THIS IS A GUIDE TO Singed WHO IS THE MANLIEST CHAMPION IN THE LEAGUE OF LEGENDS WHO LOST HIS TESTICLES. (IF YOU THOUGHT IT WAS PANTHEON OR SOMETHING YOU WERE WRONG)

A KEY THING MOST GUIDE READERS DO NOT GET IS THAT SKILL AND ITEM BUILDS ARE FLUID. I WOULD ARGUE THAT THERE IS NO SKILL OR ITEM BUILD FOR ANY CHAMPION THAT IS CONCRETE WITH EVERY SITUATION.

NOTE: DO NOT PICK SINGED IF YOU KNOW (IF YOU CAN) THAT THE ENEMY TEAM HAS EITHER Teemo OR Kayle TOP. (THEY ARE DUMB AND YOU WILL HAVE A BAD TIME).

PROS VERY HARD TO KILL AND NEAR IMPOSSIBLE TO TAKE DOWN LATE-GAME DUE TO HUGE MOBILITY AND TANKINESS. HIGH AMOUNTS OF DAMAGE FROM MID-GAME ONWARD (ESPECIALLY TO THOSE WHO HAVE LEARNING DISABILITIES AND DECIDE TO CHASE YOU THROUGH YOUR Poison Trail. ONE OF THE MOST EFFECTIVE AND MANLIEST FARMERS EVER. ALSO QUITE EFFECTIVE AT PREVENTING ENEMIES FROM FARMING (UNLESS THEY'RE RANGED OR OP). VERY STRONG STEROID Insanity Potion THAT LASTS FOREVER AND IS OP. VERY EFFECTIVE AT TURNING GANKS AROUND, GETTING RID OF ENEMY CARRIES AND SETTING UP KILLS FOR TEAMMATES (OR HIMSELF BECAUSE MEN LIKE SINGED NEED KILLS) WITH Mega Adhesive AND Fling. CAN GAIN A BIT OF HEALTH THROUGH MANA ITEMS THANKS TO Empowered Bulwark. LOW SKILL CAP, MEANING EVEN THE NOOBIEST OF NOOBS CAN MASTER THIS MANLY CHAMPION PRETTY QUICKLY. OP LAUGH.

CONS ALTHOUGH HE IS VERY MANLY, HE IS ALSO VERY WEAK AND SUSCEPTIBLE TO GANKS AND CC PRE-LEVEL 6. VERY MANA HUNGRY EARLY ON. VERY ITEM DEPENDANT, MEANING IF YOU HAVE A **** EARLY GAME WITH NO KILLS AND LITTLE FARM, EVEN FOR A MAN LIKE SINGED, YOU'RE GOING TO HAVE A BAD TIME RECOVERING. NOT ALL TEAM COMPS WORK WITH OR CAN HANDLE HIS MANLINESS. ONE OF THE EASIEST CHAMPIONS TO "COUNTER" IN THE GAME. A REAL MAN DOES NOT GET COUNTERED, HOWEVER. UNLESS YOU ARE A YORDLE WITH A BLOWGUN OR AN ANGEL THING WITH A FIERY SWORD.

I USE 3X Greater Quintessence of Spell Vamp AND Vampirism TO MAXIMIZE THE SIZES OF THE GREEN NUMBERS THAT FLOAT ABOVE ME. USED WITH Will of the Ancients AND Spirit Visage YOUR SPELL VAMP WILL BE HUGE AND PEOPLE WILL QQ OVER HOW YOU DON'T DIE WHILE STILL DISHING OUT HUGE, MANLY AMOUNTS OF DAMAGE. YOU MAY DECIDE TO USE Greater Quintessence of Movement Speed INSTEAD, BECAUSE YES, THEY ARE BETTER AND I USE THEM IN ALMOST EVERY SITUATION EXCEPT THIS ONE BECAUSE I LIKE BIG GREEN NUMBERS. AS FOR MY OTHER RUNE AND MASTERY CHOICES...

