NOTICE - Updated to 13.10 as of 1:55PM on 5/28/23, now I've got to submit an English quiz...

[1] - Written from a place of love, not only for big **** action in toplane but tentacle hentai. I mean, have you seen those tentacles? Illaoi can't just be using them for battle y'know what I mean baby?

[2] - In a more serious manner, this is a guide written for people who don't know how to play lanephase well. With some more advanced stuff sprinkled in, as in tethering, and wave management.

[3] - Pros and cons are STUPID, You are an immobile juggernaut that spikes at level's 3/6 and at 2 items. You rely on your 1vEveryone potential. THINK AHEAD AND WIN IT ALL BABY!

Guide Reviews ->
"Wow Rymdskora is SO hot" - Anonymous Lulu onetrick.
"Best Illaoi guide on the site, hands down" - Myself 2021.
"I haven't ever seen bigger **** action in toplane" - Anonymous Janna player.
"Lord almighty pray for me y'all I'm boutta bust" - Every single jungler I play with.

Conqueror - Healing on max stacks, bonus damage.

Presence of Mind - Mana restoration, we use a lot of mana.

Legend: Tenacity - CC resistance, good for frontliners.

Last Stand - Bonus damage at low HP, excellent for us.

More plates, more dates. Hit the tower pre-14 and you get BONUS GOLD!

The lower your health the shorter amount of time your CC'd for. "Cry havoc and let slip the dogs of war."

Taste of Blood - Bonus healing to keep us alive.

Ravenous Hunter - Extra bonus healing to keep us even more alive.

Ability Haste is self explanatory, abilities are up faster so we can kill QUICKER!

Adapative damage is good, kill people quicker. Always a slaughter.

Armor is generally good toplane, you can swap to Magic Resist for AP users.

Prophet of an Elder God - Tentacles spawn on the nearest terrain to you (Given that no tentacles are already spawned within a certain range.) Tentacles attack enemies when commanded by your abilities (Think of your favorite tentacle hentai.) And they heal you for 5% of your missing HP on hit!

Tentacle smash - Tentacle smash (Counts as a tentacle, check your passive damage for base tentacle smash damage.) slaps down at a target location, dealing damage to whatever unlucky soul that was queued against you. It also, amps your passive tentacle damage per level!

Harsh Lesson - Harsh Lesson lets you hop to the enemy target, and do bonus maximum hp damage. It also commands the nearest tentacle to slam at whatever you hit.

Test of Spirit - Your bread and butter, using Test pulls the enemy who was hit spirit from them. Essentially creating a clone of them, that you can hit and echo damage to them. Spawned tentacles will try to smack spirits every few seconds, use your W to hit them more!

Leap of Faith - Spawns a tentacle per enemy hit, and halves W cooldown. When you use R, try to use it after you've pulled E as it'll spawn another tentacle. Envision your favorite scene, you know the one. It's pound-town now.

But Rymdskora, how do I hit my abilities?! They key is to use your minions to your advantage, especially in lanephase. Whenever one of your minions is low, the enemy wants to kill it for gold. You can use this to your advantage by throwing your abilities last second, over and past your creeps to have insane skillshot accuracy.

It's kind of trash because Riot nerfed it, unwinnable xd. It's still usable, but Sunderer is currently not as dogwater. There is an exception though, 3+ enemy melee champs it's good.

Yet another item that Riot completely destroyed in their Reddit-like crusade on anyone who is decent in current meta, trash like your botlane (And you bby, jk luv u long time.)

The best of the 3 Mythics you can reliably use as of current patch (11.17) just buy it bro, it's pretty decent.

It's weird, really weird. It used to be the best to slot pre-rework, you can do it but I don't recommend it. It's like abandoning your dog on the side of the road, you're a monster.

Frostfire Gauntlet is a fun strategy in conjunction with Fimbulwinter. It's a powerful combo that gives you an ungodly amount of uptime in fights. It's downfall is you're gimped on damage early in the game. I wholly recommend trying this build out.

It's a weird item to slot. It's pretty similar to Trinity Force in that sense, but it fulfills a highly defensive role. It can be useful when you need more tankiness than Frostfire can provide. However, in that event it may be more useful to slot Frostfire into either Frozen Heart or Force of Nature.

Best item in the game, hands down. Use it for long trades / healing up vs inbreds who pick ranged tops.

Take tear lvl 1 if you're building Frozen fist + Fimbulwinter, you want it to be fully stacked ASAP. Also buy x6 if losing :)

If this isn't self explanatory, please NEVER queue for ranked. Ward when pushing, or before being shoved in.

The costly companion to stealth wards, you can buy them sometimes or not at all. It's okay to slot sometimes, but if you're learning just try to use stealth wards (Unless you are my support, mother of god learn to ward you ****ter).

Buy it, and forget about it. Until you need to upgrade it, of course. All Vladimir top players can burn in hell.

