Toshabi wrote:
23. Vapora Dork: Vapora Dork. He ruins ARAMS. He makes them not fun. He's just too good at this game.
This spotlight is the reason the Editors discussed cutting Toshabi's left hand, making his ability to write 42 paragraphs over the question "do you like cereal?" so excruciatingly painful he'd need to be on the drug cocktail Whitney Houston called "tea time" back in 1992.
He's not the delicious cooky at the end of the meal. He's your grandmother sadistically walking towards your seat after you had enough food to save Etiopia from starvation and drought, knowing full well she's going to say you haven't eaten anything and need some meat in your body, since your 122Kg (Americans google that in pounds sorry) clearly don't suffice. Also she's gonna ask you if you need another chair since your buttcheeks are digesting the first one you sat on.
How did we ever enable this event is beyond me.
td;dr: I demand an Absolite.
He's not the delicious cooky at the end of the meal. He's your grandmother sadistically walking towards your seat after you had enough food to save Etiopia from starvation and drought, knowing full well she's going to say you haven't eaten anything and need some meat in your body, since your 122Kg (Americans google that in pounds sorry) clearly don't suffice. Also she's gonna ask you if you need another chair since your buttcheeks are digesting the first one you sat on.
How did we ever enable this event is beyond me.
td;dr: I demand an Absolite.
Thank you Byron for 2014's loudest laugh up till today
BigBoxGamer wrote:
Should have voted for me instead. :P
I don't promote chauvinism or age regression, otherwise you'd have been my second option. Then again, that'd mean you can stand up for something that isn't "My team sux qq"
I mean, at least Toshabi's interview extends a fairly solid fictional personality. His projection of an alter-ego is above meh tier. He is not the vilain Mobafire needs, nor the vilain Mobafire deserves, but he's the vilain Mobafire got. And that's something.
FalseoGod wrote:
I don't promote chauvinism or age regression, otherwise you'd have been my second option. Then again, that'd mean you can stand up for something that isn't "My team sux qq"
No it wouldn't. x.x
I'm turning a new leaf, I'm trying to get better.
Short Term Goals: Silver/Gold/Platinum || Long Term Goals: Diamond/Master/Challenger
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But I digress. Yeah, my EARLIEST LEAGUE OF LEGENDS MEMORY! Probably playing Summoners Rift as
Today? Playing on Summoners Rift as Twitch.
... It was definitely because of the Great Mouse Detective.
Oh, and I got a restraining order from Don Bluth when I asked him if he ever had fantasies about making out with the main villain from Space Ace. I'm pretty sure he did and just doesn't want me spoiling any of his deepest darkest secrets to the world.
Or maybe it was because I had the compulsive need to rub my hand over his hands when we started talking to one another. Who knows.
BTW according to Riot Games,
Seriously, the lore of LoL is all over the place and is an utter joke, for the most part. They got the character designs (sort of) down, but the lore in general is about as inspired as the typical Japanofile can afford to brew up.
(I know Diesel is out there watching still).
Jet was a pretty big inspiration actually. We used to do a lot of male modeling back in the day and would always talk about "our next big thing". He'd always tell me things like "Toshabi, you're a sexy *** ***********er, you're gonna go far". And he was right. But what sprang me forward was him taking the ultimate fall and getting himself banned forever from MOBAfail. (he did it on purpose)
Sting is also a pretty major inspiration to me. I mean the songs and the music that he makes, I mean, I don't listen to it at all, but the fact that he's out there doing it, I can totally respect that.
And I got to say, the best thing about it all is that while everyone is struggling to be the best, good guy on here, I have absolutely no competition for being the bad guy of MOBAfail, which makes my job a lot easier since I have a life outside of League of Legends. I mean, if I wanted to be the best best guy I'd have to quit my job, quit school and sit on League all day to be super cool and smart at this game. Being the villain, well, that's easy and laid back. Think of it as having that one kick *** IT job where you sit and browse reddit all day instead of actually doing real work.