9X Greater Seal of Armor IS GOOD BECAUSE 90% OF THE TIME YOU WILL COME ACROSS EITHER AN AD TOP, JUNGLE OR BOTH. YOU WILL ALSO ALWAYS COME ACROSS MINIONS. 9X Greater Glyph of Scaling Magic Resist IS GOOD BECAUSE UNLESS THE ENEMY TEAM MEMBERS COLLECTIVELY HAVE A LEARNING DISABILITY AND ARE ALL AD YOU WILL COME ACROSS SOME AP CHAMPIONS. EVEN AGAINST AP TOP CHAMPIONS, GENERALLY THEY DON'T DO MUCH DAMAGE EARLY ON SO I FIND SCALING MR TO BE BETTER THAN FLAT MR. YOU MAY WANT TO USE Greater Glyph of Ability Power OR Greater Glyph of Scaling Ability Power BECAUSE WE ARE MEN AND NEED NO RESISTANCES, BUT THAT IS UP TO YOU. 9X Greater Mark of Magic Penetration DUH. USE ANYTHING ELSE AND I'LL EAT YOUR EYEBROWS.

I JUST GET AS MUCH HEALTH AND HEALTH REGEN AS I CAN FROM THE DEFENSE TREE, SO I CAN GET THE REALLY BIG GREEN NUMBERS, AND STICK A POINT IN Summoner's Wrath FOR UBER L33T SPEED HACK WITH Ghost AND SOME BARELY NOTICEABLE AP AND AD WHEN Ignite IS ON CD. Mastermind AND Tenacious ARE OP TOO. EVERYTHING ELSE IS JUST KINDA THERE.

1. Poison Trail / Fling 2. Poison Trail / Fling 3. Poison Trail 4. Fling 5. Poison Trail 6. Insanity Potion DUH.

7. Poison Trail 8. Mega Adhesive / Fling 9. Poison Trail 10. Mega Adhesive / Fling 11. Insanity Potion DUH. 12. Mega Adhesive / Fling

13. Mega Adhesive / Fling 14. Mega Adhesive / Fling 15. Mega Adhesive / Fling 16. Insanity Potion DUH. 17. Mega Adhesive / Fling 18. Mega Adhesive / Fling

POISON TRAIL (Q)

Poison Trail IS CONSIDERED SINGED'S SIGNATURE ABILITY. IT IS AN AOE DOT SPELL THAT CAN POTENTIALLY AFFECT ALL 5 ENEMY CHAMPIONS, AS WELL AS BEING ONE OF THE STRONGEST FARMING TOOLS IN THE GAME KILLING ENTIRE MINION WAVES IN ONE PASS LATER ON.

IT IS HIS HIGHEST DAMAGE DEALING ABILITY, AND EVERYONE LIKES DAMAGE, SO WE MAX THIS SPELL FIRST. YOU MAY DECIDE YOU WANT TO GET A POINT IN Fling AT LEVEL ONE BECAUSE THE ENEMY TEAM IS DOING SOME SUICIDE BOMB RUN INTO YOUR SIDE'S JUNGLE AND YOU WANT SOME CC. AFTER THAT YOU GET POINTS IN Poison Trail WHENEVER YOU CAN.

TIPS:

• DON'T USE THIS TO FARM EARLY GAME. LAST HIT. POISONING THE ENEMY MINIONS IS LIKE A MAN USING AN OVER-SIZED CONDOM. NOT ONLY WILL IT NOT DO ITS JOB BECAUSE OF ITS LOW EARLY DAMAGE, BUT IT WILL MAKE YOUR PERFORMANCE WORSE BY PUSHING THE LANE REALLY HARD. IT IS DANGEROUS FOR YOU WHEN YOUR MINIONS (STD'S) ARE TOO CLOSE TO THE ENEMY TOWER (VAGINA) BECAUSE YOU ARE ONE SQUISHY BASTARD AND ARE VULNERABLE TO GANKS EARLY. ONCE YOU HIT MID-GAME, GO AHEAD AND PUSH ALL YOU WANT WITH YOUR POISON TRAIL, FARM BEHIND THE ENEMY TOWER IF YOU LIKE, BUT FOR THE LOVE OF GOD BUY SOME DAMN WARDS.
  
