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jhoijhoi's review & discussion service

Creator: jhoijhoi June 29, 2011 5:44pm
jhoijhoi
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Permalink | Quote | PM | +Rep August 28, 2011 5:05am | Report
I'm busy with university, but I thought I'd update this to show I haven't forgot about anyone (though if I missed your request, just request again!).


!!! University > Reviewing !!!



>>> I will review 3 Guides Per Day <<<




ATTENTION: Due to a huge influx of requests, I have now implemented some requirements. This is so I don't end up reviewing a guide who's author doesn't care, or reviewing a guide that is really bad, or reviewing a guide that has not clicked on the link above. If you want me to spend over half an hour reading your guide and writing a reply, you can very well return the favour!

REQUIREMENTS:
- Author must have +100 Posts
- Guide must have been run through a spell and grammar check
- Author must be over Summoner Level 25
- Author must comment on my Ashe guide with their opinion.


If you are LUCKY, your guide will be reviewed by other members, such as: Searz, da_Neo, Rudmed, Bloofyre, Bryun, and Nighthawk. They drop in from time to time to help with my workload. <3

* I will be completely honest in my opinion
* I will not downvote or upvote until I have received a response from my review, and I see you have dropped your opinion of my Ashe guide in the comment section
* I will review your request as soon as physically and mentally possible

* At the completion of my Review, I will post my verdict of your guide here, along with my review (verdicts are featured in the below post)

You must use this format below for submitting a guide for review, otherwise I'll ignore your request. People who just drop their links here will be completely ignored.

Summoner Level:
Post Count (at time of request):
Spell & Grammar check completed: YES/NO
Guide For (champion):
Why I'd like this to be Reviewed:
What I'd like you to focus on:
Guide Link:

What do I expect in return? Read/vote on my >> Complete & Comprehensive Compiled Catalogue of Ashe Knowledge <<, +rep me, and a simple thank you would be lovely ^^

OTHER RULES/NOTES:
- Please only submit one guide per request.
- Please do not request a review on a champion who has not been released. I would also prefer to read only guides published on MobaFire.
- If you are rude to me in your response to my review, I will consider not featuring you in the below post.
- If I read your guide. And you have not read the links I have supplied in this post. I will literally asplode. And you will be charged with my death.


Common Things I Repeat In Most Of My Reviews


  • ONE BUILD. Show me one build, the one you use 90% of the time, in your cheat sheet. NO NEED, EVER, to display more than one cheat sheet. All alternative items can be explained in your Situational/Alternative Items section.
  • Good Hands IS ****ING BETTER THAN PERSEVERANCE. Jesus Christ.
  • Colour is good. Too much colour is bad. Find the correct balance.
  • Paragraphical space. Walls of text = bad. Sparse text = bad. Find the correct balance.




Reviewable Guides
Blakhart wrote:

Summoner Level: 30
Post Count (at time of request): 100
Spell & Grammar check completed: YES
Guide For (champion): Vayne
Why I'd like this to be Reviewed: My Vayne guide was at #2 for a little while, and it was also the first Vayne guide out on Mobafire. So after revamping it, I wanted it to get reviewed by someone who really knows their stuff, and may be able to assist me with it.
What I'd like you to focus on: Everything plz :D
Guide Link: http://www.mobafire.com/league-of-legends/build/vayne-through-the-shadows-revamped-81123

Kirluu wrote:

Summoner Level: 30
Post Count (at time of request): 332
Spell & Grammar check completed: Yes
Guide For (champion): Alistar (AP)
Why I'd like this to be Reviewed: I'd like to know of whichever way I could possibly improve my guide.
What I'd like you to focus on: The setup mostly, but perhaps just as much the guiding itself.
Link: http://www.mobafire.com/league-of-legends/build/alistar-the-ability-powered-cow-96441
Kirluu~

VKZ95 wrote:

Summoner Level: 30
Post Count: 101
Spell & Grammar check completed: Yes
Guide For (champion): Mordekaiser
Why I'd like this to be Reviewed: I want to improve my guide
What I'd like you to focus on: Anything I can add or change to make my guide better
Guide Link: Mordekaiser

This guide has been reviewed by you before but I have changed it a lot since the last time you saw it

Siveo wrote:

Summoner Level: 30
Post Count (at time of request): 115 with this one
Spell & Grammar check completed: I did it but English is not my foreign language so ...
Guide For (champion): Shen
Why I'd like this to be Reviewed: First guide I've made, looking for some comments on how I play with him!
What I'd like you to focus on: Uhm, everything?
My Shen Build

theBMB wrote:

Summoner Level:30
Post Count (at time of request):like 700 I think
Spell & Grammar check completed: YES
Guide For: items
Why I'd like this to be Reviewed:Need feedback and exposure
What I'd like you to focus on:Formatting
Guide Link: http://www.mobafire.com/league-of-legends/build/in-depth-item-guide-97205