YOUR HEALING IS BAD, AND YOU SHOULD FEEL BAD. GO HOME VLADIMIR, YOUR HOME IS IN MIDLANE (That goes for you too Irelia, with your BORK.)

I prefer bramble to executioners, as it builds into thornmail down the line. Plus, like every other NA player idk what to do with executioners after 25 minutes.

The continuation of Bramble Vest. When in doubt, buy bramble vest and make anyone hitting you and healing cry. Executioners is a good alternative to bramble.

So glad Riot brought this baby back. Casters? buy this baby and RUN at 'em, yell at them in all-chat too. Cause they're going DOWN (A heads up, this item isn't a good as it seems, but still useful sometimes.)

When you need magic resist, and to amp your heals this is THE go-to item. Build it and reap the rewards. Also, Grievous Wounds hates you.

This item is a heaping pile of dog**** now, I'll update the builds soon. SERIOUSLY RIOT?!?!?!.

Extremely useful for burst heavy comps, and teamfighting alike. Pop it when everyone turns on you, and bathe in the blood of your enemies.

You usually can't use this item, but you can build it in conjunction with frostfire gauntlet. It's a pretty fun strategy.

Another great item killed by Riot Games (rightfully so.) It's shifted from a "buy every game" item to a "Their burst hurts a lot" item.

A great item for blue-balling whoever is currently carrying, buy it, bind it, and bang "it."

Mordekaiser? BUY QSS, BUY QSS, BUY QSS, BUY QSS, BUY QSS, BUY QSS, BUY QSS, BUY QSS, BUY QSS. This is a toplaners monopoloy equivalent of "Get Outta Jail Free"

If the Crit hurts too much, buy Randuins. You'll know if the crit hurts too much.

Kog'Maw attacking you too fast? No problem, slow that sucker down.

Can't close the gap between you and the enemy AD? buy Deadman's and run them down at the speed of sound, and then CTRL+3 spam.

If Maokai is giving you trouble, you should call a lumberjack. Or just buy one of these bad boys from Harbor Freight. If you buy this item and they are building MR, I'll hurt you btw.

More damage, more faster, more speedy. What else could you want? Papa Johns.

A very weird, but powerful item to slot. It gives you immense sidelane pressure, at the expense of teamfight potential.

I usually buy these after phage, or if I'm just short of it. If you can buy a longsword, ruby crystal, and boots, JUST DO IT.

If they have a lot of CC, go treads. (You can also go treads if they have a really annoying AP threat toplane, but steelcaps might be better.)

If they have multiple AD threats, go steelcaps (It's actually Tabi's, don't tell Riot.)

Feathers on your Jordan's! A good slot vs comps with lots of slows but little to no hard CC.

Leap of Faith can be used to buffer CC, this is extremely useful when dueling, getting ganked, teamfighting, and any other time you can think about being CC'd. You can watch a video of CC buffering with Illaoi's ultimate HERE. Notice how I completely negate Oriana's ultimate with my ultimate.

Surviving ganks is relatively simple given you land your E. When getting ganked, it's usually easier to angle yourself at the enemy laner and then throw your E at the jungler. This should usually guarantee you a landed E, then you can fight 1v2 with R.

Harsh Lesson can be used as a gap-closer, and to hop walls. You will jump onto whatever enemy you hit with W. If you have vision over a wall, you can simply W(Given you're in range)over the wall to said target. Although, I've found it to only be useful in niche cases.

Harsh Lesson also has a built-in-ish? bug where you can use it when you're out of mana. If you Q, you can queue up your W for free and be OOM after using Q. Although since you've already queued up your W, you'll be able to use Harsh Lesson for free.

You can also ult flash to quickly reposition yourself in fights, you can watch that HERE. I'm up in the air for awhile, but after I flash Leap of Faith slams where I am, not where I was.

Use corrupting pot before you hit the vessel from Test of Spirit. This will apply the burn from corrupting pot without having to be in melee range.

- Level Q level 1, no negotiation on this. You will actually lose against ANYONE who is competent otherwise.

- Level 1 & 2, you are NOT a champion. Let me reiterate, there is no one you will beat level 1 & 2. You want to play back and give up CS & ground, use your Q to farm and let the wave come to you.

- Once we're 3, we can start trading. Don't get overzealous though, if you miss Test of Spirit, you're in for a rough trade. Try to position yourself between two tentacles, and hit them with E. Then you can transfer massive damage through the vessel, and heal up any missing HP.

- Once we're 6 we can begin to truly rain down hellfire toplane. Push your wave to the enemy tower, and move your tentacle line forwards. Throw E's at your enemy when they go to last hit creeps. Make sure to have adequate ward coverage as well, you can 1v2 just make sure to land E!

- I quickly want to go over foresight when laning. Anytime you are playing, you should be thinking ahead. Illaoi is a champion who reaps enormous benefits from having a plan ahead of time. If you are getting ganked by a Lee Sin, and your Laner is Maokai, who is better to E here? This kind of critical thinking can make or break you as a player, apply and practice it.[/columns]

- Lastly, we need to talk about Tethering. Tethering simply explained, is the idea of having a rope between your and your enemy that you want to almost always be taught. This rope is the range of their longest ability. If they walk forward, you walk backwards and vice versa. This is extremely important for making sure you don't get hit by skillshots.