• WHEN DECIDING WHEN TO USE POISON TRAIL EARLY, OR AT ANY STAGE OF THE GAME, ASK YOURSELF THESE QUESTIONS:
  AM I BEING CHASED? YES: ACTIVATE POISON TRAIL. NO: DON'T ACTIVATE POISON TRAIL.
  AM I CHASING SOMEONE? YES: ACTIVATE POISON TRAIL. NO: DON'T ACTIVATE POISON TRAIL.
  AM I IN A TEAM FIGHT / SMALL SKIRMISH? YES: ACTIVATE POISON TRAIL. NO: DON'T ACTIVATE POISON TRAIL.
  
• PRESSING Q TWICE IN QUICK SUCCESSION ALLOWS A SMALL CLOUD OF GAS TO JUST POOF OUT, SAVING YOU A LOT OF MANA BECAUSE WALKING INTO THE TRAIL CAUSES THE POISON TO TICK 3 TIMES, SO YOU DON'T HAVE TO LEAVE POISON TRAIL ACTIVATED. I JUST LEAVE IT ACTIVATED IN FIGHTS ANYWAY BECAUSE I DON'T CARE, BUT JUST SOMETHING TO KEEP IN MIND IF SOMEHOW YOU ARE LOW ON MANA.
  
• REMEMBER, PART OF BEING MANLY IS BEING MANA EFFICIENT AND LEAVING POISON TRAIL ACTIVATED FOR NO REASON IS NOT MANA EFFICIENT.

MEGA ADHESIVE (W)

Mega Adhesive IS AN AOE SLOW IN A TARGETED AREA CAPABLE OF SLOWING ENTIRE TEAMS. A GREAT SPELL THAT CAN BE USED OFFENSIVELY OR DEFENSIVELY TO CLOSE GAPS, MAKE GAPS BIGGER OR EVEN ZONE PEOPLE.

THIS SPELL COSTS TOO MUCH MANA EARLY ON, SO WE GET THIS AT LEVEL 8 (OR NOT AT ALL BECAUSE MANLY PEOPLE NEED NO SLOWS TO WIN). I HAVE SEEN SOME PLAYERS GET Mega Adhesive OVER Fling BECAUSE OF THE UTILITY THE SLOW PROVIDES. NOT BAD. BASICALLY, IF YOU WANT TO BE GOOD FOR THE TEAM, GRAB A POINT IN Fling EARLY AND THEN MAX THE **** OUT OF Mega Adhesive AFTER Poison Trail. IF YOU WANT THE DAMAGES, DO THE OPPOSITE.

TIPS:

• TRY TO PLACE THE PUDDLE OF **** IN FRONT OF YOUR TARGET, NOT ON THEM, TO MAXIMIZE THE AMOUNT OF TIME THAT THEY ARE SLOWED FOR. INSTEAD OF BEING SLOWED FOR LIKE 1 SECOND BECAUSE YOU WERE DUMB, THEY CAN BE SLOWED FOR... SOME MORE SECONDS. UNLESS THEY FLASH OR USE BUILT-IN ESCAPES (BASTARDS) BUT AT LEAST THAT STILL ACHIEVES SOMETHING. IF THE TARGET IS TOO FAR AWAY TO PLACE IT IN FRONT OF THEM, SAVE IT, BECAUSE YOUR SUPERIOR MOVEMENT SPEED SHOULD CLOSE THE GAP ALLOWING YOU TO SLOW THE BASTARD.
  