Summoner lvl: 30
Post count: 251
Spelling and grammar: I believe so O.o
Guide for: lee sin
Why? I'm pretty new(kind of), so I still want more advice and maybe things i can improve on(I know there's lots)
What to focus on: anything you see fit. Perhaps I should go more in depth....hmm
Link: http://www.mobafire.com/league-of-legends/build/listen-to-their-heartbeat-a-jungle-lee-sin-build-116481

Keels wrote:

Summoner level: 30
Post count: 555
Spell/ Grammar Check complete? Always. Yes.
Guide for: Singed
Why I'd like this to be reviewed: Jhoi , your making a guide guide was a huge influence. I listened last time to your criticisms of my Renekton build, and I think it paid off. Plus duff's kinda been trawling my builds a bit, and I'd like a second opinion. No offense to him, I've been listening, but a second opinion would be nice.
What I'd like you to focus on: Do I need some more humor? I worked pretty hard to make it look nice, and I'd like to see what you think of it. Is the strategy described sound? Anything you can think of. Unless this is a bad time. I looked to blow people away on this guide.
Guide link: http://www.mobafire.com/league-of-legends/build/singed-his-chemical-romance-ap-hp-99768

Quoted:

Summoner Level: 30
Post Count (at time of request): a bit over 100 last time I check'd.
Spell & Grammar check completed: YES, but I am 14yrs old, studied English for around 8yrs. I'm not perfect.
Guide For (champion): Kennen
Why I'd like this to be Reviewed: I want to improve it :)
What I'd like you to focus on: I don't know, about everything.
Guide Link: http://www.mobafire.com/league-of-legends/build/kennen-the-off-tank-ninja-102793
guide writing tips 'n tricksashes to ashesfancy a sig?

♡ sig by thenamelessbard ♡
SirSpankAlot
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Permalink | Quote | PM | +Rep August 28, 2011 6:39am | Report
Here is my re-submit , I did everything i could to fix my grammar mistakes and spelling mistakes.

Summoner Level: 29
Post Count (at time of request): 243
Spell & Grammar check completed: YES, I fixed almost everything i think(read my own guide 10 times or so xD).
Guide For (champion): skarner,the crystal vanguard
Why I'd like this to be Reviewed: I would like to improve overal
What I'd like you to focus on: Well i would like you to focus on the build expenses and how the build is written. Is it boring/fun/easy etc.
Guide Link: http://www.mobafire.com/league-of-legends/build/sirspankalots-way-of-spanking-with-skarner-jungle-112315

Btw thanks for your previous vote , im like no.4 of top skarner guides now:D.
Thanks to Plickz and Alexanpt for the awesome Sigs!

Check out my guide on Skarner, The Crystal Vanguard(press the sig)!
DeadlyTricks
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Permalink | Quote | PM | +Rep August 28, 2011 9:37am | Report
Thanks for the review jhoi :3
(courtesy of my homie DarcMatteh)

I like it when they scream...;)
Siveo
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Permalink | Quote | PM | +Rep August 28, 2011 11:20am | Report
Kirluu wrote:

Why isn't my request on the review list ? o.o I believe it's at page 81.. :S


Mine is at page 80 ... And I've requested already before that but that request went a little lost :D

Well yea, I can wait! I'm a very patient man/boy (@jhoijhoi: I'm also 19, you decide ;) )
Palthios
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Permalink | Quote | PM | +Rep August 29, 2011 9:40pm | Report
Thanks for the review. Heres what I did and didnt change.

Constructive Criticism:

1) While it's true many people buy multiple Doran's, I would not suggest actually displaying that in your guide. Keep it short and neat. Mention getting extra Doran's in the text itself, but not visually in the Purchase Order.

Many people, myself included, will just look at a build and not read the guide itself, so this isn't a change I would like to make.

2) Woooooah. Courage should be gotten way earlier. That extra magic resist and armour...

Ive gotten many a kill buy putting one point into Decisive Strike and 2 into Judgment at lvl 3. That second point into Judgment early is very powerful. Courage was buffed recently to where you get max resistances with only one point in it, so maxing it last is the best choice.

3) I feel as if you should grab Phage before Infinity Edge for the increased slow, so you KNOW the enemy is going no where when you spin to win.

This isn't true. Phage only gives you a 25% slow chance. Technically it should proc 1 every 4 attacks, but it never works out that way. Whats really important for Garen mid game, is for it to proc on Decisive Strike. That hardly ever happens with Phage. I wouldn't slow down Infinity Edge for something that may or may not work.

4) Atma's but hardly any health items. Sure Garen is naturally tanky, but maybe an extra health item in their would be beneficial. Banshee's?

I don't understand why people think like this. Ive seen pros build Atmas with nothing but a Trinity Force. With Frozen Mallet you get 57 AD. Thats almost as much AD as Bloodthirster. But your also getting armor and crit chance. And you get all that for only 2355 gold... How is that not worth it?

5) Expanded Mind is very important for hitting level 6 before/at the same time as enemies.

Im guessing you were talking about Awareness? It doesnt make sense on Garen. Thats a support champion mastery. If your playing correctly you should be topping the charts in CS and kills so theres no reason for Awareness. Its useless late game and requires you to spec into stuff that Garen doesnt need.