- Tethering has another aspect to it, that is learned quickly. You can bait out skillshots by metaphorically speaking, giving the enemy slack in the rope. You walk slightly into their skillshot range, then immediately back out. At higher levels of play, you and other players are able to try to predict movement when someone is giving slack.

- Tethering goes beyond just lanephase, it is used in all facets of League of Legends. Teamfighting, splitpushing, objective control, etc. It is a good skill to always be practicing.

- Wave Manipulation can be easily summed up into +2, +3, or +4.

- What does that mean?! Simply put, the further your creep wave is forward (towards either you or the enemy) the more minions you need to push, pull, or stall.

- As a general rule, if you want to freeze the creep wave (also called parking the wave) you want the enemy minion wave to have more minions than yours. Why?: The more creeps your wave has, the more damage they can do.

- Inversely, if you want your wave to push you want to have more minions than the enemy wave.

- Lastly, you can build up large creep waves (This is called slowpushing). This is done by having slightly more creeps than the enemy wave. Doing this makes it so the enemy wave dies slightly faster than yours. Thus your wave pushes slowly, and you're able to stack multiple waves together.

- Slowpushing allows you to setup backs, roams, and dives by crashing large creep waves into towers.

- Teleport is extremely useful for moving around the map, and quickly rotating to objectives from sidelanes. Allow me to give you vision, haha, get the joke?

- Anytime after lanephase has ended, if you have teleport available, you should be on the opposite side of the map from the objective. (Ex. Baron is up, you have TP. You should be splitting botlane.)

- In conjunction with the point above, you should be using TP to join fights, or to force objectives. You can split Botlane when Baron is up, let your team force Baron, and either TP to help them or continue taking objectives in the sidelane.

- Lastly, Teleport can be used after you back before dragon (30s, so you can walk to Dragon) and help your team take dragon. Then TP back toplane so you can still absorb gold & XP from the wave.

- As of Season 12, teleport is slightly different. You cannot teleport to allied wards till post 14 minutes. This means you'll be teleporting to towers pre-14, be mindful of timers as this makes it harder to be on objectives early.

- WHERE DO I WANT TO BE? You may ask yourself this question, it comes down to TP availability, and what's going on on the map. Largely I believe you want to be with your team, as you have immeasurable value within teamfights & pushing.

- Building on where you want to be, you also need to learn how you need to be. The splitpushing section outlines counting digits, and you need to do that here as well.

- You usually want to show up to dragon fights, if you're late on a recall just go back top or use TP to get to Dragon. Do not die for a ****ing dragon, it is not the center of the universe. I'd rather you get 12cs than die and drop Baron at 22 minutes.

- If Baron is being threatened, and it's pre-25 you're most likely going to lose. Your best courses of action, is to either dance near baron pit (That has two meanings, do whichever) or pressure something else on the map to force the enemy team away / into making a choice.

- HOW DO I TEAMFIGHT? I really don't know, I just mash my keyboard and hope I pentakill.

I promise I'm working on the guide, emphasis on promise.

- Splitpushing is simultaneously simple and complex. There's a few key things that separate inting in a sidelane (Graciously dubbed "Speed Coffin Sidelaner" by Isaac) and splitpushing from each other, I'm outlining these below.

- First, matching your teams position in lane. If your team is in toplane, you need to be roughly in the same position botlane or further back. If you push too far solo you're going to get gang ****ed by 3-4 people. Draw an imaginary line between you and your team, it should stay at a consistent angle.

- Secondly, having a goal when splitting. Why am I splitting, what am I trying to gain? These are things to ask yourself. If the answer is "No ****ing clue" group with your fellow neckbeards and just aram it mid dude. Having a goal is important, it's as simple as "I need to draw pressure bot so my team can baron."

- Tertiary point, count your digits. There are FIVE enemy champions, count them on the map and make a plan to either get outta dodge or fight your way through however many are missing. This will make or break you, you can't always 1v5.

- Similar-ish to midgame, you're looking to pressure cross-map with TP and force the enemy teams hand. Either fight 3v4 at Baron, or lose botlane inhib. If you are going to TP to the fight, TP before it starts. There's no good reason to be a post-ejaculator here, be premature it's better.

Yeah, I'll update this one eventually too.

- Looking to make your own godly guide like mine? GIT GUD.
(Paintnet for section banners, Imgur for imagine hosting, credits to other random hobos for guides on writing guides and using this weird abstract web-language xd.)

- Also, if you want to add me you can! I play on NA as Rymdskora, drop me a friend request and I'll jokingly tell you to kick rocks. Maybe we can norms?! OwO

- Interesting how all those people who make guides for exposure dissapeared from the Illaoi section, it's probably because they SUCK.