• AS WELL AS PLACING IT IN FRONT OF YOUR TARGET, TRY TO PLACE IT IN CHOKE-POINTS OR SOMETHING. FOR EXAMPLE, IF YOU ARE TOWER DIVING SOMEONE AND THEY START TO RUN THROUGH THE GAP BETWEEN THE TOWER AND THE WALL, PLACE YOUR PUDDLE ON THE OTHER SIDE OF THAT OPENING. THEY HAVE NO CHOICE BUT TO KEEP RUNNING THROUGH ONLY TO GET SLOWED FOR YEARS ALLOWING YOU TO Fling THEM, OR BE SUPREMELY DUMB AND TURN AROUND, ALLOWING YOU TO Fling THEM. IF I HAD A PICTURE I WOULD SHOW YOU, BUT I THINK YOU GET THE IDEA. MAYBE.
  
• WHEN RUNNING AWAY, PLACE THE PUDDLE OF **** IN FRONT OF YOU OR BETWEEN YOU AND YOUR PURSUER(S) SO THAT THEY RUN INTO IT. LIKE BEFORE, THIS MAXIMIZES THE SLOW UP-TIME.

FLING (E)

Fling IS SINGED'S SECOND MOST ICONIC ABILITY. IT CAN BE USED TO PLACE ENEMIES IN POSITIONS FOR YOUR TEAM (OR JUST YOUR MANLY SELF) FOR EASY KILLS, CAN DISPLACE ENEMY CARRIES AND CAN EVEN BE USED DEFENSIVELY TO JUKE PEOPLE, ESPECIALLY WHEN MOVING BETWEEN BUSHES. BEST USED IN COMBINATION WITH YOUR Poison Trail AND Mega Adhesive. THEM *****ES AIN'T GOING NOWHERE.

BASICALLY, LIKE MENTIONED BEFORE, IF YOU WANT TO BE GOOD FOR THE TEAM, GRAB A POINT IN Fling EARLY AND THEN MAX THE **** OUT OF Mega Adhesive AFTER Poison Trail. IF YOU WANT THE DAMAGES, DO THE OPPOSITE.

TIPS:

• USE FLING TO PLACE PEOPLE RIGHT WHERE YOU WANT THEM. IF A Teemo IS ON HALF HP AND YOUR ENTIRE TEAM IS CLOSING IN ON HIM, DO NOT FLING HIM INTO SAFETY, TAKE THE TIME TO SLOW HIM IF YOU CAN AND RUN BEHIND HIM TO GENTLY TOSS HIM INTO CERTAIN DEATH. ALSO APPLIES IF YOUR JUNGLER IS GANKING YOUR LANE.
  
• DON'T YOU ****ING DARE FLINGING PEOPLE LIKE Amumu OR Alistar INTO YOUR TEAM. YOU ARE DOING THE ENEMY A FAVOR BY BASICALLY TOSSING A GRENADE INTO YOUR ALLIES. THERE ARE OTHER CHAMPIONS THAT I WOULD NOT ADVISE YOU FLING INTO YOUR TEAM, BUT BASICALLY YOU NEED TO USE EITHER YOUR HEAD OR YOUR BALLS WHEN DECIDING WHO TO FLING.
  
• ASK YOURSELF THESE QUSTIONS WHEN DECIDING WHO TO FLING IN A FIGHT:
  IS IT A TANK OR DOES IT HAVE LOTS OF CC OR AN ULT LIKE BLOODY Tryndamere? YES: DON'T FLING. NO: FLING.
  IS MY TEAM ABLE TO BACK ME UP IF I FLING? (ENOUGH PEOPLE, HAVE ENOUGH HEALTH / MANA, AREN'T INCREDIBLY STUPID) YES: FLING. NO: DON'T FLING.
  IS IT AN OUT OF PLACE Teemo / EQUALLY SQUISHY PERSON? YES: FLING. NO: DON'T FLING.
  
• BASICALLY, DON'T FLING TANKS AND AIM FOR PEOPLE WHO DO STUFF IN FIGHTS. REMEMBER, BEING MANLY ALSO MEANS BEING AWARE OF YOUR SITUATION. DON'T KILL YOUR TEAM BY DOING A DUMB FLING, BECAUSE THEN YOU GIVE THEM A REASON TO BLAME YOU WHEN YOUR TEAM LOSES.

