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jhoijhoi's review & discussion service

Creator: jhoijhoi June 29, 2011 5:44pm
ShadowNet
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I've been thinking about adding a whole chapter about spell vamp (path of the sparkling spell vampire) but I'll probably do it after I come back from my vacation.
Siveo
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Summoner Level: 30

Post Count (at time of request): 77 with this one

Spell & Grammar check completed: I did it but English is not my foreign language so ...

Guide For (champion): Shen

Why I'd like this to be Reviewed: First guide I've made, looking for some comments on how I play with him.

What I'd like you to focus on: Uhm, everything?

My Shen Build
Rudmed
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Siveo wrote:

Summoner Level: 30

Post Count (at time of request): 77 with this one

Spell & Grammar check completed: I did it but English is not my foreign language so ...

Guide For (champion): Shen

Why I'd like this to be Reviewed: First guide I've made, looking for some comments on how I play with him.

What I'd like you to focus on: Uhm, everything?

My Shen Build

I've taken a look at, and here my criticsm.

Hey I'm just checking out your guide, and offering some constructive criticism.

1. Ryali's on Shen.....Ryali's on Shen. Why? You say to chase escaping enemies, but chances are if they are escaping they have low health. Meaning they are out of the fight. Also Shen has only 1 damaging skill, and that is about the only good skill for it. So no, just not find a better item.

2. Pros/cons and all the pre-game stuff that you set up need to go before, your in-game stuff.

3. Center your pictures, or use columns. If you have not viewed jhoijhoi's how to make guides then you need to. It will help you clear up things, and make it more organized.

4. Double check for minor spelling, grammar issues.

5. Go more in-depth to use your skills. For example instead of mindlessly of Shadow Dash into a team, save it for the one causing the most trouble. Or use vorpal blade to mark your foes. You just need more.

This can be found on your guide as well for quick reference.
Searz
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Rylai is a great optional item on Shen. HP and AP increases his threat level while also increasing his shield values (both ult and Feint). The slow is just an added bonus.
I'm a strong independent black mage who don't need no mana.
Siveo
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Searz wrote:

Rylai is a great optional item on Shen. HP and AP increases his threat level while also increasing his shield values (both ult and Feint). The slow is just an added bonus.


When I read it, I had the same comment! It's not only the AP that increases Vorpal Blade but also the passive, and the 2 shields!

For the other points, I'm working on it! Give me some time and it will look better!

Thanks for the review!
Xiron
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NicknameMy wrote:

I answered on your guide. Maybe you can use it to improve your guide.


Okay. I edited (?) my Guide. U may read it again :P
Tahnkz alot.
Thanks to JEFFY40HANDS!

jhoijhoi
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!!! University > Reviewing !!!



>>> I will review 3 Guides Per Day <<<




ATTENTION: Due to a huge influx of requests, I have now implemented some requirements. This is so I don't end up reviewing a guide who's author doesn't care, or reviewing a guide that is really bad, or reviewing a guide that has not clicked on the link above. If you want me to spend over half an hour reading your guide and writing a reply, you can very well return the favour!

REQUIREMENTS:
- Author must have +100 Posts
- Guide must have been run through a spell and grammar check
- Author must be over Summoner Level 25
- Author must comment on my Ashe guide with their opinion.


If you are LUCKY, your guide will be reviewed by other members, such as: Searz, da_Neo, Rudmed, Bloofyre, Bryun, and Nighthawk. They drop in from time to time to help with my workload. <3

* I will be completely honest in my opinion
* I will not downvote or upvote until I have received a response from my review, and I see you have dropped your opinion of my Ashe guide in the comment section
* I will review your request as soon as physically and mentally possible

* At the completion of my Review, I will post my verdict of your guide here, along with my review (verdicts are featured in the below post)

You must use this format below for submitting a guide for review, otherwise I'll ignore your request. People who just drop their links here will be completely ignored.

Summoner Level:
Post Count (at time of request):
Spell & Grammar check completed: YES/NO
Guide For (champion):
Why I'd like this to be Reviewed:
What I'd like you to focus on:
Guide Link:

What do I expect in return? Read/vote on my >> Complete & Comprehensive Compiled Catalogue of Ashe Knowledge <<, +rep me, and a simple thank you would be lovely ^^

OTHER RULES/NOTES:
- Please only submit one guide per request.
- Please do not request a review on a champion who has not been released. I would also prefer to read only guides published on MobaFire.
- If you are rude to me in your response to my review, I will consider not featuring you in the below post.
- If I read your guide. And you have not read the links I have supplied in this post. I will literally asplode. And you will be charged with my death.


