure on what i should focus in those videos.
What I'd like you to focus on: Constructive criticism of any kind... just wanna improve the guide as mentioned before
Guide Link: My Guide
7. Shouting Demacia, either irl or in /all, has been known to improve your game play.
wRAthoFVuLK
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Somebody's gonna be real busy.....................................

Thanks to TRUeLM, Plastictree, Scrax, Xiaowiriamu, foggy12, JahGFX, jhoijhoi, msrobinson, JEFFY40HANDS, Nyoike, MissMaw, and me :) for the sigs!
theBMB
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Guide For: AKali
Why I'd like this to be Reviewed: want more publicity and feedback before starting a new guide
What I'd like you to focus on: the indepth descpriptions and explanations
Guide Link: http://www.mobafire.com/league-of-legends/build/akali-the-comprehensive-guide-64716

although you technically already commented on it, I wouldn't mind some more publicity to it.
jhoijhoi
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haha, I just woke up, so let me have some breakfast, and I'll hop right to it. I do believe I'm up to a certain "How to Tank" guide ^^

Also, Brodonikam will joining me in this escapade (I believe), so look forward to two reviews from two very awesome people :D
jhoijhoi
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Rudmed's General Tanking Guide
Verdict: A nice introductory lesson to being a tank
Possible Improvements: Needs to work on grammar and what sort of tone the guide should convey (more authoritarian would be good), some images would be beneficial. More champion examples - Galio, Jarvan etc would be great.

Constructive Criticism:

1) You've chosen tanks that are more commonly seen in the jungle, and with the current US meta (jungle tank [a place where the tank can farm without stealing creeps from the carries], two casters, one dps, one support), it's unlikely that tanks will be laning anymore. Especially seeing as all the junglers are becoming solo mid/solo top (ie Warwick, Udyr).

2) I quickly scanned ahead, and I didn't see anything about jungling (I might be wrong), so you'll probably want to add a section about that.

3) Your grammar and grasp of the English language seems to be a bit off in some places. Just a tinge though. Like "I hope by the end of these guide" - I'm not sure if you meant "these guides" or "this guide". As I said, really really small grammatical mistakes.

4) No need to say "Do not +1 me!" :P Just credit the original owners, and that's it ^^

5) Galio can also shield, I believe.

6) About killstealing... there is the term "KillSecuring" for a reason :3

7) Like this, "Now while this thinking is techincally correct, but consider this." When you skim over it, it's fine. But read it out loud. Now while this thinking is technically correct [comma] but consider this. It should be, "...is technically correct, consider this:" As I said, small things. I'm a Grammar Nazi. I also believe you might be waffling a bit. Try and be more concise, more confident about what you're saying.

Instead of "I mean, if I have incredible resistences" say, "A tank with incredible resistences", and, "Well I would say" to "Definitely", and, "I mean health means" to "An increased health bar will".

At the momement your guide sounds like you're talking to a friend, but I think if you lean to the more professional way of conveying a message, with absolute clauses - this will command more attention.

This is your guide! You want people to think, "Yessir, I will not abandon fights, sir!" not, "So... I shouldn't abandon fights..."

8) It's a cute guide though :3

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