INSANITY POTION (R, ULTIMATE, OP)

Insanity Potion IS, IN MY OPINION THAT COUNTS FOR EVERYTHING, THE BEST ULTIMATE IN THE GAME. IT GRANTS SINGED A WHOLE BUNCH OF STATS INCLUDING ABILITY POWER AND HEALTH REGEN, AS WELL AS SOME OTHER COOL STATS THAT I WON'T MENTION BECAUSE I LIKE BIG GREEN NUMBERS AND THESE TWO STATS GIVE BIG GREEN NUMBERS. IN THE SPACE TYPING THAT TOOK I COULD HAVE ALSO LISTED THE STATS. BUT THESE STATS LAST FOREVER (25 seconds). IT IS WHAT MAKES HIM OP IN FIGHTS.

WE MAX THIS SPELL LAST BECAUSE IT IS OUR ULTIMATE AND WE DON'T CARE ABOUT OUR ULTIMATE. WRONG. ARE YOU STUPID? OF COURSE WE MAX THIS ABOVE ALL, JUST AS WE WOULD ALMOST ANY CHAMPION.

TIPS:

• USE THIS ONLY WHEN YOU ARE FIGHTING AN ENEMY. I DON'T CARE IF YOU WANT TO REGEN SOME SMALL AMOUNT OF MANA BECAUSE YOU WEREN'T SMART WITH YOUR MANA USAGE, I DON'T CARE IF YOU ARE LOW ON HEALTH EITHER, SAVING THIS FOR A FIGHT COULD VERY WELL SAVE YOUR LIFE. IF YOU ARE LOW ON HEALTH OR MANA GO BACK AND BUY SOME POTIONS OR DON'T BE DUMB NEXT TIME.
  
• THIS SPELL GREATLY REDUCES THE DURATION OF CC ON YOU SO YOU CAN RUN RIGHT INTO GROUPS WITH NON MANLY PEOPLE LIKE Taric OR Sion FOR EXAMPLE WITH THIS ACTIVATED AND DO DAMAGE TO PEOPLE.
  
• REMEMBER, THIS SPELL IS WHAT MAKES SINGED OP AND EVEN MORE MANLY IN FIGHTS, SO IF YOUR TEAM IS LIKE "OMG N00B WHY DON'T YOU GO IN", YOU TELL THEM SO SIT DOWN, STFU AND WAIT FOR YOUR ULTIMATE TO BE UP. YOU NEED IT FOR FIGHTS. BESIDES, YOU AREN'T A REAL INITIATOR ANYWAY. UNLESS IT'S JUST ONE SQUISHY OR OUT OF PLACE GUY. THAT'S OK THEN.

WE SHALL PURCHASE THESE BOOTS AS WELL AS A FEW POTIONS FIRST TO ADD TO OUR STYLE AND MANLINESS. THE ENEMY WILL GET DISTRACTED AND ASK YOU WHERE YOU GOT THOSE CUTE BOOTS, THEN YOU KILL THEM. WE UPGRADE THESE INTO Boots of Swiftness OR Mercury's Treads IF YOU'RE GETTING SHAT ON BY CC. WE THEN ALSO LATER UPGRADE THESE TO TIER 3 WITH EITHER Enchantment: Alacrity OR Enchantment: Homeguard.

ASK YOURSELF THIS WHEN PLAYING SINGED: AM I PLAYING SINGED? YES: BUY A ROD OF AGES. NO: BUY ONE ANYWAY. WE REPLACE THIS AFTER WE FINISH OUR LAST ITEM BECAUSE ALTHOUGH IT IS THAT ITEM THAT MAKES US MANLY EARLY TO MID GAME, THERE ARE MUCH BETTER OPTIONS LATER ON THAT MAKE US MANLIER.

