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jhoijhoi's review & discussion service

Creator: jhoijhoi June 29, 2011 5:44pm
jhoijhoi
<MOBAFire Mother>
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Permalink | Quote | PM | +Rep July 23, 2011 6:58pm | Report
Guiken's Leona Guide
Verdict: This is an extensive and very well-written Leona guide.
Possible Improvements: The author has the depth and knowledge down pat, they now just need to work on the aesthetics of the guide in terms of colour, coding, formatting and adding in images for visual relief. The author should also try to condense some of the information in the guide. The only other thing that has irked me about the author's guide is the lack of structure.

I recommend reading over my Guide about Writing a Guide and try to implement the coding and section structure I've provided there. ie: all the pre-game stuff should be at the beginning of the guide (pros/cons, summoners, skill explanation), all the in-game stuff should be towards the end of the guide (gameplay, items).

Constructive Criticism:

1) I'd suggest displaying only one build with the items you use 90% of the time. Then display alternative builds/items in the guide itself. If you only ever buy Doran's Shield + Boots + catalyst the protector + ageis of the legion, then just list these items in the build and list the other situational items in the guide.

2) Marks of Resilience are pretty bad. Think about Amr Pen or Magic Pen.

3) Good Hands > Perseverance

4) Center all videos

5) Generally the "Story" of the champion is not included in guides. Because your guide is long as it is, I would recommend taking it out :)

6) Your guide is very "wall-of-text"y and you need to reconsider whether you really need that much information. There's a fine line between in-depth and too long. Use your own judgement, but try cutting out things that everyone already knows, things that are too general.

Also, you really need some colour, images and coding to break up the text. Give the reader some places to rest their eyes. What I do, in my guide, is provide the reader with lots of colour, coding and images of Ashe that I have scaled down to fit in my guide without drawing too much attention away from the writing itself.

7) Err, coding:

[[zenith blade]] as opposed to [icon=zenith blade] generally works better.

8) Try centring your headings in equal signs.

9) Don't list useless summoner spells.
AngelPixe
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Ah!I will certainly read my guide again to fix the errors ^_^
jhoijhoi
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Tefached's Singed Guide
Verdict: An in-depth Singed guide that is very humorous and entertaining to read.
Possible Improvements: The author needs to work on making the guide more aesthetically pleasing. The guide is pretty good as it is, and is really fun to read, the only thing it is lacking is visual relief.

Constructive Criticism:

1) Your summoner spells are a tad weird. Ghost is fine, but I'm not sure why you'd bother with Cleanse. Not sure about the utility of Ignite either. Flash is probably a better idea.

2) Your runes are great in Team one, but not so much in Team two. I would definitely recommend removing Team Two, as a professional guide shouldn't have Mejai's in it. Ever. lol.

3) I like the humour in your guide, but I could not even understand this part: "No wai dud u gota bulid him liek tnak lol trollz".

4) I hate/love watching people fail with Cleanse. Corki gets Ashe stunner. Cleanses after the stun duration has ended. Waste of a Summoner Slot, imho. Flash will serve you much better.

5) In your Summoner Spells section, consider adding in extra paragraphical space, and/or adding in line separators for clarity.

6) Don't list useless summoner spells.

7) Your guide needs a lot of colour and formatting to make it more aesthetically pleasing. For example, in your Masteries section, you could use the "List" formatting and it will immediately make the section more uniform and easier to read.

8) Center your Rune Icons.

9) Try using a line separator between the different rune types. Also, you've missed Bolding some of the headings.

10) Need some colour in your Skills section. Also should add in some line separators. And lol. Freaking hate Mega Adhesive. INCREDIBLE slow, and it's just ****ing annoying :P haha.

11) Perhaps put the patch notes under the correlating item/skill instead of at the top of sections.

12) With your line separators, you should consider adding in paragraphical enters so that it looks neater.

13) You waffle on a bit in your items section. Read over it again and try and cut down/edit your work a bit to make it less bubble-headed.

14) Neither have I. Which is why you shouldn't include Hexdrinker in your guide.

15) Your Gameplay section looks really good and is exactly the level of coding I'd expect through the rest of your guide. You really want to make the rest of your guide look as professional as this section :)

17) You just noticed there was no 16)

18) "A word on Mejai's Soulstealer" - please remove this, or at least place it at the very end of your guide, like, the furthest away from the actual guide as you can. Never advocate Mejai's.

19) Er, you don't have a conclusion.
jhoijhoi
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AngelPixe - sorry my review was so short, everyone else stole my thunder :P Basically everything I was going to say about runes/masteries/items was said by Neo, Byrun and Rudmed, and I figured anything I added to that discussion would be redundant :)
AngelPixe
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Yeah xD.It's fine though.I knew I would have grammar error's :3.

Also,the others suggestions :3
Rudmed
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jhoijhoi wrote:

@Rudmed, D: I missed the Jungling section because it was a part of the Farming section (which is fine). I just thought it'd be more in-depth, as most tanks are always in the jungle.

Okay, but right now I am debating whether or not to go more into it. Decisions, Decisions. My main concern that the only tank I really jungle is Amumu. Plus my goal is not really to teach them how to jungle rather, instead give them the idea of how they should play tanks.

Edit: That and I don't see many tanks in the jungle, except the occasional amumu.
Aharan
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Guide for:
Why I'd like this to be Reviewed: I want to know what to improve on in future builds
What I'd like you to focus on: the structure, and if it's easy to read or not
Guide Link: http://www.mobafire.com/league-of-legends/build/corki-insert-creative-name-here-90103
AngelPixe
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I actually have a question.What do you mean by centering?I dont see a code that would allow me to center my large images >X<;;
wRAthoFVuLK
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[center][/center]

Thanks to TRUeLM, Plastictree, Scrax, Xiaowiriamu, foggy12, JahGFX, jhoijhoi, msrobinson, JEFFY40HANDS, Nyoike, MissMaw, and me :) for the sigs!
Scrax
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Just use [center][img]url here[/img][/center] and see if it does anything.

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