Wayne was the knight in shining armor for the citizens of Off Topic and would rise to the ocassion to murder any fun thread that developed in there. I'm of course talking about the hilarious discussions in which I would throw the chair of disharmony to spark friendly MOBAfail discussion in.
Because of that, I grew to love him dearly, along with the fact that he's the only admin I know anywhere who would so boldly wear numbers in his name on a forum where numbers in your name aren't even needed. In fact, if Wayne (no numbers) ever signed up on MOBAFail now, I'm sure he'd be 3100 less cool than the Wayne we got now.
I still don't know why Wayne thinks I hate him, but I think that's because there are 3100 things keeping us from reaching the truth behind it.
****, I was really hoping the jolly dweebuses at Veterans R Us wouldn't ask me this. I'm going to be blunt with these, because why the hell not?
Okay! Well, wow. I should ask you that question, but I'm pretty sure I'm not a champion in League of Legends, so that's that.
But uh, getting back to this question. I wanna say that maybe that one girl that shoots out all those laser beams from her hand. I forgot the name of the champion. I wanna say that the relationship would work, because I distinctly remember her saying that she doesn't like maps. And for a guy like me who hates women who force you to use navigational equipment to get to every single simple location in the world no matter HOW close it is the house or no matter how many times we've been there, having a woman around who doesn't say "Hey! Let's just use a map!" would be a dream come true. I'd do anything to please her and make the relationship work. I'd give it 510%. I'd get 3 jobs. I'd serenade her with sweat melodies across a lake on a canoe for two. I'd describe their eyes to be the brightest stars in the sky and how when I look into her face, I'll be able to tell her just how pretty she is and how incredible she makes me feel.
I'd then hold her hand, smile gently and whisper to her, "I'm shacking up with
Second, I used to keep a rat on my computer shelf named "Xaioli" with a post-it note that said "#2 Twitch on MOBAfail". I think that should qualify as something, yah?
Then again, it probably stayed 2nd place seeing how I went on a LoL hiatus since I went mega full time with work and school. The current #1 Twitch user on MOBAfail is most likely DirtyGoolash.
If I could have any League champion as a pet? I wanna say WrathOfVulk. He'd probably yell at my dead rat Xaioli and I'm positive that'd be really entertaining to watch. It'd be something akin to watching Shia LaBeouf yell at a ****** kid covered in ants.
90% of the people reading this won't get it.
The best concert I've ever been to? And favorite musician? Well lucky you, I got the whole entire answer in on Youtube video I recorded and told someone else to upload!
The best skin hands down is that classy *** Gentleman Gnar skin. THAT is ****ing class. THAT is a well made skin. Probably the best thing Riot has ****ted out as of recent. That is a Gnar with class.
Now as for the worst skin ever? Gentleman Cho'gath. Absolute garbage. That is NOT how a gentleman is like at all. I mean, that voice acting. THAT voice acting. It's like they got the whitest guy on the job, gave him a microphone and said "HEY CAN YOU PRETEND TO BE BROTISH?!". Terrible! Absolute rubbish. Every time someone enters my game with that skin, I will either purposely throw the game to make them lose or (if they are on the enemy team) will camp the **** out of them and watch them squirm as I gank their lane and only their lane. **** objectives. **** the nexus. I'm going to sit there and camp your ****ty *** till you get a REAL gentleman skin. Even the Debonair skins have more class than that ****, and they don't even HAVE new VAing.
Then comes the *****y kids that ruin your life. There will never be a moment where all three buildings will be as clean as a government clean room. When you clean up the vomit from building one, building two will have a kid running in circles while simultaneously ****ting, which is then worse when the teacher frantically chases the child to prevent him from making more of a mess. Their efforts cause them to grind the **** into the carpet with their shoes as they try to make things better (bot lane).