WE ONLY GET THE Hextech Revolver PART OF THIS ITEM. ONLY THAT. OUR RUNES AND MASTERIES PROVIDE ENOUGH SPELL VAMP THAT WE DON'T NEED TO ACTUALLY FINISH THE ITEM AND STILL REMAIN MANLY AND HAVE BIG GREEN NUMBERS. WE FINISH THIS ITEM LAST.

NOW, THIS ITEM IS ONE OF THE BIGGEST BIG GREEN NUMBER PROVIDERS. GIVES YOU A MASIIVE, MANLY AMOUNT OF HEALTH AND SINCE THE REMOVAL OF Force of Nature, AND AFTER I HAD CALMED DOWN AND REPLACED MY BROKEN KEYBOARD AND DESK, I HAD REALIZED THIS ITEM NOW PROVIDES THAT PASSIVE HEALTH REGEN. IT DOESN'T PROVIDE MOVEMENT SPEED WHICH IS ****, BUT IF YOU HAVE A LOT OF HEALTH, THIS ITEM WILL JUST GIVE YOU THE BIGGEST GREEN NUMBERS ON TOP OF YOUR SPELL VAMP.

THIS IS NOT ONE OF THE BIGGEST GREEN NUMBER PROVIDERS. IT IS THE BIGGEST. YOUR SPELL VAMP AND HEALTH REGEN WILL BE SO HUGE AND SO MANLY. WITH YOUR ULTIMATE ACTIVATED AS WELL, YOUR GREEN NUMBES WILL NOT FIT ON THE SCREEN. WELL, THEY WILL, BUT YOU WILL NOT DIE. WELL, YOU MIGHT, BUT YOU WILL DIE A SLOW, MANLY DEATH. ALSO SOME NICE MAGIC RESISTANCE SO THE BASTARDS LIKE Kog'Maw OR OTHER PEOPLE WITH PERCENTAGE-BASED DAMAGE ARE LESS EFFECTIVE, BECAUSE YOU WILL HAVE A LOT OF BLOODY HEALTH.

THE ONLY ITEM BESIDES Sunfire Aegis THAT PROVIDES BOTH ARMOR AND HEALTH. BASICALLY, WE ONLY GET THIS BECAUSE WE HAVE NEXT TO NO RESISTANCES WITH OUR CURRENT BUILD AND WE NEED TO RETAIN OUR MANLINESS. IT PROVIDES A NICE SLOW TO PEOPLE THAT HIT YOU FOR SOME REASON AND ALSO CAN BE ACTIVATED TO SLOW THEM EVEN MORE. PERFORM A MAN CHARGE AND CRIPPLE THE ENTIRE ENEMY TEAM WITH THIS IN FIGHTS.

IF I DON'T GET THIS ITEM IN MY MAIN BUILD, I MAY REPLACE MY Rod of Ages WITH THIS ITEM. YOU LOSE A BIT OF HEALTH BUT MAKE UP FOR IT WITH AN EXTRA SLOW. YOU COULD SAY THAT RUNNING AWAY FROM PEOPLE WHILE HAVING THIS ITEM EQUIPPED AND POISON TRAIL ACTIVATED, YOU GAIN ABOUT 15% MOVEMENT SPEED (BECAUSE OF THE STUPID AOE ****). A PRETTY MANLY ITEM. I MAY ALSO GET THIS INSTEAD OF Randuin's Omen IF I AM HAVING NO TROUBLE WITH AD CHAMPS OR AM DOING REALLY REALLY WELL. YOU STILL GAIN A SLOW AND LOSE NO HEALTH WHILE GAINING ABILITY POWER IN TAKING THIS ITEM OVER RANDUIN'S.

A NICE ITEM FOR SOME EXTRA DAMAGE WITH THE MAGIC PEN AND ALL, THOUGH I ONLY TAKE THIS WHEN THE ENEMY HAS 3 OR MORE MAGIC DAMAGE DEALERS. I'D REPLACE Rod of Ages WITH THIS DEPENDING ON THEIR TEAM.