Common Things I Repeat In Most Of My Reviews


  • ONE BUILD. Show me one build, the one you use 90% of the time, in your cheat sheet. NO NEED, EVER, to display more than one cheat sheet. All alternative items can be explained in your Situational/Alternative Items section.
  • Good Hands IS ****ING BETTER THAN PERSEVERANCE. Jesus Christ.
  • Colour is good. Too much colour is bad. Find the correct balance.
  • Paragraphical space. Walls of text = bad. Sparse text = bad. Find the correct balance.



Nighthawk has opened his own Review Thread Here. Go ahead and check it out ^^



Reviewable Guides
Searz wrote:

Summoner Level: HURR
Post Count: 4000-5000 or so.
Spell & Grammar check completed: I don't misspell. >:3
Guide For (champion): None.
Why I'd like this to be Reviewed: I basically want to hear your opinion on the guide and what I could improve. because I'm currently (almost) lost on what I could change.
What I'd like you to focus on: That^.
Guide Link: http://www.mobafire.com/league-of-legends/build/rune-tips-what-secondary-and-primary-means-and-more-24255

Rudmed wrote:

Summoner Level:30
Post Count (at time of request): 36
Spell & Grammar check completed: YES
Guide For (champion): Tanks
Why I'd like this to be Reviewed: Final check to ensure it is kind to the eyes, and nourshing to the mind.
What I'd like you to focus on: anything
Guide Link: Tanks....okay

VoiD wrote:

Summoner Level:30
Post Count (at time of request):500 ish
Spell & Grammar check completed: YES
Guide For (champion):Brand
Why I'd like this to be Reviewed:It's brand free week so i want people to not suck.
What I'd like you to focus on:anything really
Guide Link:http://www.mobafire.com/league-of-legends/build/brand-how-to-kill-maokai-in-2-seconds-111206

ShadowNet wrote:

Summoner Level: 30
Post Count (at time of request): 213
Spell & Grammar check completed: Yes
Guide For (champion): Mordekaiser
Why I'd like this to be Reviewed: Polished the guide after criticism.
What I'd like you to focus on: Again anything you find wrong.
Guide Link: http://www.mobafire.com/league-of-legends/build/carry-me-morde-108278

NicknameMy wrote:

Summoner Level: 30 (ELO: 1147...)
Post Count (at time of request): 349(with this one)
Spell & Grammar check completed: YEN(Well, i am german^^. No gurantee for no mistakes, but i readed the guide very often.)
Guide For (champion): Master Yi
Why I'd like this to be Reviewed: This guide got downvoted very hard and i want to know, why...
What I'd like you to focus on: All^^. Only a complete guide is a complete guide. If you find something wrong, you could tell me so i can correct.
Guide Link: http://www.mobafire.com/league-of-legends/build/quot-final-quot-yi-king-of-jungle-104375

Xiron wrote:

Summoner Level: 30
Post Count (at time of request): 233
Spell & Grammar check completed: YES
Guide For (champion): Wukong
Why I'd like this to be Reviewed: I wanna get my Guide more know AND improve it.
What I'd like you to focus on: Everything. Just read it.
Guide Link
Nighthawk
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Permalink | Quote | PM | +Rep August 12, 2011 6:54pm | Report
3 guides, sorely tempted to implement that myself.


jhoijhoi
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Permalink | Quote | PM | +Rep August 12, 2011 7:24pm | Report
Searz's Rune Guide
Verdict: A very helpful, and useful guide about Rune Purchasing. I honestly wish I had seen this guide before I had went ahead and bought a full page of Attack Speed Runes when I hit level 20.
Possible Improvements: I find the guide is a bit dry to read, and a tad non-aesthetically pleasing. This is most likely due to the lack of images to break up the text. Some coding, like Indents, would go really nicely with your ranking system, and the guide could do with some more colour. Using the new embedding system would be great too, to emphasis those generic "Caster, tank, dps" rune selections. Just think about how you could make your guide more fun to read.

Constructive Criticism:

1) In your Primary Runes section, you have "Marks: Penetration" - should probably say "Armor Penetration"

2) With regards to your ranking, perhaps consider a different ranking style. What has "S" got to do with being great? I know in each section you've placed them in order, but maybe an easier way of looking at it, like:

Searz wrote:
Marks

A+: ArP, MrP
A: AS, CrC, AD
B: MR, Armor
C: AP/lvl, MP5, CrD, AD/lvl, AP
Fail:Rank: HP, HP/lvl, Mana/lvl, Mana, CDR, MR/lvl

Basically I was confused with the S and F. Does S stand for high achievement, or something? And in Australia we have no "F" for fail, we have "E". So yeah. Small thing lol.

3) The only other thing I can think of is listing all the runes in terms of the wikicode, so people can hover their mouses over them and SEE why they are placed in each category.
Nighthawk
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Permalink | Quote | PM | +Rep August 12, 2011 7:30pm | Report
jhoijhoi wrote:
I honestly wish I had seen this guide before I had went ahead and bought a full page of Attack Speed Runes when I hit level 20.


loooool <3


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