You're not really required to meet every single special need of the buildings right away, because your job is minimum wage and is very "to the books". If you do break your back to clean the mess immediately, no one really cares and they go back to conducting the carnage they so love. If you ignore the problem for or come 10 seconds too late, "WHAT THE **** IS WRONG WITH YOU IT SMELLS LIKE **** IN HERE AND YOU DON'T CLEAN OR PAY ATTENTION TO THIS CLASS ENOUGH **** YOU, YOU NEED TO BE FIRED".
But there is that plus side. While you're on "Break" you can visit the rival building across the street and fling garbage all over on their side. Why, you ask? Because the other janitor is a **** and said "YOUR MOTHER WEARS COMBAT BOOTS, TOSHABI!". What an ********! To get even with him, I'll dump this bag of **** into one of the classrooms through the window. BUT YOU GOTTO MAKE SURE YOU DON'T GET CAUGHT otherwise you're gonna get fined or have to be forced to clean up the mess yourself.
At the end of the busy work day, if you keep the whole entire building clean, no one will care. If you work head over heels to get the best cleaning equipment for your building and meet their needs, you will get no credit at all. Nope. Just the teachers. BUT if you **** up and not meet every beck and call of said teachers, it's game over. You'll get sent to the boss's office where he will sip coffee and talk to you while casually reaching his hands down his pants to give himself a lap pinkie.
I don't have any tips for Jungle, because I don't spend enough time on LoL to discuss the new meta. Actually I do, but there are hundreds of other dweebs on this site that dedicate their LIFE and HOURS upon HOURS of their day making guides to tell you how to play the game right. Go bother one of them for you LoL tips.
What I will say though is when the other team *****es about their team in all chat, SIDE WITH THEM! Trust me, invoking a bit of carnage and chaos into the other team's mindsets by adding fuel to the fire will make them go total tilt mode, which will end with them increasing their chance of losing by 78% (aka ******** LoL statistics).
Difficulty: 8/10
Fun Factor: 10/10
Review: Super fun and really challenging. Plus if you get super good, you can use this game to farm tickets IRL for Dave n' Busters. Very very good game and is much more challenging/requires more skill than LoL, since you actually have to do something different than mash Q,W,E, & R (aka, every
Difficulty: 10/10
Fun Factor: 5/10
Review: This game is HARD which can sometimes not make it very fun. The reason why is because this is based on real life. You have to do a real job to satisfy a real boss, otherwise you run the risk of being fired. And that's bad. I find this game to be deeply imaginative than LoL, mainly because it simulates this thing called real life, which is something that LoL can't seem to do. I mean, all the women in this game don't have boobs that look like they would break their back just by walking or whack them in the throat if they quickly look up. The art style is also very consistent. That's something LoL hasn't had since season 1.
http://www.thebest404pageever.com/
Difficulty: 7/10
Fun Factor: 8/10
Review: It's like opening up Pandora's Box; you never know what sort of monstrosity you will release on this world just by pushing the F5 button. From cute, kawaii kitty emoticons to images of a fat person jumping up and down your screen, you will never know what you will get! Maybe Forest Gump would have a thing or two to say about this game if he ever played it. This game takes RNG and makes it fun, unlike LoL.
Difficulty: 9/10
Fun Factor: 10/10
Review: If you thought you were a bad *** for playing
But to be fair, the best/worst thing about MOBAfail are the guides.
July 2015
Toshabi
June 2015
Nameless_Bard
May 2015
GrandmasterD
April 2015
Embracing
March 2015
Vapora Dark
February 2015
Luther3000
January 2015
Koksei
December 2014
Wayne3100
November 2014
Mowen
July 2014
Joxuu
June 2014
IceCreamy
May 2014
PsiGuard
April 2014
Emikadon
February 2014
xDanielWang
January 2014
Meiyjhe
November 2013
DEWO
September 2013
Jebus McAzn
August 2013
Jhoijhoi