YOU'D HAVE TO BE PRETTY MANLY TO TAKE THIS ITEM. YOU'D ALSO HAVE TO BE BALLING PRETTY HARD. IF I TAKE THIS ITEM AT ALL, I'D NEED AT LEAST 2 MORE AP ITEMS AND MAYBE EVEN A BLOODY Mejai's Soulstealer TO GET THE MOST OUT OF IT.

HOLY ****, YOU'RE BALLING OUT OF CONTROL. OR JUST REALLY REALLY DUMB.

THIS ITEM COULD POSSIBLY BE EITHER A REPLACEMENT FOR YOUR Rod of Ages OR Randuin's Omen OR AN ALTERNATIVE TO Rylai's Crystal Scepter OR Abyssal Mask. I DUNNO, I'VE USED IT BEFORE AND IT IS PRETTY DAMN MANLY. I GUESS I'D TAKE THIS IF I DIDN'T WANT RYlAI'S BECAUSE THE ENEMY TEAM HAD 3 OR MORE STRONGISH AD CHAMPS, BECAUSE IT STILL GRANTS A SLOW, SOME HEALTH (BECAUSE OF THE MANA AND OUR MANLY PASSIVE, ALTHOUGH NOT AS MUCH AS OTHER CHOICES), SOME IMPORTANT COOLDOWN REDUCTION AND SOME ARMOR. YOU MAY EVEN DECIDE THAT YOU DON'T EVEN WANT THIS ITEM AND MAY WANT A Frozen Heart INSTEAD.

I'M NOT SURE IF THE PASSIVE FROM THIS ITEM PROCS SPELL VAMP, BUT HOLY **** THIS IS A MANLY ITEM IF IT DOES. YOU WILL FIND YOUR DPS WILL GREATLY IMPROVE WITH THIS ITEM, AS IT DOES PERCENTAGE-BASED DAMAGE TO PEOPLE. YOUR DPS, HOWEVER, WILL LOWER AS THEIR HEALTH GETS LOWER, OBVIOUSLY. ALSO SOME NICE ABILITY POWER AND A TINY AMOUNT OF HEALTH THAT WE MAY OR MAY NOT WANT. BUT WHATEVER

IF MY BUILD WASN'T AIMING FOR MAXIMUM BIG GREEN MANLY NUMBERS, I WOULD DEFINITELY USE THIS ITEM. BUT I'M NOT GOING TO... UNLESS I'M AGAINST A HUGE AUTO-ATTACKER OR THEIR AD CARRY IS ****ING FED TO BALLS. IT GRANTS A BAJILLION MANA, ARMOR AND CDR AS WELL AS REDUCING ENEMY ATTACK SPEED.

SAME AS Frozen Heart, I WOULD ONLY GET THIS ITEM IF I WERE AGAINST A HUGE AUTO-ATTACKER. THOUGH THIS ITEM IS JUST A BIG HUNK OF ARMOR WITH A PRETTY ALRIGHT PASSIVE. IF YOU ARE THE ONE INITIATING AND **** I WOULD TAKE THIS ITEM OVER FROZEN HEART, BECAUSE THEN THE ENEMIES WOULD BE HITTING YOU, MAKING THIS ITEM MORE EFFECTIVE. ALSO, THANKS TO THE LIFE STEAL NERF AND YOUR MAGIC PEN, THE PASSIVE DOES A BAJILLION DAMAGE THAT THE ENEMY CAN'T JUST HEAL THROUGH.

THE ONLY TIME I WOULD TAKE THIS ITEM IS IF YOUR TEAM IS GETTING POOPED ON AND YOU GUYS DON'T HAVE ONE AT ALL FOR SOME REASON. BUT A MAN'S GOTTA DO WHAT A MAN'S GOTTA DO.