6) Your intro is a little long, but it is well written. However, it is a HUGE wall of text. Add colour, formatting, anything. You need to break it up with visually pleasing relief. You don't want to bore your reader before they even get to the guide itself. Even wiki coding Garen would be fantastic.

Added wiki coding.

7) Don't include champion Lore. If you really want to do it, put it at the very end. Don't delay what the reader wants to read.

I actually expanded that section lol. But I moved it to the bottom of the guide as you suggested.

8) List alternative runes. List alternative masteries. Combine the two sections, as both are too small to be separate sections. Try using the bbcode for runes and masteries. I detail how to do so in my guide about making a guide.

I combined the two sections. Didn't add alternatives because I don't use any.

9) Center those skill icons. Also, too much colour. Highlight the important parts in colour, leave the rest in white. Or at least find softer versions of blue and green. And by softer, for the love of god, I don't mean fluro.

When I was making my guide I made 2 draft versions. One without the green/blue color break and one with. I couldnt stand to look at the version without. I hate reading white text. Wiki coding and fancy formats dont change that and its the reason I dont read most guides. Thats a change Im not gonna make. The dark green and blue were the most pleasing to the eye. My eyes anyway.

Instead of centering the icons I formatted every section with icons the same way I had my Preferred Lane Partners section. Should of done that to begin with.

10) Don't list useless summoner spells. Again, center those icons. Again, too much colour.

11) Your Off-Tank Garen section is pretty much not needed. Just include the different items you don't detail elsewhere into the items section.

If Im gonna have it in the guide I feel the need for it to have its own section.

12) For your laning champion section, try using float coding. Detailed in my guide about writing a guide.

13) Put Solo Top under Laning partners. Put Teamfighting after Early Game and before Mid game.

14) So much walls of text. Please use wikicoding. Please use colour sparingly. Please add images. Do your best to entertain the reader.

I used wiki coding where ever white text was used. Also added some images to each section. The color stays. If Im so fond of it, there has to be others that agree with the choice.

Thanks again for the review.
Confehdehrehtheh
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Permalink | Quote | PM | +Rep August 29, 2011 10:36pm | Report
Summoner Level: 30
Post Count (at time of request): 101 as of this post I believe
Spell & Grammar check completed: YES Firefox grabs spelling errors with underlines as I type so the only ones that might have been missed are ones that my eyes couldn't pick out. Bad vision messes me up sometimes :(
Guide For (champion): Sona
Why I'd like this to be Reviewed: I'm always looking for feedback on the guide itself. I take pride in this guide.
What I'd like you to focus on: Format and content mostly. General advice will be appreciated of course.
Guide Link: http://www.mobafire.com/league-of-legends/build/sona-super-support-revamped-for-support-overhaul-77657
Awesome sig by jhoijhoi :D
Aura-Support/CDR Sona|Jungle Yorick
The_Nameless_Bard
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Permalink | Quote | PM | +Rep August 30, 2011 10:13am | Report
Summoner Level: 30
Post Count (at time of request): 2535
Spell & Grammar check completed: Spelling-yes, grammar-mostly
Guide For (champion): Kayle
Why I'd like this to be Reviewed: I would like to see some constructive criticism, I have some sheep vote and "Tank Kayle is for noobs" kind of comments, but nothing particularly helpful lately.
What I'd like you to focus on: Whatever you feel needs commenting on
Guide Link: Kayle, Paladin of the League
JakofAllSpaydes
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Permalink | Quote | PM | +Rep August 30, 2011 8:36pm | Report
Oh man, my week long NYC trip really made me fall behind.... Im going to go and make my build really in depth and etc when I get home. Promise. I get back in 3 days though :(. Already bored.
Thx to Jhoi, nyoike, xiao, Jeffy40Hands, AlexPT, Wafflewarrior, Wrath and myself for the sigs <33333
ShadowNet
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Permalink | Quote | PM | +Rep September 1, 2011 1:57pm | Report
Summoner Level:30
Post Count (at time of request):274
Spell & Grammar check completed: Yes
Guide For (champion): Mordekaiser
Why I'd like this to be Reviewed: To make it perfect. 3rd time I'm submitting, feels like going to a doctor.
What I'd like you to focus on: Everything, by everything I mean everything. Make 30 points instead of 10 so I would submit less. :d
Guide Link: http://www.mobafire.com/league-of-legends/build/carry-me-morde-108278

I'll probably add/change more stuff till my turn comes.
NicknameMy
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Permalink | Quote | PM | +Rep September 2, 2011 10:44am | Report
Summoner Level: 30
Post Count (at time of request):564
Spell & Grammar check completed: Not really, i cannot do it^^. Google Translate sucks...
Guide For (champion): Master Yi
Why I'd like this to be Reviewed: Re-Review, I changed many things around. It is now more a general Yi guide with the focus at "Final" Yi.
What I'd like you to focus on: The changed things.
Guide Link: "Final" Yi, King of Jungle
He is gonna kill you!!!

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