THIS ITEM IS ROD OF AGES MINUS THE ABILITY POWER AND PLUS SOME MAGIC RESISTANCE AND A SPELL BLOCK. A REAL MAN WOULD JUST TAKE THE ROD OF AGES, BUT IF YOU REALLY, REALLY, REALLY ARE HAVING TROUBLE WITH SOME KIND OF AP GUY, THEN BUILD YOUR Catalyst of Aeons INTO THIS INSTEAD. I WOULD NOT ADVISE THIS AS IT IS NOT VERY MANLY.

THIS ITEM CAN BE USED FOR BOTH WHEN YOU'RE GETTING ABSOLUTELY UNIMAGINABLY POOPED ON, OR, WHEN YOU'RE DOING SO WELL AND YOU WANNA GO BALLS TO THE WALL WITHOUT ANY REGARDS FOR THE LIFE OF OTHERS. BIT OF ARMOR AND MAGIC RESISTANCE, BUT THE REAL MANLINESS LIES IN THE PASSIVE. IT IS NOW 30% OF YOUR HEALTH, MEANING IF YOU HAVE A BAJILLION HEALTH AND FOR SOME REASON YOU MANAGE TO DIE, YOU COME BACK WITH SO MUCH MORE THAN THE OLD 350-400 HEALTH OR WHATEVER IT WAS.

OTHER ITEMS NOT MENTIONED HERE OR IN THE PREVIOUS CHAPTER I DON'T GET. EVER. UNLESS I'M TROLLING, THEN I'LL GET 6X Archangel's Staff

DO NOT "HARASS" WITH YOUR Fling. REAL MEN DO NOT HARASS. JUST Poison Trail FRIENDLY MINIONS WITH A LITTLE FART HERE AND THERE AND THE ENEMY WILL TAKE SOME DAMAGE WHEN LAST-HITTING IF THEY ARE MELEE. ONLY Fling WHEN YOU KNOW EITHER YOUR TOWER, YOUR JUNGLER OR A LOT OF FRIENDLY MINIONS WILL GET IN SOME DAMAGE FOR A POTENTIAL KILL. WHACK THE ENEMY IN THE FACE WITH AN AUTO-ATTACK AND FART ON THEM IF THEY GET TOO CLOSE FOR COMFORT. YOUR HUGE, MANLY ATTACK DAMAGE AND SMELLY FARTS WILL SEND THEM RUNNING.

LAST HIT AS MUCH AS YOU POSSIBLY CAN. YOU WANT TO AIM FOR AT LEAST 5 OUT OF 6 MINIONS EVERY WAVE. ALSO, EVERY TIME YOU MISS A CANNON MINION KILL A DOLPHIN DIES. DO NOT POISON THE MINIONS UNTIL YOU FEEL THAT YOU CAN JUST IGNORE GANKS FROM ENEMY JUNGLERS. THIS USUALLY HAPPENS ONCE YOU HAVE A ROD OF AGES IN THE EARLY MID-GAME PART. IF MORE THAN 2 OR 3 ENEMIES ARE NOWHERE TO BE SEEN, GTFO OF THERE. ALSO, BUY SOME WARDS AND SAVE A LIFE.

IT IS ALSO CUSTOMARY TO SPAM LAUGH AT YOUR ENEMY. BIND IT ON YOUR KEYBOARD SOMEWHERE EASY TO REACH FOR MAXIMUM MANLINESS.

WHAT DO I DO IN A TEAM FIGHT, YOU MIGHT ASK?

1. LOCATE THE CLOSEST ENEMY THAT DOES SOMETHING IN A FIGHT.
2. ACTIVATE Insanity Potion AND Poison Trail
3. LAY DOWN SOME Mega Adhesive AND Fling HIM
4. WHACK HIM, USE ACTIVE ITEMS AND /LAUGH AT HIM
5. IF HE IS DEAD, GO TO STEP 6. ELSE, REPEAT STEPS 3 AND 4.
6. RETURN TO STEP 1. IF NO ONE ELSE IS ALIVE, GO TO STEP 7.
7. DEACTIVATE Poison Trail

BLAME YOUR TEAM.